Hello, all!
i know many of you have been stalking me for updates on this pregnancy. Honestly, I've had a lot going on (DH and DS and I were all sick, then my baby shower(s), then several doc appointments, and fighting with banks and running errands and more---
So, I haven't updated since 22 weeks. That's 3 weeks. Let me think of all that has happened.
PREGNANCY---I had an appointment on Feb 1. At that appoinment we found out that i'd lost another .3cm of cervix. Luckily, I still had 3.9cm and am well within the normal range, so my doctor isn't worried. As she gets bigger, I'll lose cervix faster, of course, so I'm still not out of the woods at all, but having a really long cervix to start with helps! Otherwise, she's growing and kicking and thumping around in there consistently and I'm pretty happy with that. She doesn't measure BIG like Smidget did. She's measured a little over, but never much, so I'm thinking I've got a pretty average sized baby in there. So, maybe a 5-6lb baby by the time she shows up around 36 weeks. Smidget was estimated at almost 8lbs at 36 weeks (and based on average growth, the estimate was probably pretty darn accurate since he was born at almost 10lbs 4.5 weeks later). So, I'm prepping for a small newb, but hoping she's only
technically a preemie (my stitch comes out at 36w and my cervix probably won't hold much longer, so its doubtful I'll make 37 to be "term") and that she comes healthy, even if she is small.
During the ultrasound, she (of course) hid her face again, so all I got pics of was her butt/spine. Silly kid! Hopefully she is moved up some for my ultrasound tomorrow!
Still definitely a girl.
VIABILITY---we've crossed into viability. Its a big huge step and my feelings around that week were so mixed that it was difficult for me to process (another reason why I didn't post an update). I was thrilled to reach that milestone, but I spent most of that week remembering the horrible two days in the hospital with Deagan praying for every hour. And the last few hours, knowing he was coming and KNOWING they wouldn't even attempt to help him because he hadn't crossed that milestone that made them care about him, the milestone that would have made them fight for him and believe in him and have hope for him. Just 5 days more and he would have had a CHANCE to show them. So, that week was a very joyous one for this pregnancy, but a VERY VERY painful one as I reflected on the last time I approached that week in a pregnancy and how very different my circumstances were. It was a very hard week to get through. The week gearing up to it, of course, each day was agony as I waited to cross that threshold. At 23w even, I felt sick and panicked ALL day, fearing that history would repeat itself and I'd find blood when I went to the bathroom or that I'd suddenly start contracting more, etc. Then I got through that day without breaking completely down only to deal with 23w2d, which was the day in Deagan's pregnancy when he was born and died. Again, I was panicky all day, expecting the worst. Each trip to the bathroom was torture. Each cramp, twinge, round ligament pain, BH contraction, or small gush of discharge would stop me cold in my tracks. I was actually out to lunch with a friend that day and my son was asleep in my lap (he was a total limp-towel. it was so pathetic how tired-out he was). Just as we finished the meal, I felt a gush of warm, wet fluid and my friend said I lost ALL color and went completely still and looked like something awful had just happened. I don't think I've ever been so glad to realize that I had been PEED on in my entire life. Somehow the pee managed to go right down between my thighs without hitting my lap (my legs were a little apart to support him while he slept), so all I felt was the puddle form on the chair under me and then spread outward on my clothes as I sat. Not sure how that happened, but it was heart-stopping. And he hasn't peed during a nap in months, so it was totally unexpected. SHEESH. So, that week and a half span was absolutely a roller coaster.
BABY SHOWER:
There were two, the first one was thrown by my DH's unit for about 20 women. it was nice, but because they didn't do anything big it was more of just a baby-themed lunch with a lot of women I didn't know at all, haha. However, I did win basically ALL the prizes (3 games, I won one which was all that was allowed. I won a door prize. And I won a little contest they did for each table. So, every possible prize!). I wound up getting a big basket of toiletry items (shampoo, lotion, baby powder, baby wash, baby oil, wipes, a couple pacis, a sleeper, a bib, a crocheted hat, a blanket/towel, etc.)---and a door prize of an original Wizard of Oz book and stuffted Toto dog---and another basket of "Peter Rabbit" themed things (3 rabbit books, a blanket, night-time massage lotion, a couple onesies, a bunny stuffy, a hand crocheted blanket, etc)---and the table-competition prize was some mama-pampering lotion gift set. And the first 5 people to arrive got a $20 gift card to Target! Plus I got 4 new outfits because I arrived early! Not a bad way to encourage people to show up on time
The bathtime basket:
The decor when I first arrived:
The food table (which you know my fat-ass was sitting right next to!)
And the backseat of DH's car (he had mine with DS's carseat) on the way home:
The second shower was my personal shower (hosted by a long time friend and fellow BGer--Jae! Thanks!!!) and it was awesome. I have ZERO pictures of the baby shower as my cell battery was almost dead and I was forbidden from taking photos with my own camera and told to just enjoy---so I have to wait on Jae to upload her pics before I can share them with everyone (Jae! Please burn me a CD! I'll put your photos on a disk/thumb drive for you very soon!).
I had a lot of really touching, sweet gifts: One of my favorite gifts was a set of New Orleans onesies and a King Cake from a friend of mine in NOLA---made me miss "home" and even more excited to have her here so I can teach her to be a Saints fan since Dh seems to have brainwashed my son into being a Ravens fan
And I was SOOOO amazingly blessed this time around. So many friends and family sent gifts. I still need some things (clothes 6m+!) and a few more of the smaller items, but we got SO much more than I ever imagined. I have more blankets than she'll ever use, haha. And can't wait to dress her up in all the cute clothes.
Having my shower early was the PERFECT choice as I was physically capable of being there and enjoying it fully (including the hilarious bottle-chug and "don't pee your pants" games!). Plus, it helped do a LOT of healing after a very difficult 23rd and early 24th week. And it gave me some things to do to next (separate clothes by size and figure out what I still need, organize her room a little, etc). And it helped me feel prepared so that IF she does come early, I have the necessities and can make do with the rest as it comes.
FAMILY:
DH is significantly more attached as each day and week passes. This is very relieving to me. And he calls her by name now *melt*---Ainsley Renee. I know BG hates her name, but we love it and nobody else matters (plus, its spelled right, isn't a made up name, is a name she can get a job with and have a normal social life, so I don't care!). He is still a bit weird. I don't know that the loss of our other babies is "harder" on him, but he definitely has a harder time DEALING with it all. And because he feels so impotent when it comes to control over the pregnancy outcome, it makes him more frustrated and more standoffish. I do believe he'll be MUCH better once we get close to term and once she's here safe and home with us.
BIG BROTHER:
He's taking his role quite seriously. He talks about her all the time and calls her by name and tells everyone about her as much as he can. He loves watching ultrasounds and telling the doctor all about his plans with his sister and telling strangers that she is HIS and that they can't touch her (or talk about her!). He keeps talking about how much he wants to help take care of her, so I made him a "Moby" style wrap out of some spare fabric I had (mailing matching ones to 2 of my friends for their kids when I go to the PO next week):
Look how damn cute he is! He's SOOO proud to have the chance to wear his sister (just around the living room under strict supervision)---
He has adopted one of his bears and calls it "Sister bear" and practices diapering, feeding, carrying, holding, bathing, etc. its the cutest thing ever! And he practices taking "her" for walks around the neighborhood in the stroller:
As for the BELLY: No amazing growth spurts, but just a steady expansion.
This was around 22weeks when I last posted:
And this is today at 25.5w:
And heres some taken in the last couple of weeks just for fun:
And another one of mama and her favorite little boy on Earth:
That's it! Appointment tomorrow, so I'll update then since life has slowed down a big now---maybe that'll stop PMs and profile comments from all my BG stalkers checking up on me
Glad to know you guys miss me. I promise I won't be gone so long again!
~P
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