Forums > TTC and AdoptionPage 1 2by: Betty Sue.

When is the right time?

posted 14th Feb
I am 18 years old, (will be turning 19 in July) and I have a 3 year old kid who i am so deeply in love with. I just moved into my own place, I have a job working at Mcdonalds, and I just recently got hired to do a 10-6 shift at a hospital making $13 an hour... So I am pretty stable, (not all the way - but financially, yes) anyway - I have been thinking about having another baby...I really want my little Chianna Rose <3 and my sugar has been asking me for a baby sister..but Im a little worried that he's not old enough to fully understand what will happen once I get pregnant. We have been through alot, with the adoption..but he was a little younger, so he didnt understand what was going on. Now that I have my life together..Im thinking about adding another member to our family. But when is the right time? Should I wait a couple more years? Has anyone else gone through this? When did you decide that it was the right time to TTC?
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I have 1 child & live in Sicklerville, New Jersey
posted 14th Feb
I don't think an 18 y/o working at McDonalds who already has one kid should be trying for another. Sry, just my opinion. I think you would really start struggling.
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I have 2 kids & live in Round Rock, Texas
posted 14th Feb
It's your life, and it completely depends when you feel that you are ready.

Are you going to have enough for maternity leave?

Are you going to be able to afford childcare for 2 children?

Would you need a bigger place (and be able to afford it)?


I'd ask myelf some of those questions, along with the emotional preparedness questions, before trying for another. But that's just me.
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I'm due September 11th (a boy), have 1 child & live in Syracuse, New York
posted 14th Feb
I personally would hold off. I would wait till I was a little older and had been at my job a little longer. You are still really young. Are you in a good relationship?
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I have 3 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Illinois
posted 14th Feb
There is no way you are financially stable flipping burgers.
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I live in New York
posted 14th Feb
Quoting °NoName™°¯\_(ツ)_/¯:" There is no way you are financially stable flipping burgers."
She did say she just got hired at a hospital.
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I have 3 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Illinois
posted 14th Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Mandy and her girls!~:</b>" She did say she just got hired at a hospital."</blockquote>




I know but she JUST got hired. Even with that job though its still going to be hard for her
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I live in New York
posted 14th Feb
Quoting °NoName™°¯\_(ツ)_/¯:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mandy and her girls!~:</b>" She did say she just got hired at ... [snip!] ... a hospital."</blockquote> I know but she JUST got hired. Even with that jib though its still going to be hard for her"


Yes, especially if she's a single parent.

Didn't mention anything about a significant other, or their employment status... so that would be a consideration, too.
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I'm due September 11th (a boy), have 1 child & live in Syracuse, New York
posted 14th Feb
You might want to think about saving a little nest egg first. Plus remember, you have to work at a job for 1 year before you get 12 weeks FMLA job protection. You might want to start banking leave time so that when you are ready to have a baby you will have plenty of paid leave to help you too. Do you have a SO? You are so young and have plenty of time to have kids and still be young....why rush? What is the story on the adoption you mentioned? Your little man is adorable.
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I'm due July 5th, have 1 child & live in Maryland
posted 14th Feb
Quoting °NoName™°¯\_(ツ)_/¯:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mandy and her girls!~:</b>" She did say she just got hired at ... [snip!] ... a hospital."</blockquote> I know but she JUST got hired. Even with that jib though its still going to be hard for her"
Yeah I know that but she will be there and not Mcdonalds I was saying. But as I stated above I think she should wait anyways.
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I have 3 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Illinois
posted 14th Feb
Okay, so let me be honest. I didnt fill you guys in on the details   I do have a SO, who I have been with for almost 3 years. She just got accepted into Morgan State on a full scholarship. She too, is also working. I love her, and my son more than anything. I have this weird fantasy of us being married - me supporting her while she is in school, having dinner on the table at 5oclock every evening.   i know, it may sound weird..but Im a dreamer. I wish that this post was a piece of paper, because if it was - i would be drawing hearts and doodles all over it. She is my better half, and I am really in love. If you go back, and read some of my other posts - i have a daughter , who I gave up for adoption to my aunt. I dont see her anymore, my aunt moved all the way to Detroit. I know that I am young, and please forgive me for my irrational thoughts..but I am just so ready to be her wife, and start our family. I wish you guys could see how big my heart is, when it comes to my family. I love them, alot. Ive been having the baby blues for quite some time now...everyone is popping out babies..all of my friends :/ and then there is just me and my girl...with our one son. Lol, okay okay..yes Im a little jealous. some of my friends have 2-3 kids, and they look so happy. I guess...I just want that.
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I have 1 child & live in Sicklerville, New Jersey
posted 14th Feb
Quoting Chianna Rose.:" Okay, so let me be honest. I didnt fill you guys in on the details   I do have a SO, who I have been ... [snip!] ... Lol, okay okay..yes Im a little jealous. some of my friends have 2-3 kids, and they look so happy. I guess...I just want that."


I understand your feelings, and it's great that you are in love.

I think you two should think about waiting for your SO to be out of school, so you can both focus on family instead of one person being the breadwinner and supporting not only two kids, but also the other person in school. It's expensive to be in school, and I think you'll find if you put it off just a few years until you're both able to work and contribute to the household that you'll both be happier, and you'll be able to have that family you want.

<3 Just my two cents. Don't let your baby fever cloud being responsible-- I know it's hard, though. Love is great, but money stresses can make it very difficult.
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I'm due September 11th (a boy), have 1 child & live in Syracuse, New York
posted 14th Feb
Quoting Chianna Rose.:" Okay, so let me be honest. I didnt fill you guys in on the details   I do have a SO, who I have been ... [snip!] ... Lol, okay okay..yes Im a little jealous. some of my friends have 2-3 kids, and they look so happy. I guess...I just want that."

I still think you need to wait.
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I have 2 kids & live in Round Rock, Texas
posted 14th Feb
I woukd still wait a little longer to TTC. I know its hard but all the waiting will pay off. You're still so young and learning about life. Let things fall into place.
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I live in New York
posted 14th Feb
How many years do you guys think that we should wait? Should I wait until she's COMPLETELY done school? I really didnt want them to be too far apart though. Does 10 sound good? Or is that too far?
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I have 1 child & live in Sicklerville, New Jersey
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