I need some thoughts and opinions...
posted 13th Feb
What is the etiquette on having a baby shower for the 2nd baby? Ashton is obviously a boy... and now I'm having a girl. I have nothing for a girl. Hell I don't even have any of Ashton's stuff! Different fathers... and she is the first grand baby on that side. No one else has stepped up to throw a shower except my best friend. But I'm very hesitant. It's a mess on his side and the only reason I want to do it is to let the whole family know I want them involved in her life. It's not so much about the gifts. Buuut... His sister is very jealous I'm pregnant and I understand why. She lost her 5th baby in November and we would have been due the same time. His mom is disappointed but happy? I think it's a mixture because of what her daughter is going through and she doubts Jake's ability as a parent. She also works 2 jobs and is busy. Then there is Jake's dad and his step mom... his step mom, is different and they don't get along with Jake's mom too well. They're civil to each other, but there is a definite awkwardness in the air... Idk... I'm just ready to say smurf it all after typing all this out, dig myself a hole, and never come out.
quotesmurfs?I'm due
June 19th (a girl), have 1 child & 4 angel babies & live in
Maineposted 13th Feb
Have your best friend host one since she is willing. His sister's issues have nothing to do with you. Your baby should be celebrated.
quoteI'm TTC since February '13, have 1 child & live in
Floridaposted 13th Feb
Everyone that I know that has had more than one child, no matter the sex, has had a shower for each. And I mean everyone. I NEVER knew it was bad etiquette till I saw ladies talking about it here on BG.
quoteposted 13th Feb
Quoting Destinite:" Have your best friend host one since she is willing. His sister's issues have nothing to do with you. Your baby should be celebrated."
I just don't want to seem greedy ...
quoteI'm due
June 19th (a girl), have 1 child & 4 angel babies & live in
Maineposted 13th Feb
Quoting Killingℬird(8w):" Everyone that I know that has had more than one child, no matter the sex, has had a shower for each. ... [snip!] ... had a shower for each. And I mean everyone. I NEVER knew it was bad etiquette till I saw ladies talking about it here on BG."
I've always questioned it... I was talking to my SIL who said she has friends who had more then 2 kids and never did more then one shower. I'm just at a cross roads with my kids having different fathers and semi interested family...
quoteI'm due
June 19th (a girl), have 1 child & 4 angel babies & live in
Maineposted 13th Feb
Quoting .Twat.Waffle.:" I just don't want to seem greedy ..."
I don't think you appear greedy. You already said it wasn't about the gifts.
I would think it would appear greedy if you threw your own shower instead of having a host.
quoteI'm TTC since February '13, have 1 child & live in
Floridaposted 13th Feb
It isn't greedy though. You aren't throwing a party solely for the fact that you want presents. You want a shower because you want everyone to be together and celebrate your future baby.
quoteI'm TTC since April '13, have 1 child & live in
Illinoisposted 13th Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting .Twat.Waffle.:</b>" I just don't want to seem greedy ..."</blockquote>
Well I can't speak for everyone because I know a lot of women on here think its tacky, but personally I've never thought any of my friends were greedy for wanting a baby shower.
quoteposted 13th Feb
I don't think it's greedy either. My Mom and her cousin tried to tell me you only have a shower for your first baby. But my first was a girl and EVERYTHING I had left over from her was pink. I was not about to stick my boy in a bunch of pink frilly clothes and baby gear. Plus it was a different father than DD1 so his family wanted to be involved, and his was the first grandbaby and great grandbaby for his Mom and Grandma so his family wanted there to be a shower. So I told my Mom I still needed/wanted a shower to help with new expenses for new baby and boy stuff so I could sell the pink stuff to buy whatever I don't get at the shower for a boy. I think my cousin thought it was rude but she barely knows me so I didn't give a crap. If I was having another girl, I could see them questioning it since I already had so much left from DD1, and if it was a girl, I probably would have just seen if DH's family wanted to throw one for their side of the family being their first grandchild. If not I would have been perfectly fine with it and not expected it. Being different genders, I think it is perfectly acceptable IMO, but I know not everyone thinks so. And think that's just the "old-school" way of thinking?
quoteposted 13th Feb
We had a baby shower for our first and thats all. Not for our 2nd or this baby. It doesn't really bother me tho. My family is close by but his family lives in a different state and part of my family isn't very social with the other side. So I don't know..it was a neat experience with my first, but I'm not upset about not having one. I think it depends on the woman and the type of family and friends she has. If you really want to have one then have your friend do it. ;)
quoteposted 13th Feb
imo if it's been years since your last child, having the opposite sex than your first, or something along those lines it's okay to throw another baby shower. if you feel uncomfortable with it, just say no gifts necessary, just want to celebrate the birth of our new addition.
quoteposted 13th Feb
Quoting Lady GooGoo™:" I don't think it's greedy either. My Mom and her cousin tried to tell me you only have a shower for your ... [snip!] ... it is perfectly acceptable IMO, but I know not everyone thinks so. And think that's just the "old-school" way of thinking?"
so you've basically been in my maternity pants before so to speak...
I guess I'm just more nervous about his family and how they're going to react. I'm on good terms with all of them... but they're not all on good terms with each other.
quoteI'm due
June 19th (a girl), have 1 child & 4 angel babies & live in
Maineposted 13th Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Killingℬird(8w):</b>" Everyone that I know that has had more than one child, no matter the sex, has had a shower for each. ... [snip!] ... had a shower for each. And I mean everyone. I NEVER knew it was bad etiquette till I saw ladies talking about it here on BG."</blockquote>
That's most people I know too. U only had one for my first, my son. I had two girls after him and no shower. When I get pregnant again, I'll throw my own if need be!...lol it will be my last baby and my youngest is almost 5.
quoteI'm TTC since January '13, have 5 kids & live in
Indianaposted 13th Feb
<blockquote><b>Quoting Destinite:</b>" I don't think you appear greedy. You already said it wasn't about the gifts. I would think it would appear greedy if you threw your own shower instead of having a host. "</blockquote>
If I have to do it, it's because I want to celebrate the baby and my final pregnancy. Gifts will not be a requirement to come, though appreciated.
quoteI'm TTC since January '13, have 5 kids & live in
Indiana post reply