Life and death....please read (explanation to kids)

Our turtle laid some eggs. I wasn't sure if they were viable or not because she laid them in water and I didn't know how long ago it happened (this was yesterday). I took them out and put a lamp on them and everything and I was waiting a week to see if anything changed like color and texture and things like that. My oldest loves the turtles and I showed him and explained that they were eggs and we needed to see if baby turtles were inside but we had to wait a while (he's 5).

At night we close their bedroom door and put a gate in the hallway (it's an apt) so the kids can't get out because my youngest is 3 and autistic and will get into everything and it's just not safe but with the gate up, nathan can still use the bathroom without waking anyone up.

I woke up this morning and made coffee like I normally do and the gate was down, nathan knows how to take it down, and he was alseep on the couch. I didn't think anything of it so I went back to bed for a few minutes till SO had to get up for work. When we both got up, he noticed that the turtle tank was unplugged so the filter and light and heater was off....I have no idea how long it was off for because I don't know what time nathan went to the couch. Not only was the turtle tank off, the eggs were gone. GONE! so we woke nathan up and asked him where the eggs were and why he did that to the turtle tank and all he kept saying was "I don't want to tell you because you will be mad"....but we were already mad because he KNOWS not to do this kind of stuff.

I started yelling because I was so pissed and he just wouldn't tell me where the hell the eggs were. After about 20 minutes of him saying that he didnt want to tell us, it turns out he threw the eggs in the trash. I found them and they were all broken. I am very upset. I feel like my son is a murderer. He KNEW he wasn't supposed to do that because there were babies in them.

How do I explain to him that he isnt supposed to do things like that and that they won't come back...they are dead? How do I explain that it's a life and he KNEW he wasn't supposed to do that?

I'm at a complete loss. This child just does things he knows he isn't supposed to do just to piss me off and upset me.

He's 3, and autistic. I think you're being a little too harsh.

Kids don't comprehend death and that it's permenant until 10 years old. Thinking of him as a murderer is a little ridiculous... 

I dought they would have lived since you took them out of the water. im pretty sure your not at all supposed to move them or they will die. anyways i wouldnt say your LO is a murder hes only 5 he probly just wanted to play with them and broke them. my kids do some pretty bad things but it doesnt make them murderers or bad kids. it makes them kids. i would just tell him he was wrong for touching them and maybe ground him from something for a day or so for not telling you what he did. and touching them after you said no.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Vindictive:</b>" He's 3, and autistic. I think you're being a little too harsh."</blockquote>



 

Quoting Vindictive:" He's 3, and autistic. I think you're being a little too harsh."

I misread, we are talking about your 5 year old? I still think you're being far too harsh.

Quoting Vindictive:" He's 3, and autistic. I think you're being a little too harsh."

My 5 year old did this.

When I was young I used to take my fish out of the fish tank and then put in back in after it flopped around for a while, i think I even threw it on the floor once. I'm in no way shape or form a hateful person these days lol

Quoting S U Z I E:" Kids don't comprehend death and that it's permenant until 10 years old. Thinking of him as a murderer is a little ridiculous... "

He crushed the eggs....CRUSHED them. If he hit a kitten with a hammer or stepped on it, would you feel I was being too harsh by yelling at him? I told him what he did was wrong and he was punished for the rest of the day. I told him I still loved him and I would always love him but he knew he shouldn't have done that. At least I didn't beat the crap out of him or something.

Did he say why?

Do you only have the 1 turtle?

Quoting Elena Gilbert:" I dought they would have lived since you took them out of the water. im pretty sure your not at all supposed ... [snip!] ... them and maybe ground him from something for a day or so for not telling you what he did. and touching them after you said no."

That is what I did. I was loud when I said this because I was upset but he is grounded for the day, definitely. and you are supposed to take them out of the water because they need oxygen. I had them under a lamp with humidity.

Quoting flip off:" He crushed the eggs....CRUSHED them. If he hit a kitten with a hammer or stepped on it, would you feel ... [snip!] ... and I would always love him but he knew he shouldn't have done that. At least I didn't beat the crap out of him or something. "

A kitten =/= an egg. YOU could have killed them by removing them from the tank to begin with.

You told him there may be babies inside. He's 5, he was probably curious and impatient. Smurf happens. He's a child FFS.

Quoting flip off:" That is what I did. I was loud when I said this because I was upset but he is grounded for the day, ... [snip!] ... and you are supposed to take them out of the water because they need oxygen. I had them under a lamp with humidity. "

well they told us not to move them because it automaticlly kills it. so Im just saying you might have already done that. not to mention some turtles you have to breed for up to a year before they are fertile. and for the eggs to actually have life.

Quoting Vindictive:" Do you only have the 1 turtle?"

We have 3 turtles. He loves them and even "plays" with 2 of them because the third one is kind of a douche....this is all so confusing to me. The part that kills me is that he shut off the whole tank....the filter, the lamps, the heater. I asked him why and he said I don't know. I told him that the turtles could have been hurt because he did this.

I'm asking for advice because I need him to understand that he CANT do things like this. We have cats as well and he's great with them. But just because it's a turtle doesn't mean he can be "mean" with them