Marriage help-very long

I'll start with the basics. I do love my husband. We've been married for 4 years. We wanted to be a married couple for several years, then decide when the right time was to have a baby. Well, I got pregnant after being married one month while on bc and now we have a 3 year old. I love my family and would not trade it for anything. My husband is a very good husband and an amazing father.
I can't help but feel that DH loves me more than I love him though. He even jokingly said it (could have been serious) last night and I didn't know what to say. I never want sex, I'd rather masturbate during the weekends when he's at work. I do enjoy it when we do do it though. DH is usually all over me when we're at home. It doesn't normally bother me and if we didn't have our 3 year old, I'd probably be having sex with him as soon as I get home from work everyday but since we have to wait till we put LO to bed, I'm totally not in the mood for it anymore.
Another issue is that we never do anything as a family. We work completely opposite days so the only times we're home together as a family is monday through thursday evenings. Even when I say I want to start doing things, DH is very hesitant and of course doesn't like any idea's I come up with.
DH never does any of the "man" things around the house. (I know there shouldn't be a seperation like that but I do ALL the house cleaning on the weekends and don't mind it at all.) He does the yard work during the summer but that's it. I would love our garage to be re organized or our 4th bedroom to be organized and shelves built, etc, but I do not have time to do these things and that means it's not going to get done.

I think my main problem is that I think a strong manly man is sexy. DH used to care of things but now I do EVERYTHING, like paying bills, house up keep, looking for new cars, setting up play dates and activites for LO, etc (while also working full time 5 days a week when he works full time only 3 days a week). I want him to do something! Not just tell me how sexy I am and constantly grope me, lol. I love him so much and have no intention of divorce but I want to be able to reciprocate his feeling towards me and I don't know why I can't. Is it because of all the things I've mentioned or is there another reason? I just want him to be happy, and I want me to be happy.

Sounds like you'd just like for him to put done actions behind the words he says. Totally understandable. Have y'all considered counseling? Having an unbiased third party can really help y'all talk this out.

Quoting A is Me:" Sounds like you'd just like for him to put done actions behind the words he says. Totally understandable. ... [snip!] ... Totally understandable. Have y'all considered counseling? Having an unbiased third party can really help y'all talk this out."

I think counseling would help us. I just feel like we could try other things before it comes to that though.

I'm gonna start with, have you seriously sat down and spoke with him about your expectations from him? Joking around isn't going to cut it. You need nothing else going on in the room but the two of you focused on each other -talking.
As far as family things to do, both of you come up with a list of 5 things to do together and then allow the other person to cross off 3 of them. Put the other 4 left into a hat and draw one out and get around to doing them all. -great way to do what you both want as a family.
As far as the sex after LO's bed time, I know how that can effect a relationship. What about while he's putting LO to bed you go get all ready and sexy for him and then you will surely be in the mood again -the clean up parents do after a child's asleep will wait til the sexing is over ;) If your drive is down then watch anything from a romantic movie to fav tv show to porn together to wind down. The main thing to start with is talk first and set the bar -not too high at first, but a gradual change. Then every couple weeks talk about where the progress is going and what else you can do to make it better.

Quoting Mommy*Allie*:" I'm gonna start with, have you seriously sat down and spoke with him about your expectations from him? ... [snip!] ... a gradual change. Then every couple weeks talk about where the progress is going and what else you can do to make it better. "

Thank you so much, that gives me some ideas and things to think about  

I'm late but better late then never, right?

I HIGHLY suggest you watch the movie "Fireproof". It might still be "On Demand" if you have Comcast. Then buy the book "The Love Dare". The book is a 40 day challenge to help you understand love, how your actions affect your marriage and help you rekindle the love for your partner. Its an eye opener. It does have religious basis but you can ignore that and just concentrate on the "meat" of the book if you dont believe in God.