re: Am I over reacting?

Quoting κατι:" Every man looks at porn well most, It's natural. If they say they don't or never have well that's a ... [snip!] ... a lie. I don't have a problem with my SO watching it either as long as it isn't affecting our sex life I could care less.  "

I don't believe that, it's like saying all women watch porn. Some do, some don't. I'm sure there are men out there who have no desire to watch porn and it's not fair to say they are lying because you are lumping all men into a general cast. Porn is a personal preference, not an unavoidable fact of life.

Quoting 3 little monsters:" I don't believe that, it's like saying all women watch porn. Some do, some don't. I'm sure there are ... [snip!] ... are lying because you are lumping all men into a general cast. Porn is a personal preference, not an unavoidable fact of life. "

I said most do,not all.... That goes with the lying too.

Quoting κατι:" I said most do,not all.... That goes with the lying too."

Okay I'll give you that but it seems kinda smurffy that if a guy said "I don't watch porn" you would assume he is lying rather than believe him.

It would bother me....because you two are together now.



My so has had threesomes but before he met me so idc.

Quoting 3 little monsters:" Okay I'll give you that but it seems kinda smurffy that if a guy said "I don't watch porn" you would assume he is lying rather than believe him. "

Alot (not all) of guys will lie about it,but I don't have that problem with my SO. We watch it together sometimes now that's fun.  

Quoting κατι:" Alot (not all) of guys will lie about it,but I don't have that problem with my SO. We watch it together sometimes now that's fun.  "

Yeah but what I'm saying is why not take it at face value until you know otherwise you know? I'd really hate it if guys were like "Every woman or at least most of them nag constantly and if they say they don't they are lying.". I would prefer innocent until proven guilty not the other way around. I might be skeptical but I'd at least give it a chance. The "most at least" tacked on to the end is canceled out when you say they must be lying if they say otherwise.

Quoting Brooke&Joshua+2.5:" A while back SO and I were watching a movie, no idea what it was now but the topic of either a 3-some ... [snip!] ... still hurt you know. I'm just so overly emotional right now and he's gonna be home anytime now from work and getting dinner."

ALL guys want threesomes. It's just a fantasy sweetie he knows the chances are SLIM TO NONE! If he's smart he wouldn't actually do it because you never bring people into a relationship, especially a family. I know you're emotions are crazy but just remember that he wouldn't be with you if he didn't want to be. So something is keeping him there for sure just gain some confidence, if he has a problem with what your body had to go through to bring his kids into the world then he's not a man. He's a dog.

Quoting and then there were 3.:" Different strokes for different folks. If me and DH was watching sexy people doing the dirty right in ... [snip!] ... probably hear a few choice words. Not EVERY man is a sex hound, not every person likes porn or is comfortable with it. KWIM?"

Yes I completely understand. I am so thankful for porn because if it wasn't there we would have an overwhelming amount of sex, and I don't have time for all of that. haha. But my ex never wanted sex and shamed me for watching it, so I have been on that side of the fence too.

Quoting κατι:" Every man looks at porn well most, It's natural. If they say they don't or never have well that's a ... [snip!] ... a lie. I don't have a problem with my SO watching it either as long as it isn't affecting our sex life I could care less.  "

Agreed, if it came to the point where it was excessive or they stopped having sex because of it. But that is extreme, and I have never had it happen to me.

Id be hurt. It never be like drooling over some dude in front of my so. We aldo dont do porn in our relationship. Im not ok with it. Different strokes for different folks.

<blockquote><b>Quoting [JadeLee]:</b>" Yes I completely understand. I am so thankful for porn because if it wasn't there we would have an overwhelming ... [snip!] ... for all of that. haha. But my ex never wanted sex and shamed me for watching it, so I have been on that side of the fence too."</blockquote>




Really?? Id choose sex over porn anyday.

Our sex life has been horrible lately. Well not really just lately but since we had our first LO in '09 I haven't been really comfortable getting naked for sex or having sex in the day time or with a light on. I just feel super gross. I mean obviously we've had sex cause we had LO #2 and now are pregnant with LO #3 but he's always complaining about it, not doing it enough. He always brings up the fact that we use to have sex like 4 or 5 times a day when we were younger but its like we were 16 and 17 and only saw each other on the weekends cause we were long distance. Now we're 20 and 21 have 2 kids and I'm pregnant with #3 and always feeling super gross and nauseous.

Even saying its horrible is to me an over exageration. Since we found out about baby 3 our sex lifes gone up drasticly to atleast once a week somtimes twice and he's still all bummed about it. He'll be like putting moves on me and I'll just be tired and say babe we just had sex the day before yesterday I'm tired and wanna sleep. Is that wrong of me? I mean I spend all day with a 3yr old and a 1yr old, I'm 12wks pregnant and I'm the one who gets up with the kids at night because our boys are stubborn and don't wanna sleep all night every night.

I don't know and when we do have sex its not even really cause I'm "in the mood" its just cause SO wants it and we haven't had it in a while so I just give in. I mean yeah I have "fun" but it always takes so long to actually get my body in the mood.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Brooke&Joshua+2.5:</b>" Our sex life has been horrible lately. Well not really just lately but since we had our first LO in '09 ... [snip!] ... had it in a while so I just give in. I mean yeah I have "fun" but it always takes so long to actually get my body in the mood."</blockquote>




Personally thats way to little for me. I have three kids and have sex at least five times per week. Id be angry if my so only wanted me four time a month. I dont blame him for the porn or whatever in that instance. Getting off is a rekease. Its nice. Id be banging myself if he wouldnt :/

<blockquote><b>Quoting Loveislouder:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brooke&Joshua+2.5:</b>" Our sex life has been horrible lately. ... [snip!] ... blame him for the porn or whatever in that instance. Getting off is a rekease. Its nice. Id be banging myself if he wouldnt :/"</blockquote>




This! I have three children, 5 & under. DH works a lot so I'm the one taking care of the kids all the time. I'm also the one who usually is lacking sleep but we still have a very healthy & active sex life.

It's hard for me to feel sympathy for people who pull the 'I hate my body' card for an excuse to not want sex. If you are that unhappy with your body, do something to change it!! Your partner should not have to suffer because you are too uncomfortable to get naked. How would you feel if your partner never should interest in you or he acted like it was a chore to get interested in having sex with you? Your personal hang ups can make him feel inadequate & that's not fair in a relationship.

There was a long period where I hated my body & although it didn't really affect our sex life, it affected my confidence. I decided to stop whining about it & made some lifestyle changes. I'm down 45 lbs & My confidence is slowly returning, which in turn has spiced our sex life up a ton.

I personally don't think theres anything wrong with not having sex every single night of the week. I'm tired, I have two kids who I spend all day with that don't sleep all night, last night our youngest got up (no joke) atleast 10 times and SO didn't even make an effort to help me. Our oldest got up once and climbed in bed next to me and I was so tired I just made him a little bed on the floor next to my side and then was up on and off from midnight till 5:30 when he woke up for good and again SO didn't help or even attempt to help me. I'm 12wks pregnant and I'm always nauseous and have drastically been way more sick this pregnancy then my past pregnancies put together. Its also making me super tired and depressed so I really don't want to do anything ever or go anywhere. All I do all day is spend time with my kids and clean up. SO never helps with anything. Even simple things like putting his own dirty clothes in the hamper so I wash them. At 9 at night he'll ask if he has clean work clothes and I'll say I don't know did you put them in the hamper, if you did then they're in the dryer. He'll get up and go check and then bitch because they're not so I'll have to stay up and wait for the washer to finish and put them in the dryer before I can fall asleep so they'll be done for when he gets up.

All of this daily stuff just adds up and takes a lot out of me and the fact of how SO has been lately with not helping me what so ever makes me not want to have sex with him. Is it really all my fault for not having a sex drive because I'm completly exhausted? I really just find myself overly stressed lately with everything I have to do and how I get no help. Only thing SO has helped me with is putting our youngest in his crib at night because he's roughly 35lbs and I can't pick him up that high because I cracked a rib and it hasn't fully healed so I'm still in a lot of pain when I move too much or pick up heavy things.