re: For stay-at-home moms - WWYD?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Elliot Grace's Mama:</b>" haha ugh, i know. i still have to get my masters or i will really be making NADA"</blockquote>




Definitely not a field one goes into to make millions. My salary wouldn't even cover daycare, so I've just been picking up the odd contract or training facil position here and there since having kids. Definitely planning on going back to school once the kids are in school too. I just have an SSW, which pretty much sets you up for nothing but frontline and naturally frontline workers are often the ones stuck making chump change and putting in unpaid hours on a regular basis. Good luck with your masters! That should make a huge difference in earning potential.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I asked this question because I was curious to see if anyone would state directly (or in a round about way) that staying at home is a woman's duty. "</blockquote>


I don't see what's wrong with that.

Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I asked this question because I was curious to see ... [snip!] ... (or in a round about way) that staying at home is a woman's duty. "</blockquote> I don't see what's wrong with that."

Well that does not surprise me because you said you believe in traditional family roles. I completely disagree and think this attitude is harmful to women, but... whatever floats your boat.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Well that does not surprise me because you said you believe in traditional family roles. I completely disagree and think this attitude is harmful to women, but... whatever floats your boat. "</blockquote>



I think believing it's harmful to women is more harmful.

I don't see how what makes me happy to do with my life harms anyone else.

Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" Well that does not surprise me because you said ... [snip!] ... believing it's harmful to women is more harmful. I don't see how what makes me happy to do with my life harms anyone else."

I wasn't saying that doing what makes you happy is harmful. By all means, do that.

I was saying that this idea/attitude that women are supposed to stay at home and rear children, and that's the only thing women should be doing, is harmful.

I would have to think about it. I would talk to him and be loving and supportive. But I feel that knowing both of us.. he wouldn't clean, he wouldn't do what a stay at home parent is supposed to do. Lol he's not a clean guy. I clean, homeschool my son and do things a certain way that our best for our children. I believe in my house.. him working and providing and me working with our children and on the house is what's best.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I wasn't saying that doing what makes you happy is harmful. By all means, do that. I was saying that ... [snip!] ... that women are supposed to stay at home and rear children, and that's the only thing women should be doing, is harmful. "</blockquote>



And I don't believe I ever said that.

Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" Nope. That's one of the first things that comes up when I'm dating. I want to stay home and homeschool ... [snip!] ... my partner a LOT if I had to work and he got to stay home. I like more traditional family roles. I couldn't make that work."

I defanitly lean this way too.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I asked this question because I was curious to see if anyone would state directly (or in a round about way) that staying at home is a woman's duty. "</blockquote>




Yeah, that's definitely not a position I agree with, or how I plan on raising my kids personally. BUT in defense of those that do believe in more "traditional" roles, it is still a valid personal choice. Feminism is about choice, and I respect other women's choice to strive to be a homemaker. It's sort of like my feelings about my daughter having a barbie, she's exposed to so many different views of what it means to be a woman, it's not a big deal if she sees the barbie brand of femininity as just another option. It starts to become a problem when it's the default, when that's all we're taught we can be. But if you genuinely understand you are an equal human being, and know your potential, and then decide to stick with more traditional gender roles that is totally your decision. If anything all the replies in this thread just made me sad that so many women (myself included) DO believe our partners are equal parents and DO believe that we'd be happy working, but can't because women have such massive income disparity and get trapped in "pink ghetto" fields that we simply can't afford it. That's robbing us of choice and pisses me off a whole lot more than women who are SAHMs for more traditional reasons.

Quoting SophieKay:" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I asked this question because I was curious to see ... [snip!] ... it. That's robbing us of choice and pisses me off a whole lot more than women who are SAHMs for more traditional reasons."

I really appreciate this response! You make some great points.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I really appreciate this response! You make some great points. "</blockquote>




Thanks   feminism and parenting have a really interesting relationship. I actually just had a really similar talk last night. Someone bought my daughter a "cowboys and Indians" game that I was really uncomfortable with, and someone said something along the lines of "well, if you let her play with barbies how is this any different?". I said basically the exact same thing, if she has a barbie doll along with having a feminist mother, and tons of activist, radical, gender non-conforming family friends (and everything in between) around her I have faith that she's seeing balanced sides of femininity. I can't just invalidate the pink and sparkly side of femininity because it's not for me, it's still an option. Whereas with the cowboys and Indians game, well, genocide and cultural appropriation are never really "just fun stuff!" the same way heels and make-up are, ya know?

Anyways, my mind was definitely already on topic! It's all a balance, and all about informed choice.

Only if I could make what he makes or better.

When I'm done with school and teaching, he will likely take on the role of SAHD.

Not a SAHM, but even if I was, I wouldn't be okay with it. Especially if I was pregnant and/or breastfeeding and he made more money.

I would LOVE to go back to work. But my DH makes $28 an hour and I have no degree, have only worked in the military for 7 years and a daycare for 1 year, and would have a snowball chance in hell of me making even close to that.

Yes, but only if I could make close to what he makes in a year. But since I do not have a degree and my only experience is in retail those chances are slim.