Telling family?

I don't know where to post this topic.
My sister had her baby at my age (19, nearly 20)
and mom and her boyfriend were excited even supportive.
Now, I KNOW they won't be the same with me, especially if they knew it was planned.. twisted right?...god forbid I WANT a baby.

every time i think about telling my family, i hear moms boyfriend saying
"well here comes another eff up in your family, debbie"
my mom saying " what the hell are you thinking."
and my all wise sister saying i'm crazy and i'm throwing away my life.

should i wait till i AM pregnant to tell them, i don't live with them, hell they barely want to be in my life.
but they are still my family.. any tips on how to go about it?
and how to deal if they do blow up?

Well, if you know you're in a good spot in your life and are ready to begin your family, then try not to worry about what they say. I know sometimes it's easier said than done. But don't let it bother you if those are some of the things they really do say, because you know it's not true, kwim?

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Well, if you know you're in a good spot in your life and are ready to begin your family, then try not ... [snip!] ... done. But don't let it bother you if those are some of the things they really do say, because you know it's not true, kwim?"

 
All that matters is what you think because this is about you, your family and what you want. Not about them. If I was you and they blew up I would just leave.

How are you in the "perfect spot" to have a baby?

If the people who know you best don't believe you are ready, you may want to rethink things.

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" How are you in the "perfect spot" to have a baby? If the people who know you best don't believe you are ready, you may want to rethink things."

Like I said before, they don't involve me in their lives.
Last time they all saw me I wasn't in the best spot.
I haven't gotten a call from my mother in like.. five months now.
had maybe a few face book messages, nothing long though :/
they are all the kind of people to assume the worst in others.
:/


every child in my family has been accidental.
and at bad times, I assume there opinions were warped.

Quoting Let the rain fall:"   All that matters is what you think because this is about you, your family and what you want. Not about them. If I was you and they blew up I would just leave."

I don't know how i will react if they blow up.
but like i said they are my family, and i want them involved in a positive way.
i don't want my baby growing up finding out it wasn't wanted by the rest of the family.

Quoting MilaaMischief:" Like I said before, they don't involve me in their lives. Last time they all saw me I wasn't in the ... [snip!] ... worst in others. :/ every child in my family has been accidental. and at bad times, I assume there opinions were warped. "

You have a steady and stable job that you can afford to raise a child on?
You have a stable and committed relationship?
You have finished high school and college?
You have savings and an emergency fund?
You have a safe home that is large enough for a child?

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" You have a steady and stable job that you can afford to raise a child on? You have a stable and committed ... [snip!] ... high school and college? You have savings and an emergency fund? You have a safe home that is large enough for a child?"

again?...
Yes to all of those.
I don't even want to get into it.
I know what im doing, i have the money, i have a job i have an amazing boyfriend, we have stuff saved up and continuing to add, not even pregnant yet and we already started on the baby room.
im not sixteen, and im not an idiot.

I hope you don't take this in the wrong way.
but i'm sick of people doubting me.
and asking me this stuff, i hear it enough from my doctor, and i'm going to hear it enough from every one else in my life who will find out.

Quoting MilaaMischief:" again?... Yes to all of those. I don't even want to get into it. I know what im doing, i have the ... [snip!] ... this stuff, i hear it enough from my doctor, and i'm going to hear it enough from every one else in my life who will find out. "

Okay, so your doctor, family and friends are all telling you to re-think your decision....you don't see that as being a red flag?

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" Okay, so your doctor, family and friends are all telling you to re-think your decision....you don't see that as being a red flag?"

My doctor automatically ASKED if i was TTC, i said yes and he asked general questions if i am ready for it. THAT is all.
Me and my family haven;t even talked about it yet! so their opinion isn't even stated!
FFS.
you like putting words in peoples mouths.

Quoting MilaaMischief:" My doctor automatically ASKED if i was TTC, i said yes and he asked general questions if i am ready ... [snip!] ... family haven;t even talked about it yet! so their opinion isn't even stated! FFS. you like putting words in peoples mouths. "

"i'm sick of people doubting me and asking me this stuff, i hear it enough from my doctor, and i'm going to hear it enough from every one else in my life who will find out" --> Quoting your post above.

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" "i'm sick of people doubting me and asking me this stuff, i hear it enough from my doctor, and i'm going ... [snip!] ... my doctor, and i'm going to hear it enough from every one else in my life who will find out" --> Quoting your post above."

asking if im stable and ready and hwta i have and dont have.
Not that i should rethink what i am doing.
Thats alll you.

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" "i'm sick of people doubting me and asking me this stuff, i hear it enough from my doctor, and i'm going ... [snip!] ... my doctor, and i'm going to hear it enough from every one else in my life who will find out" --> Quoting your post above."

I am done here, I'm not about to let a stranger try to convince me that the choice i have made is wrong.

From what you've said about your family I would completely ignore their opinion here. If they can only manage to call and see how you are doing once every 5 months then they have no idea if you are ready for a baby or not. If you have a stable relationship, and financial situation, and feel emotionally ready for everything good and bad that a baby brings, then do what you think is best. Like you said, you're not 16. You are a legal adult. Do what works for you.

Quoting MilaaMischief:" asking if im stable and ready and hwta i have and dont have. Not that i should rethink what i am doing. Thats alll you. "

Well, good luck with things.

I would really think about things in the long term before you go through with this.

Being a "cashier" isn't exactly a career with a lot of growth.

Why not wait until after you finish college or university? Why not wait until you have a better job?