re: gone

Honestly I'd dig around and find more proof.
Act like nothing is going on and creep his smurf hardcore.
Even if that means arriving to get him early and parking down the street so you can watch him, without him knowing you're there yet.

Quoting Ole' No Name:" Honestly I'd dig around and find more proof. Act like nothing is going on and creep his smurf hardcore. ... [snip!] ... if that means arriving to get him early and parking down the street so you can watch him, without him knowing you're there yet."

That's kind of creepy......

If she does that and he's doing nothing wrong but he catches her, then it's all going to be reversed and her relationship is in jeopardy from that. I'd just ask him about it, not be a creeper stalker. I don't know HOW I'd bring it up, but I would think of a way.

Quoting Ole' No Name:" Honestly I'd dig around and find more proof. Act like nothing is going on and creep his smurf hardcore. ... [snip!] ... if that means arriving to get him early and parking down the street so you can watch him, without him knowing you're there yet."

It's smurfed up to say but I thought about this.
But i have never been that type of girl and I don't really want to start now.
I just want to address it without pissing him off. Somehow. Is that even possible?! Should I even care if he gets pissed off?

I would keep a eye out on his behavior for a few days,before snooping. If he is cheating he will start acting really paranoid.

<blockquote><b>Quoting VeggieBurglar:</b>" It's smurfed up to say but I thought about this. But i have never been that type of girl and I don't ... [snip!] ... I just want to address it without pissing him off. Somehow. Is that even possible?! Should I even care if he gets pissed off?"</blockquote>




Always trust your instincts. Always. Just explain to him that something feelings off. That the way he was acting when you picked him up wasn't how he normally is & you are worried. Maybe if you go about it that way, calmly of course, then you can ease into it & say something along the lines of..."You didn't look to happy when you got out of the truck, did Sara (was that her name?) make you upset or something?" That way it doesn't seem like you are automatically accusing him. And the way he reacts to that question will determine if there is more to it. KWIM?

Quoting VeggieBurglar:" It's smurfed up to say but I thought about this. But i have never been that type of girl and I don't ... [snip!] ... I just want to address it without pissing him off. Somehow. Is that even possible?! Should I even care if he gets pissed off?"

I think it depends on what kind of relationship you have, backgrounds from both of you, etc.

When DH and I first got married, one of his ex's popped up from WAY back. I wasn't worried about it at first, but I got that "gut feeling". Checked his texts, some were erased and it was EXTREMELY apparent, and there were a few that were flirty. Nearly 4 years later and ALOT of problems later, this is one he still won't fess up to, and one I still feel strongly about.

There are other things I was quiet about before I had a decent amount of proof, and caught him doing things that weren't appropriate.

Don't know which one is better- and I think it depends on your thoughts and morals as well.

If you feel it would be wrong to do so, don't. If you think it's only right to ask right away, do it. It's a really difficult decision to make, but you also have to think about it like this- if he WAS doing something, would you be able to forgive him, or attempt to get over it? Would you be able to in one circumstance and not the other? Yada yada yada

Please keep in mind, I'm heavily biased in this area   DH and I have gone through ALOT of shady crap, but are still working on it- some regrets, some not.

If you want to talk, message me or anything. Definitely not a good situation to go through alone, and not one that's fun to have friends pushing you one way or the other!

Quoting ♥ colton's mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting VeggieBurglar:</b>" It's smurfed up to say but I thought about ... [snip!] ... like you are automatically accusing him. And the way he reacts to that question will determine if there is more to it. KWIM?"

This is along the lines of what I was thinking.
He works this morning. Should I ask him about it on the way? Or should I wait until this evening?

<blockquote><b>Quoting VeggieBurglar:</b>" This is along the lines of what I was thinking. He works this morning. Should I ask him about it on the way? Or should I wait until this evening?"</blockquote>




It may be better to wait until he gets off of work so that you two have more time to talk about it, without being interupted by having to drop him off. Also, if you do it that way...he won't be stressed out all day by the topic & it will probably go more smoothly than if he thought about it all day & he was in a bad mood when he got home.

Quoting Bunny Belly:" I think it depends on what kind of relationship you have, backgrounds from both of you, etc. When ... [snip!] ... be able to forgive him, or attempt to get over it? Would you be able to in one circumstance and not the other? Yada yada yada"

yeah, i see what you're saying.
i don't think i can be with a person who i can't trust 100% and my thought has always been that you're either the type of person that will cheat, or you aren't. i want to be with someone who falls into the latter category, you know?
but i do have the little one to think about.
ah. i'm getting ahead of myself.

Quoting Bunny Belly:" Please keep in mind, I'm heavily biased in this area   DH and I have gone through ALOT of shady crap, ... [snip!] ... Definitely not a good situation to go through alone, and not one that's fun to have friends pushing you one way or the other!"

thank you mama. i might just take you up on that, depending on how things go.
and as far as the friend thing goes, i totally agree. the thing is, i am GOOD friends with 80% of the people who work there because i worked there too, for like 6 years. i like to think someone would tell me, you know? BUT there have been other instances where couples who worked there were cheating with other people who worked there and nobody gave anyone else heads up. Soooo yeah. i don't even know!

Quoting VeggieBurglar:" thank you mama. i might just take you up on that, depending on how things go. and as far as the friend ... [snip!] ... there were cheating with other people who worked there and nobody gave anyone else heads up. Soooo yeah. i don't even know!"

I think it's hard for EVERYBODY- just because it feels like you're doing wrong to one person or the other getting involved.

Hopefully it's nothing, or the problem is something completely different that you can get over, at the very least!

Quoting VeggieBurglar:" thank you mama. i might just take you up on that, depending on how things go. and as far as the friend ... [snip!] ... there were cheating with other people who worked there and nobody gave anyone else heads up. Soooo yeah. i don't even know!"

i deinately agree w/talking it out w/o being accusing. O ne of my good friends was in a similar situation and it turned out that he DH started taking ''pills''.....the women he'd meet w/was his supplier (no sexual activity was going on at all) but all the secrecy almost ruined the marriage.

Okay, so....
I talked to him about it last night and I am confident that I was completely mistaken.
He said that they were smoking together, and he didn't notice that I'd pulled up, so he jumped out of the car and ran inside to grab me a soda (which he brought out). He said Sara hopped out of her truck and was going to ask me if I wanted to hit the blunt she rolled, but he turned around and quickly told her no, the baby was in the car and I rarely smoke anymore. So she left.
Makes perfect sense. He was admittedly hurt that I thought he would do that to me, which I understand.
For the first time in my life, I am so glad my instincts were dead wrong.

Quoting VeggieBurglar:" Okay, so.... I talked to him about it last night and I am confident that I was completely mistaken. ... [snip!] ... thought he would do that to me, which I understand. For the first time in my life, I am so glad my instincts were dead wrong."

Yay for communication!