re: Getting weird about feelings

This all seems like too much work for a smurf buddy, if that's what you really want.

When I wanted sex, I had sex. There was no cuddling or sleep overs, or anything remotely intimate. Just smurfing.

And when I saw them in public I would either wave or act like I didn't know them, lol.

Quoting 624582:" This all seems like too much work for a smurf buddy, if that's what you really want. When I wanted sex, ... [snip!] ... remotely intimate. Just smurfing. And when I saw them in public I would either wave or act like I didn't know them, lol."

We're friends though too. Have been for years. I like intimate. I can't just have sex with random dudes, there has to be some sort of connection there, and with him we can hang out and eat, and watching stupid tv, or we can smurf, and it's not weird.

Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:" Honestly, I just got out of a really smurffy relationship where we were together for almost 5 years, ... [snip!] ... and I don't want more than that. I like cuddling and kissing, I'm an intimate person. There's no romancey feelings with D. "

What it seems like to me

You haven't gotten over what happened to your ex. You feel a void where he used to be, that GUY is replacing. But because it's not your ex, it's never enough for you. BUT when he comes off as rejecting, it hurts you like it's your ex hurting you.

You're setting yourself up for problems.

Quoting Red Bottom:" What it seems like to me You haven't gotten over what happened to your ex. You feel a void where he ... [snip!] ... BUT when he comes off as rejecting, it hurts you like it's your ex hurting you. You're setting yourself up for problems. "

It doesn't hurt me though, because he's not rejecting. He just keeps bringing up feelings, and how he doesn't want a relationship. I don't want a relationship, and yes I do feel a void. When you're living with someone one day, and then they're not even allowed to talk to you the next, it makes it hard to get closure.

Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:" It doesn't hurt me though, because he's not rejecting. He just keeps bringing up feelings, and how he ... [snip!] ... living with someone one day, and then they're not even allowed to talk to you the next, it makes it hard to get closure. "

If you have a restraining order, there's obviously something that happened that should give you more than enough closure.

You made this entire thread about how he acts weird, talks weird, blah blah blah. You're the one focused on feelings and reading into things. How you're not seeing this makes no sense to me.

Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:" We're friends though too. Have been for years. I like intimate. I can't just have sex with random dudes, ... [snip!] ... sort of connection there, and with him we can hang out and eat, and watching stupid tv, or we can smurf, and it's not weird."

Well that is where I differ. I had sex with a close friend with it in mind that is was just going to be sex, he expected more since we had a history/friendship. I felt like it would be okay with continuing our friendship as normal, but it wasn't. I mean it was 'okay' for me, but not him.

Sex changes smurf obviously. What used to normal things, like hanging out and going to movies became awkward. Mainly because I knew he wanted more.

I mean have those things become awkward? If not, I don't see the issue.

Quoting Red Bottom:" If you have a restraining order, there's obviously something that happened that should give you more ... [snip!] ... blah blah blah. You're the one focused on feelings and reading into things. How you're not seeing this makes no sense to me. "

I'm not focused on the feelings. He is, every time we hang out he brings it up. Telling me he wants to give me more but he can't do it. I told him that's fine. I'm not ready to hop into anything. Right now we hang out a few times a week, we text daily, and we have fun. He's someone I feel comfortable around, and can tell him when we spoon my ass gets sweaty and I'm not embarrassed. I can shovel down food in front of him and make stupid faces and he laughs at my lame jokes. We do the same things my best friend and I do, minus the cuddling and the kissing. Except I've seen my best friends vagina and I'm going to be there for her delivery.
I like that we're friends and can have fun, and then he can smurf me. Right now, I can't handle more than that. I don't want a boyfriend.

Quoting 624582:" Well that is where I differ. I had sex with a close friend with it in mind that is was just going to ... [snip!] ... became awkward. Mainly because I knew he wanted more. I mean have those things become awkward? If not, I don't see the issue."

Not at all. We have a movie night planned tomorrow night with a bottle of tequila and some bread pudding. After he puts his daughter to bed, he'll come over and hang out, spend the night because I'm not going to let him drive home drunk, and then he'll go home in the morning.

Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:" Not at all. We have a movie night planned tomorrow night with a bottle of tequila and some bread pudding. ... [snip!] ... over and hang out, spend the night because I'm not going to let him drive home drunk, and then he'll go home in the morning. "

So who's going to be watching his daughter?

SO and I met and we're on strictly "no feelings" terms. He was hot, I'm amom.. well he was just like your dude sounds for like 4 months, in lobe with the V.. and then he just ccouldn't stay away lol he, well we fell in love. But uh some guys are just in it for the sex.. love just happened foe us, its not always ment to be. If you're getting feelings and he's being stand offish I'd say bye.

Quoting Red Bottom:" So who's going to be watching his daughter?"

He just had to move back in with his parents. He always leaves before she gets up, because he hates not being there when she wakes up.