Quoting 3 little monsters:" It's not about loving a man more than the person you slept with. It's about the one who has been there ... [snip!] ... Maybe she wants to shut him out, maybe she doesn't, she didn't say, all she said was she wanted her husband to adopt her son. "
You made so many excellent points. One of them being an isse we face. My MIL wants to take all her kids and grandkids (being there are only 2 currently... including the one I'm pregnant with) and we can't get my son a passport. I have NO clue how to even get ahold of the deadbeat, and even if I did, he wouldn't sign off on it (he has said so in the past). That means, we can't take my son. Which means I won't go either, so neither will my husband etc. I should be able to take my son on a vacation, but can't without his permission... and I have NO way of getting that. My husband also wants 1) for him to have the name legally that he thinks he has (he just assumed when my name changed, so did his... "we all got married" he says) and 2) given he is special needs, my husband would like to put him on his insurance as he is a gov't employee... so his is REALLY good.
There are so many issues. Honestly, I do want to shut him out... mostly because he has drug abuse and anger issues. I don't want him to hurt my son. It has nothing to do with "I am with someone new and want to piss you off".... if that were the case I wouldn't be trying my damnedest to keep his nosey ass from finding out I'm pregnant. I simply want the best for my son, and until he can prove he has dealt with his anger issues AND his drug issues, I simply won't allow him around my son. That is why there is a restraining order. He currently has "rights"... as in 1 hour every month of supervised visitation AFTER a mandatory parenting class and he has to pay $500 for the supervision service. Not once has he ever attempted to use it. At first it broke my heart, but as I got older and wiser I realized it was for the best. My son doesn't need to know that his real daddy doesn't love him, instead he knows that his DADDY loves him and his mommy.
Sorry.... didn't mean to go on and on...