re: THAT SON OF A BITCH! VENT

Quoting Mama J♡:" depends on the state you live in."

I'm in the same state as her, that's why I asked.

T him<blockquote><b>Quoting Lady GooGoo™:</b>" How can you put him in jail after 120 days? DD1's Dad has gone over 2 years without paying and they never put him in jail."</blockquote>




They can't put him in jail untill he is served with papers for a court date. Then they can issue a warrant for failure to appear. If he does show up,which it sounds he wouldnt,he will either have to pay a certain amount or go to jail untill it is payed and/or sometime serve up to 18months.

You can have his rights stripped under abandonment. Most states have it between 6 months to 18 months. You can petition the courts for step parent adoption at the same hearing. It usually goes that way since judges rarely want to sever ties completely unless someone else is stepping in. I'd hire a family lawyer to take care of it all. Good luck!

Quoting Mother of One plus One:" T him<blockquote><b>Quoting Lady GooGoo™:</b>" How can you put him in jail after ... [snip!] ... he wouldnt,he will either have to pay a certain amount or go to jail untill it is payed and/or sometime serve up to 18months."

So after 120 days I need to contact Attorney General? My BD I think would appear. But he's appeared before and it didn't make him pay anything until a year later, and he paid for 2 months and quit or lost his job, and told me he's working somewhere else being paid under the table and stopped paying CS for the last month and a half.

Yea<blockquote><b>Quoting Lady GooGoo™:</b>" So after 120 days I need to contact Attorney General? My BD I think would appear. But he's appeared ... [snip!] ... job, and told me he's working somewhere else being paid under the table and stopped paying CS for the last month and a half."</blockquote>




I mean,every state is different. But yeah,I would say contact them if he is not paying I would call every week to tell them he wasn't. They will eventually get tired of you calling if they don't want to do anything,lol.

My SO's brother doesn't pay his CS (its a long story why he doesn't but its not because he is a dead beat).

Once they go so long without paying it (I guess 120 days) they can then issue a new court date for him to appear and he SHOULD either have to pay some money or go to jail. Once he is served the papers (has to be directly him) then he should show up for court. If he doesn't show then they issue a bench warrant for him for failure to appear and they can make him stay in jail for up to 18 months for his CS.


So's brother went and he had to either pay like....3,000 dollars or his baby's mama had to go sign off that he payed it to her through other ways than the CS. Which he did but not the whole 3,000.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lady GooGoo™:</b>" So after 120 days I need to contact Attorney General? My BD I think would appear. But he's appeared ... [snip!] ... job, and told me he's working somewhere else being paid under the table and stopped paying CS for the last month and a half."</blockquote>

You call the OAG every 30 days without payment. After the 4rh time they serve him papers for court, failure to appear equals warrant. My ex is in SC and he has had no contact. In order to strip rights I have to serve him... It took me 3 years to serve him for divorce because he kept running and hiding... Piece of smurf. Ugh. We have talked with lawyers to petition the court... But nothing yet

Quoting S*its & giggles:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Squid Kid:</b>" While I understand your frustration, it still ... [snip!] ... being blood doesn't mean a damn thing when you have nothing to do with your child so if the husband wants to adopt him oh well."

You can't just go around naming people the father of your child just because you love them more than the person you slept with. That's the kid's decision.

Being blood doesn't mean smurf, no. But the kid's also only 5, he has time to grow the smurf up and want to be a dad and if he ever does, he shouldn't have to have given his rights to some other man because it's what she wants.

Does that mean he's qualified to be a dad? No. But he still is, by blood, the child's father and until the kid decides that their father is a do nothing ass, he has the chance to try to not be.



ETA:

Anyway. I'm not defending an smurf father. It just irritates me when people try to make a new man legally adopt their kid as the "new" dad rather than just strip the original father of their rights. It happened to my brother and didn't turn out well for him. So it's more of a personal opinion from experience.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Squid Kid:</b>" You can't just go around naming people the father of your child just because you love them more than ... [snip!] ... their rights. It happened to my brother and didn't turn out well for him. So it's more of a personal opinion from experience."</blockquote>




I can understand where you are coming from but 1) the court will not strip HO rights without a replacement. Texas will not legally "bastardize" a child according to every lawyer I have talked to 2) my husband WANTS desperatley to be his legal father 3) my son only knows my husband as daddy
AND 4) he shook my son causing brain damage and learning delays, hasn't helped at for the medical bills, left us homeless with NO money. As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't deserve any rights and should rot in hell for the way he treated my son... And me for that matter

Quoting *Mega Mom*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Squid Kid:</b>" You can't just go around naming people the father ... [snip!] ... as I'm concerned, he doesn't deserve any rights and should rot in hell for the way he treated my son... And me for that matter"

I totally agree with your decision. Did he face any jail time for what he did to you and your son?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" I totally agree with your decision. Did he face any jail time for what he did to you and your son? "</blockquote>


Unfortunately no. He skipped the state and there was only "circumstantial" evidence of him doing it so the police didn't do anything

Quoting *Mega Mom*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" I totally agree with your decision. Did ... [snip!] ... no. He skipped the state and there was only "circumstantial" evidence of him doing it so the police didn't do anything"

Aww. That's so sad. If you don't mind me asking, how bad are his delays? I'm asking because I know someone in a similar situation.

Quoting Supafly★:" Aww. That's so sad. If you don't mind me asking, how bad are his delays? I'm asking because I know someone in a similar situation. "

Luckily they aren't too bad, or as bad as they could be. He is about 1.5 years behind. He didn't really talk at all until he met my now husband a year ago. I have been through ALOT to get him this far. He got eval'd for PT, OT, Speech and SI therapy. He is in early start special ed, but he is SO smart. He's doing awesome, but mostly because I have busted my ass to get him the best help available.

Sadly I know someone who lost her son to SBS. I met her in the womens shelter after he beat and left us. She was an inspiration to really fight for my son <3

My "father" owes my mom like 11 years for me and 7 years for my sister, shes only 17. Has never gone to jsil over it, ive looked up his recorded

Quoting *Mega Mom*:" Luckily they aren't too bad, or as bad as they could be. He is about 1.5 years behind. He didn't really ... [snip!] ... son to SBS. I met her in the womens shelter after he beat and left us. She was an inspiration to really fight for my son <3"

Aw, that's heartbreaking. I'm glad your son didn't suffer too badly and everything is stable now. I hope you can get your piece of smurf ex out of your life for good one day soon!

Quoting *Mega Mom*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" I totally agree with your decision. Did ... [snip!] ... no. He skipped the state and there was only "circumstantial" evidence of him doing it so the police didn't do anything"

Pisses me off smurfs like that get off scott free. My dad did that smurf.