Quoting ♥ axel sean n me:" i agree with most of what your saying but tbh i lost my virginity at just 14 it wasnt my parents fault ... [snip!] ... wanted a child. i think sometimes its sometimes out of the parents control if their child losing there virginity young."
I lost mine at that age as well. I can tell you as a parent, it was due to a lack of parental involvement. If my parents were more open with me about sex and had more conversations about respecting myself and waiting to find the guy who respected me enough to wait rather than the "don't do it or else" speech, I probably would have waited. I didn't have any respect for myself. I didn't think I was worth anything to anyone. When I got attention from a guy, I ran with it. I wasn't a whore by any means. I had the same 3 boyfriends all thru high school. Mostly 1 but when he would off and cheat on me, I would date one of the others. I couldn't be alone. I wasn't validated unless I was dating someone. Oddly enough, I wasn't sleeping with the one who kept cheating on me. I guess I had a little respect some where in the pits.
Anyway, as a mother and watching my daughters and seeing them grow into beautiful young ladies I know how important this conversation is. It isn't a one time shot. It is a relationship that I have to build with them NOW and keep strong so that they feel they can always come to me and not fear me. Not just a fear of punishment. Kids fear dissapointing their parents at a young age. If they get that vibe they are reluctant to tell you that they have made a mistake and that is when the secrets start. If you felt you had a better relationship with your mother, do you think you would have lied to her? I didn't lie to my mom. She was never around. My dad traveled with work and my mom was too busy doing her own thing to pay attention. She never bothered to ask.
My older sister was responsible and got on the pill. My mother made her throw them away and told her to stop having sex. That sent the message that I couldn't go to her when I hit that point. Want to guess what happened? My sister was pregnant before she graduated high school her senior year. Guess what else? So was I. Her and I were pregnant at the same time. She kept my nephew and married my now ex brother in law. I made the decision to get an abortion. I was 16 she was 17 and turned 18 the day she graduated. Smartest decision I could have made for the stupid situation I put myself in. Because my sister got caught with the pills, I opted to go on the shot. Took responsibility to make sure it didn't happen again. However, I know that neither of us would have been in that situation had we been given an open door to speak with our parents. When I was younger, I thought like you. As I got older, I realized my mothers mistakes and decided I had to not repeat them if I wanted different results for my daughters and my son. Kids don't come with a manual. We are lucky to have BG. My mom didn't have a cordless phone or cable (yes, I am that old). All we can do is try to learn from others mistakes and improve on them. Hopefully each generation gets better.