*I am not the person being referenced to, before anyone says anything.*
So, say your child is 21. Your child used to live with a significant other but when it didn't work out about six months ago, you let them move back in with no bills other than their own (Cell phone, gas, car insurance). Your child got a part time job, but hours are tough so he/she is only working around 2 days a week, around 4-5 hours each day. He/she is actively seeking more employment, or better employment and claims he/she plans to begin college next semester, as they missed the sign up date.
Today, your child finally tells you that they were arrested for paraphernalia and possession of marijuana (Misdemeanor, under an ounce). Their name is going to be posted in the news paper. You have a job where this could be potentially frowned on (Let's say...Authority figure such as a cop). They need you to pay their fines, or they face jail time.
Would you pay their fines to help them out, would you possibly do it pending say an agreement where he/she will pay you back, or would you say no with an explanation why?
I'm just curious as to what different people to do, how they'd approach it. And literally, I swear it's not me.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" *I am not the person being referenced to, before anyone says anything.* So, say your child is 21. Your ... [snip!] ... why? I'm just curious as to what different people to do, how they'd approach it. And literally, I swear it's not me."

depends on the child... and how many problems they've caused in the past. If it's just a rough spot in life... I'd bail them out. If it's been a continued issue.. no. eventually they need to grow up and deal with life on their own.

if that was their first time messing up then yes..but if they havent learned and have gotten into trouble before then id have to think about it but either way theyd be paying me back

Yes Id pay their fine for them to avoid jail time. Id give them a big lecture about it, make them agree to pay me back etc... How big is this fine?

Really depending on how well your child is actually doing. I would not want to see my child in jail for something like marijuana.

No, I wouldn't.

The most I would do is co-sign a loan.

Quoting snglemama:" depends on the child... and how many problems they've caused in the past. If it's just a rough spot ... [snip!] ... I'd bail them out. If it's been a continued issue.. no. eventually they need to grow up and deal with life on their own."

A few speeding tickets in the past, but no major legal trouble like this.

Idprobably help cover thier ass....


Just some weed....

IDK.
It sounds to me - based on the story - that my child doesn't have their life together whatsoever. I don't think I would be able to be an enabler to that - either by allowing them to slack off living with me or by paying his/her way out of trouble.

If the child was 17/18...maybe.
But at 21? He/She is a grown up and should realize that they can't just do whatever they want whenever they want.

Quoting snglemama:" depends on the child... and how many problems they've caused in the past. If it's just a rough spot ... [snip!] ... I'd bail them out. If it's been a continued issue.. no. eventually they need to grow up and deal with life on their own."

I agree with this. I was assuming this was the first time they had gotten into any trouble. Like Id bail my brother out in a heart beat but SO wouldnt bail his brother out because he has been to jail countless times, once this year and would probably skip bail

Quoting ♥Love♥:" Yes Id pay their fine for them to avoid jail time. Id give them a big lecture about it, make them agree to pay me back etc... How big is this fine?"

No clue. She showed me the paper but didn't tell me the amount of the fine. But either way, her mother is basically saying "You made a stupid mistake, you fix it." so I got curious as to what other people would do.

Weed is legal here.... but if it were drugs like heroin or meth then hell no. That's just like enabling them to keep using by paying their drug charge fines. Not sure I would even do it for weed, if they have a pt job then why can't they? courts take payment arrangments... even as little as 25 a month sometimes...

I've always had to party my own way and i will expect my children to

Quoting snglemama:" depends on the child... and how many problems they've caused in the past. If it's just a rough spot ... [snip!] ... I'd bail them out. If it's been a continued issue.. no. eventually they need to grow up and deal with life on their own."

 

Quoting Zombie Mom ✄:" Weed is legal here.... but if it were drugs like heroin or meth then hell no. That's just like enabling ... [snip!] ... weed, if they have a pt job then why can't they? courts take payment arrangments... even as little as 25 a month sometimes..."

Exactly.
I'd have no problem telling my child that its time they get a better job.