Quoting Vodka Knockers:" Work is very hard to come by in these areas, admittedly. DH works part time, minimum wage but pulls about ... [snip!] ... full time. But, Wal-Mart is usually always hiring, because so many people quit. It's a miserable place to work, but it's work."

My brother works at Walmart and they are ALWAYS shortstaffed. They have been non-stop hiring for 2 years and people are "above" working there. His thoughts? It pays my bills so its fine by me!

Quoting Emily Dickinson:" I am not anti-marijuana by any means. I believe that it should be legalized and taxed. However, until ... [snip!] ... wouldn't have smoked in public. It seems like she knows she can run to mommy with every issue and mommy will take care of it."

I definitely agree by no means should she have been smoking it in public, especially in broad day light behind the Waffle House.
And she does rely heavily on her mother. But, I do believe that she's serious about college and I really hope she is because it's a really good step in the right direction. I don't know, personally I'm very torn about what I'd do if my son was in the same situation.

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" No, I wouldn't. The most I would do is co-sign a loan."</blockquote>




I agree with this.

<blockquote><b>Quoting snglemama:</b>" depends on the child... and how many problems they've caused in the past. If it's just a rough spot ... [snip!] ... I'd bail them out. If it's been a continued issue.. no. eventually they need to grow up and deal with life on their own."</blockquote>




Agree

Yes I would pay for my kid. It would make their life a hell of a lot harder if they end up going to jail and then having that on their record. I wouldn't make it really a habit, but honestly I highly disapprove with the American way of life of coddling your kid til their 18 then throwing them out on their own and expecting them to deal with everything. 21 years old is not that old to be living at home. All of my brother in law and unmarried sisters in law still live at home with their parents and if my parents were alive, my brothers would live with them too. And yeah the kid made a mistake but it's smoking weed at 21 years old. Doesn't make her a hardened criminal.

Quoting snglemama:" unlikely a 21 yr old would get a loan with a 2 day a week job"

That's not my fault.

<blockquote><b>Quoting snglemama:</b>" unlikely a 21 yr old would get a loan with a 2 day a week job"</blockquote>




My mother cosigned a loan for me when I was 18 and had no job.

Quoting Emily Dickinson:" I just see the parents in this situation completely enabling a slacker to be a slacker and that is not ... [snip!] ... I'm extremely grateful that my parents were like that because if they weren't, I would have ran home everytime life got hard."

but times are different... it's becoming normal for people to live with parents longer... just like it used to be normal. If it was because of laziness... yes, I'd have a problem with that. But it would depend on the situation, the child,a nd the job market.

Quoting Emily Dickinson:" If she has time to be a waffle house smoking pot in a parking lot, she has time to try and find another ... [snip!] ... I would not be okay with my 21 year old child moving home and mooching off me while smoking pot behind a Waffle House. JMO."

you have no idea. Maybe she was stressed because she had no job.. it could have been a one time thing. Again.. depends ont he situation. You make it sound like the "child" is a dead beat moocher who does drugs all day. You dont' know that is the case.

Quoting snglemama:" you have no idea. Maybe she was stressed because she had no job.. it could have been a one time thing. ... [snip!] ... situation. You make it sound like the "child" is a dead beat moocher who does drugs all day. You dont' know that is the case."

I'm sorry.....she owns and is carrying around a 10 inch glass pipe, I doubt it's a one time thing....

Sorry, but in my reality when you're broke or on hard times you cut out smurf you don't need.

When you're moving in with mama and working smurf hours, you cut out smoking, drinking, lower your phone plan, etc.

She has no business buying pot in the first place when mama's paying her way IMO

It would depend. If it was a one time screw up, she was seriously seeking more employment/schooling, and DH and I had the money, yes, I'd agree to pay the fines. However, they would have to be paid back ASAP.

If she was always screwing up, and not seriously trying to make the future better, I wouldn't agree to pay a cent. Maybe a little jail time would make her take things seriously.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" *I am not the person being referenced to, before anyone says anything.* So, say your child is 21. Your ... [snip!] ... why? I'm just curious as to what different people to do, how they'd approach it. And literally, I swear it's not me."

I would help my child with anything she legitimately needed, as long as she pulled her own weight and did her equal part. BUT If it had anything to do with drugs or breaking the law, she'd be 100% on her own. Period. I'd be there to emotionally support her, but not financially, and I certainly wouldn't put my career or reputation on the line for their illegal actions. Gotta grow up at some point, and face the consequences of what you choose to do.

I would bail them out.

Yes I would pay the fine, since I believe weed just be legal in the first place. lol