Depends on the situation, past and how much jail time they face. I want to say that I would leave it up to them to figure out. If they chose to do something stupid they deserve to endure the consequences and learn their lesson. If you bail them out, chances are they won't take what they did seriously unless this was like a first offense and they had a good reasoning for it.

So many variables!! Have they ever been in trouble before? How 'actively' were they searching for a job? Obviously, they have enough money to buy drugs... Lots of people are looking for 'good' jobs. I would just want them to have A job. Are they remorseful about having the drugs and breaking the law? Overall attitude about being caught.

In most cases, I think the child needs to face consequences, but in reality, I wouldn't want my child to be in jail. So it depends. Tough one.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" A few speeding tickets in the past, but no major legal trouble like this."

then absolutely. no need to spend real jail time for something like that. I'd make them sign something saying they'd pay it back.. but I'd help them out. My job as a parent doesn't stop when they turn 18. Having to balance which would help my child more.. helping or not... would be the issue. Sounds like in this specific circumstance... bailing him out would help him more.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Emily Dickinson:</b>" Exactly. I'd have no problem telling my child that its time they get a better job."</blockquote>

This exactly...

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" No, I wouldn't. The most I would do is co-sign a loan."

unlikely a 21 yr old would get a loan with a 2 day a week job

Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" Depends on the situation, past and how much jail time they face. I want to say that I would leave it ... [snip!] ... chances are they won't take what they did seriously unless this was like a first offense and they had a good reasoning for it."

She's had a few speeding tickets int he past, but no serious trouble til now. However, the way she got caught, I will admit was VERY stupid. She went on a date with a boy to Waffle House and climbed in his vehicle, parked behind Waffle House and whipped out her giant wizard's pipe which is around 10 inches long, and they started smoking. An employee called the police.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" She's had a few speeding tickets int he past, but no serious trouble til now. However, the way she got ... [snip!] ... whipped out her giant wizard's pipe which is around 10 inches long, and they started smoking. An employee called the police."

Then she is an idiot and I would tell her that. Friend, child, sister, brother...IDC. I would let them deal with it if they made that stupid of a decision.

I do not think marijuana should be illegal. So yes, if there is an arrangement in order for me to he paid back

Quoting Emily Dickinson:" Exactly. I'd have no problem telling my child that its time they get a better job."

jobs are really hard to come by in some areas... working part time might not be by choice. Hell.. my sister is 22, has a bachelors, and works at a grocery store because it's all she can find. It's not about not wanting a better job... it's about better jobs wanting experience.

I just see the parents in this situation completely enabling a slacker to be a slacker and that is not something that I would be okay with.

Once we moved out on our own, we were out on our own. If we wanted to move back, we paid rent. Period. If we didn't want to work full time and pay rent, we didn't come home. I'm extremely grateful that my parents were like that because if they weren't, I would have ran home everytime life got hard.

Quoting Emily Dickinson:" Then she is an idiot and I would tell her that. Friend, child, sister, brother...IDC. I would let them deal with it if they made that stupid of a decision."

Now I will say, I'm no angel. I smoke marijuana for medicinal reasons. It's illegal in NC, but it keeps me off of vicodin, xanax, and Seroquel.
However, I do NOT do things like that. I put it into a child proof medicine bottle, put it in the top back corner of the medicine cabinet along with anything I use to injest it. I do not ride with pipes, I do not ride with marijuana if I'm not picking it up. When I pick it up, I put it in my glove compartment and lock it so they have to have a warrant to search it and most cops here won't bother if I say it's jammed and I can't unlock it.
I mean, I try to be careful to avoid a mess like that.

Quoting ×ø×K·ßear×ø×:" if that was their first time messing up then yes..but if they havent learned and have gotten into trouble before then id have to think about it but either way theyd be paying me back"

 

Quoting snglemama:" jobs are really hard to come by in some areas... working part time might not be by choice. Hell.. ... [snip!] ... store because it's all she can find. It's not about not wanting a better job... it's about better jobs wanting experience."

If she has time to be a waffle house smoking pot in a parking lot, she has time to try and find another job.

It would probably be easier to get a decent job if she could pass a drug test, TBH.

I would not be okay with my 21 year old child moving home and mooching off me while smoking pot behind a Waffle House. JMO.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" Now I will say, I'm no angel. I smoke marijuana for medicinal reasons. It's illegal in NC, but it keeps ... [snip!] ... most cops here won't bother if I say it's jammed and I can't unlock it. I mean, I try to be careful to avoid a mess like that."

I am not anti-marijuana by any means. I believe that it should be legalized and taxed. However, until it is, I agree with you - you have to be careful about it. I don't do it because its illegal and I could lose my job and go to jail. If this person was worried about having the same issues, she wouldn't have smoked in public. It seems like she knows she can run to mommy with every issue and mommy will take care of it.

Quoting snglemama:" jobs are really hard to come by in some areas... working part time might not be by choice. Hell.. ... [snip!] ... store because it's all she can find. It's not about not wanting a better job... it's about better jobs wanting experience."

Work is very hard to come by in these areas, admittedly. DH works part time, minimum wage but pulls about 25 hours each week. I also do small jobs on the side, but attend college full time.
But, Wal-Mart is usually always hiring, because so many people quit. It's a miserable place to work, but it's work.