Telling BD my son isn't getting his last name....

Hi all,
New to pregnancy and I'm a single momma! The father and I get along, we're civil with each other and plan to make the best out of our "friendship" for our baby boy Bryson who's due to come next month... He does now have a girlfriend which is so strange to me because he has his entire life to have a relationship- he only has his first child once... and this girlfriend is making things inconvenient... EITHER WAY lol... I'm ok with it because I'm the one who chose not to be with BD... anyway, I've chosen to give Bryson my last name, and the dad and I haven't discussed his last name since the beginning of the pregnancy, at that time I was willing to give him his dads last name. But I've recently changed my mind do to advise, my own personal opinions, and what I think is best for Bryson. HOW DO I TELL HIM?! I'm so nervous because we have a pretty decent relationship and I'm scared he's going to freak! Any other momma's out there that have gone through this or going through it that can give me some advise!?!  

Just make sure the laws where you are don't automatacically give him the bio father's name. I know in some places, if a man is on the birth certificate he can legally make you change the child's name to his.

My hsband and I were together when we had my son, I still have him my last name. He knew I was doing what I thought was best for our baby so he didn't argue, hopefully it will go the same for you.

Just fill out the birth certificate with your name as his name then when it comes be like "Oh yeah, he has my last name."

Well if he's going to freak he's going to freak. Why not try a hyphenated last name? I wanted DD to have my last name (I'm married but kept my last name) DH wouldn't budge so we talked about a hyphenated last name. At the end DD ended up with his last name though I gave in.

Just tell him that you have just as much right giving him your name as you do giving him his and you think him having your name would be better.

Quoting MommaSav2:" Just make sure the laws where you are don't automatacically give him the bio father's name. I know in ... [snip!] ... last name. He knew I was doing what I thought was best for our baby so he didn't argue, hopefully it will go the same for you."

There's no laws anywhere in the United States dictating last name usage. You could have the last name Smith and give one of your kid's the last name Fartsmeller, then another, Bonelicker, then another Knobhead if you wanted.

Quoting Glo♥:" Well if he's going to freak he's going to freak. Why not try a hyphenated last name? I wanted DD to have ... [snip!] ... name) DH wouldn't budge so we talked about a hyphenated last name. At the end DD ended up with his last name though I gave in."

I like this advice. Win-win.

Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:" Just fill out the birth certificate with your name as his name then when it comes be like "Oh yeah, he has my last name.""

this! i wish i would of done that, my ex is a deadbeat and we're going through a huge court battle, unfortunately i may not be granted a last name change and my son may be stuck carrying around a name that means nothing to him, and in my opinion "honoring" a deadbeat dad..just put your last name!

Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:" Just fill out the birth certificate with your name as his name then when it comes be like "Oh yeah, he has my last name.""

That's what I'd do honestly. I regret every day hyphening my DD's last name

Just tell him that's what you feel most comfortable with.

And what does him having a girlfriend have to do with his first child being born anyways?

Quoting White Chocolate Milk:" Just tell him that's what you feel most comfortable with. And what does him having a girlfriend have to do with his first child being born anyways?"

Jealousy I'm guessing.

Just tell him. The quicker he knows, the longer he has to accept it.

If you previously told him that you were going to give the child his last name, then you should tell him you've changed your mind. Just be upfront and honest about it, and tell him your reasoning.

I am all for babies getting mom's last name if the parents aren't married or in a long-term relationship, and especially if they aren't together. I definitely think you're making the right decision!  

Quoting Little_Bs_Mommy:" Hi all, New to pregnancy and I'm a single momma! The father and I get along, we're civil with each other ... [snip!] ... going to freak! Any other momma's out there that have gone through this or going through it that can give me some advise!?!  "

well since you know this baby is being primarily raised by you and coming out of your vagina its your choice to do so and since you have your own beliefs on the matter you get primary vote on this...I wouldnt say a thing since why does it effect him but if it really bothers you enough to say something to him which btw...I would be asking myself if that has more to do with your relationship than your beliefs but I would say it as we are not married and you have no claim to this baby you are moving on to your own life which I am ok with but I dont see why this baby cant have my name since I am being both parents and being the primary parent its not an insult to you because I think you will be an excellent father but I believe and insert your thoughts there if he flips and ditches sadly you didnt want him around anyway because whats gonna happen when major issues pop up and guess what once again your being the nice person by including him in this and you dont have to legally tho having a guy doing his half is a great thing and you should be grateful and continue being nice with each other just legally you cant really be held to your end like that but I am sure you understand my point

<blockquote><b>Quoting I'm His Amy He's My Rory:</b>" Jealousy I'm guessing."</blockquote>




I was thinking the same.i sincerely hope the reason why you're not giving him his name just because he has a girlfriend.