advice needed for a non pregnancy issue.. Its a long one!

My sister has a 7 year old DD and she has some behavioral issues... in my opinion, this has a lot to do with the fact that she doesn't get the attention that she needs from her mother or her father. Within the last four months or so, my sister and niece moved in with us for a little while as my sister got divorced so I've gotten to see this behavior on a daily basis. I've also gotten to witness first hand how little interaction my sister has with her... unless it's to yell at her for doing something wrong she doesnt get much. My sister will sit on the couch or in bed all day and hand my niece a laptop, ipod or Wii to play with to keep her busy and doesn't pay attention to her after that.
Not too long after they moved in, maybe a month or two, my niece stuck a crayon up her but and had to go the the emergency room for help taking care of the issue. She told everyone at first that she got the idea from looking up horse videos on youtube (but didn't tell anyone what exactly she saw) on the ipod. After searching different variations of horses on youtube, we couldnt find anything that could have given her that idea... Right before this happened though, my sister and her boyfriend were experimenting in the bedroom and my sister was not shy at all to talk to her friends on the phone about it, sometimes in front of her 7 year old daughter. When I pointed this out to her though, that she could have gotten it from hearing her, she told me that was impossible because my niece didn't listen to her or couldnt hear her (because she has hearing problems, but they arent THAT bad). I tried making her understand that even though she does not acknowledge that she heard what she said, if she says inappropriate things around her daughter, you can guarantee she heard it! Even after all of this happened, she still didn't take the ipod or computer away from her... Or even at least watch her while she was on it...
Now tonight my sister comes into my room distressed because my niece found a popup online and it ended up being pornographic. She was on a site watching movies that not only has adult films (no porn on the site, but grown up movies not fit for little eyes) but this site also has frequent popups that have half naked women on it and has words on it that try to entice people to click the add for a "good time". My sister was very aware that these popups occurred each time you clicked on a movie, but thought that they were "ok" because there was no full nudity... BUT A 7 YEAR OLD CAN READ!! She obviously wanted to know what the words meant and clicked on one of the ads and saw more than she needs to at such a young age... and having the computer to herself, with no one watching she was free to...
I have tried talking my sister into getting some help parenting... shes really not a bad person, she just doesn't seem to think things through very well. I've told her for years that her and her daughter should go to counseling together to work through their issues (as my niece is an angry child) and for her to get some tips on how to parent her but my words are not reaching her. My parents have warned her that if this keeps up she has the potential of losing her daughter but she still isn't changing her ways (her suggestion after tonight's incident was that her daughter "quickly x out of any popups that come up", she still let her have the laptop in her bed with no supervision as to what she was doing on it). I'm so torn... What am I supposed to do? If I report the incident to DHHS to MAKE her get the help she needs parenting then she may lose her daughter... but if I keep my mouth shut and nothing changes... what else is my niece going to be subjected to....

My daughter is only three but hears everrrrything except when I ask her to do something. I think it's very possible she picks it up from her. Otherwise is there a friend at school?

<blockquote><b>Quoting BonnieBlaine&Connor:</b>" My sister has a 7 year old DD and she has some behavioral issues... in my opinion, this has a lot to ... [snip!] ... may lose her daughter... but if I keep my mouth shut and nothing changes... what else is my niece going to be subjected to.... "</blockquote>



You have a couple choices as I see it. 1) call DHS so she gets the helps she needs, the child would then either go to the dad if he's fit or to a family member (well most likely) 2) take care of her yourself. IMO if you live with other people it is everyone's responsibility to make sure the child is looked after. Although the parent should be the primary of course.

Quoting ~Raylan's Mama~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BonnieBlaine&Connor:</b>" My sister has a 7 year old DD and ... [snip!] ... it is everyone's responsibility to make sure the child is looked after. Although the parent should be the primary of course."

I do look after her a lot, but when it comes down to when she uses the computer/other devices if her mother says yes, I can't say no. Plus them living here is only for the next month or so till my DS is born in March...I can only do so much...

<blockquote><b>Quoting BonnieBlaine&Connor:</b>" I do look after her a lot, but when it comes down to when she uses the computer/other devices if her ... [snip!] ... I can't say no. Plus them living here is only for the next month or so till my DS is born in March...I can only do so much..."</blockquote>

Well I figured you did to an extent that's why I tried wording it as best as possible. I would can DHS...she doesn't even have to know it was you and I don't think they would take her away, just educate her/make her take parenting classes. They can force her to, you can't. It does worry me tho that she has been told her daughter would get taken away and she seems not to give a rats ass.