Things I never understood...

1) Why a parent would chose to NOT go after child support.
2) Why a parent would move and hide from their BD

But know I understand very clearly. In the past, people said they would not pursue child support because they didn't want anything to do with their child's father or other parent. I thought that was very selfish and a horrible decision for the child..until now. BECAUSE I pursued child support, I now have to deal with the piece of smurf who is her father. It's no secret he was never a stand out good guy...at all. However, this is an incredible new low. So... I do not want my daughter to be subject to the lies, manipulation, and druggies that are her other "family".... I think I will just drop the child support since he and his mother have taken it upon themselves to disrespect my wishes as her mother and disrespecting me to the fullest. I HATE having to make decisions like this that should not have to be made. But I am sincerely hoping I get a job in the town where my extended family lives so that I can take my daughter and myself far far away from the tragedy and catastrophe that is her other "family". A mother's work is so much more difficult than ever imagined. The same way a lot of parents say "i will never do that when I am a parent" yet end up doing it (i.e. having a child through a fit at the market) is the same way I feel right now. Being at war with people I care so much for, as a human being, is so hard. It's even harder being at war with myself over what the right thing to do is. I've found, deep down, I ALWAYS know the right thing, and I often end up not doing it in order to please others and sacrafice myself and well being for others. Well, when it comes down to my daughter's well-being... there is NO second guessing.... I just hate to have to be in a place where I cannot please everyone. But we all know, you can never, ever, ever please a lying manipulative jack ass or his mother....
The End.

Pray I get this job.

now that im assuming paternity has been established and theres a c/s order, is there a custody agreement and such? alot of times you will be unable to move away from the father.

Quoting Ailey+Lennon+Renner's Mom:" now that im assuming paternity has been established and theres a c/s order, is there a custody agreement and such? alot of times you will be unable to move away from the father."

NO there isn't... I have been weighing the pros and cons of getting one. If I just cancel the child support, then I know he will just disappear. But I still want documentation to prevent his mother from sturring up further trouble.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" NO there isn't... I have been weighing the pros and cons of getting one. If I just cancel the child ... [snip!] ... then I know he will just disappear. But I still want documentation to prevent his mother from sturring up further trouble."

IDK mama, I was told for my state they try to make you work it out between yourselves first, then the judge will make a decision if that doesn't work.

I wish you the best of luck! I know how sucky it is when you know they're only around because CS caught up with them, etc (happens to me EVERY TIME... I get a check (surprise!) and a week later and delightful phone call..)

Quoting anonymom + 1.5:" IDK mama, I was told for my state they try to make you work it out between yourselves first, then the ... [snip!] ... caught up with them, etc (happens to me EVERY TIME... I get a check (surprise!) and a week later and delightful phone call..)"

Yeah.... well I'm pretty sure that once I drop the childsupport even IF we form a custody agreement, that he will still disappear. I just don't want it to stop me from moving for a better job if I do. It is so complicated... ugh.