re: Seriously?!!?!

I understand him watching at home. Not here. He doesn't stay like I do. He's only here a few hours

Since you had problems with him and the thing before...its pretty retarted that he decides to grab that of all things in that situation...I would be like wtf if my guy decided to bring that anywaya...if he had an addiction problem with the ps3 past hell yeah I would be pissed.

The other things you mentioned I would of probably left by now...you dont miss the birth of your child to run friends around...wtf.

Sorry Mama   try not to think about him and focus on your baby...hope things get better soon

Quoting BrandiReed:" I'm mad at both really. He brings it everywhere. All the time. No matter where. How long. All the time. ... [snip!] ... what was going on the first night. Things were looking horrific. And he took the time to pack nothing else but the playstation."

Perhaps it would be best to send him home?
One less thing you have to worry about?
Trust me, I understand where you're coming from, hon. I just think that it comes down to prioritizing right now. If it will help with your own stress it might be best to just tell him to go. Especially if the game system is coming between him and his child. When you get home or things become more stabke for the baby, you should definitely confront him about the game, but for now just do what's best for you and baby. Mainly you. Baby's being taken care of.

Could this be his way of dealing with a stressful situation? Men behave much differently than women when it comes to dealing with their emotions. I notice that women frequently want their partners to act upset in the same ways they do. Guys like to zone out and occupy themselves with something mindless, women like to brood, dwell, and cry it out. Just because he conducts himsel in a different matter does not necessarily imply that he is not feeling the same degree of fear and concern that you are.

Also- I don't really see any difference with you wanting Netflix and him wanting his game system. They are both forms of entertainment that do wonders to take your mind elsewhere.

I wouldn't be upset over the ps3 at all personally.

Quoting Safka9973:" Could this be his way of dealing with a stressful situation? Men behave much differently than women ... [snip!] ... Netflix and him wanting his game system. They are both forms of entertainment that do wonders to take your mind elsewhere."

this. when we were out of town when my daughter wasd in NICU my SO was on his phone a lot playing games and doing things to take his mind off of it. I got mad at him a couple times and he reminded me that I'm not the only one scared and stressing.

OP, like you said nothing should be more important than the baby right now. so don't waste energy being upset over trivial things. focus on your little one, deal witht he other issues later.

good luck with everything hope your son is okay <3

I didn't want Netflix he said he brought the ps3 so e would have it. But I was thinking why can't he just watch tv if he needed to. I can understand just turning on noise as a distraction. But going to the trouble of it. And unhooking it in the first place and then settin it up. It was a stressful day and only got a hotel to shower and get a few hours of sleep. And just. Maybe I'm making a bigger deal out of it but I was just livid. And am.

At the hospital I gave birth we didn't really get to see our son. They have to work t out with two sections of the hospital and they were never on the same page. At least for me. I was deadly low on blood and I had a lot of issues so I wasn't allowed to do much at first. But they would have let him. He just wasn't there.

He missed the birth but e did get to see him briefly and they told him he could go down there but he instead went to a friends house in the area even then. After not staying with me as it were thru the night or coming out all day when I was induced and in labor and even my nurses kept calling him to get out there. He was there maybe two hours when he came to visit then went home.

The nicu is in a hospital two more hours away. I have stayed the whole time. He hasn't and I understand that. But when he CAN come out here it's again only for a few hours. Like instead of going up to see his son he's setting up the system in the room then playing around it. Instea of rushing out here when he had a chance to he was at home playing games and packing this. Again he didn't even bring clothes or toiletries or anything else.

I don't know. I'm just... This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever witnessed. Someone taking a game system everywhere all the time. Especially to a hospital.

I know he is worried. I know he loves our son. I just. I hate the ps3 as it were before all this. He knows that. T was already an issue. Pregnancy related an otherwise. But to bring it. And spend the time hooking it up. And I don't know. Its like he can't survive without it for even an hour. And is not something I need. I spend all my time alone both at the hospital I gave birth and out here. I jump with joy he's going to be around. And then it's ps3. Ignored. Son ignored. And wondering why he even bothered to be around.

He does this with verything. But I thought a sick child might come above it. Be one thing. But apparently not.

I'm ranting on here. Maybe somewhat over the top. I'm not bringing it up with him at the moment. I didn't bring up missing the birth or refusing to be around. Not right now with him. But I needed to get it out I guess. This was just low in my eyes. He's been supportive and I know he loves me and Landon and all. But it just... Here's a trigger for me I guess. And it's just so ridiculous to me to e so attached. If it was a slightly different situation maybe but the way things were at the moment and right now. Just too much.

I'm trying not to create more drama than needs to be. Stress out. But getting it out and just on with things I guess. Needed to complain somewhere. And my family and his are out because that's make it worse.

Quoting BrandiReed:" I didn't want Netflix he said he brought the ps3 so e would have it. But I was thinking why can't he ... [snip!] ... most ridiculous thing I have ever witnessed. Someone taking a game system everywhere all the time. Especially to a hospital."

It wouldn't be different if he was in the hotel room watching TV because he would still seem like he doesn't give a damn.

Matter of fact, though. You guys are at the hotel. Your child is in the hospital. What could he possibly do?

He brought it in the first place is my main issue with it all.

When I was being admitted before all of this he mentioned bringing it up with us and I was upset. I was being admitted to be induced the next day. It was late at night. He wasn't staying. He was there for maybe two hours. And he thought it was important to bring the system for that? He couldn't live without it for two hours?

So I had been upset about that. Upset about him bringing it to family functions before. His family have thrown fits about it.

So now. When I mean you only get a short amount of time to be around your child you choose to do that instead. If it were long stretches of time I would be like fine okay whatever. Still mad but not as much. When rushing around to get clothes and items needed he uses all of that to unhook his system and put it up here and all.

His addiction to t has been an issue as it is. But bringing it into this situation was just a time I felt I couldn't ignore. But that's just me. Some wouldn't care. I just think he can live with leaving it at home. I'm surprised now that anytime he leaves the house he doesn't take it with him. Even if he's just going to check the mail. He might nt surive he makes it out to be

Just turning on the tv is different in my view I guess. It's just pressing a button. It's not deliberately brining something he knows I dot want around. Akin the time to unhook it and all his extras that go to it. Only packing it. Then taking the time to set t up and have it going. Rushed me out of the hospital because he was tired so I got a hotel room then stays up for hours trying to figure out how to rebook it then rambling on. Missed the class and meeting we were suppose to go to because he stayed up until t was time to go. He got back last night and wanted to go eat first then brin his stuff to the room before we would go up and I went to use the bathroom came back in to him setting up. He decided that was more important.

Maybe the ps3 is a way to get his mind off things. You say "he always does this" and ok, but maybe the other times he wants to get his mind off things as well. (Besides when he's just playing for fun) what do YOU do to get your mind off things?? Do you have hobbies or interests?? How would you feel if your "escapes" pissed him off and he complained any time YOU engaged in them. I'm not trying to be mean or inconsiderate of how you feel. I'm just trying to put it in a different perspective. Some people listen to music, some people vent to their friends, some people shut themselves in, in your husband's/boyfriend's case this may be his way of NOT worrying.

Channel surfing hotel room television is not putting any MORE focus on your son's health than the ps3. And I hate to say it to you, but you better get used to gaming guys lol because not only did you choose one to be the father of your child, but chances are your new innocent little boy will end up one just like his daddy lol!!

Personally I myself love video games, my husband does too, and even my mom does. So I can kind of see it from his point of view. If I wanted to get my mind OFF something I completely understand turning to the ps3 to do it.

Now if he flat out said, "sorry. Not gonna see our son because I'm trying to beat this level right now" or something THEN I'd understand. But he SHOWED up to see him. He cares. You even said you know he does. It's not like he's staying at the hotel while you both have the opportunity to visit your son. YOU are there too. He probably just doesn't want to focus on the worrying, which unfortunately new mothers tend to do.

It seems like there are a lot more deeper issues than just "he's obsessed with games" and personally I'd be really pissed if there was such a big deal made about it that you smashed up my ps3. That's a little out of control. You seem to be so anti-video games it's weird. "He brought the one thing he knows I hate". It's just a ps3. It's not like he's some drunk bringing his drinking buddies around. Or he's bringing a bunch of life threatening drugs around. It is an escape. Just like venting on BabyGaga is for you.

If something I do bothers him I stop doing it. I've cut activities to people out of my life if it was a big deal. I don't mind him playing his games or whatever. I do when it takes over his life.

I didn't smash his ps3. He did. Then bought a new one the next day.

But it's just. Hey you're going to come out for two hours only on days you feel like it then that little time you have you spend half of it setting up cords and such. He goes home to actually play instead of being here. Then I have to force him to come see me and his son and he brings it with him.

If it were a longer stay then fine. Spend some downtime. But it's he only uses limited time to be here and then is doing just what he wants to run out of here and go home and do. An he is supposed to be taking are of things at home when he leaves but no he's flirting with his game girls and messing around with it all.

The discharge lady set up a special class just for us so he could go to it this morning since he can't go on Monday but he wouldn't get off the controller.

I et needing an escape. I also get there's a time and a place. By trying to be argumentative I just... I feel he just could leave it home for at least a few hours. I may need to vent or talk to someone or do something mindless but I'm not putting that ahead of what I truly need to be doing the best I can.

Sigh. There's bigger issues here with the child and with the relationship but eah. I've had an issue with his gaming and have been aware it'll probably be what makes me walk one of these days but I try and try to work with him and accept it and such. But this just flew me off the deep end.

No right or wrong to it. Maybe this is how he's dealing. I just wish he would use the little time e chooses to be aroun to actually be around. Not fiddle with a game thing or run off to a friends or whatever. Things he can do at another time He chooses to do in his limited time elsewhere.

He can play games whenever. Watch movies. Go shopping. All of that he can do at anytime. He only gets so much to be hey come to the hospital to see the birth of your child or go see him. Why do something you're able to at anytime in that short time is what I don't get.

Im a worried mom. Yeah. I want to spend my every second with my baby and it's understandable he's even off put by things going on and weary of being up there. But it's just... It doesn't work for me.

Its just been a hectic week.

I was angry he didn't want to stay with me at the hospital. But I understood he had things to take care of. He said he would be back.

The next day came and he wouldn't show up. My brother drove halfway across the country in the last second to be there for me. My estranged father drove from the other side of the state. And he couldn't make it an hour away.
I've checked his messages. He was just sitting at home messing around. While I and his family and my family and my nurses and doctor were all tellin him hey you have a kid coming. You want to be here for it get off your ass and get here.
Every time I would talk to him it was I'm in a game, I'm along care of the dogs, I have to go to pay this bill and that in a town an hour the other direction, so and so needs me to take them shopping. Or saying I'm on my way then an hour pass and he would then say oh I had to go do this so I'm on my way now.
That's what that whole thing ended up as. My doctor ended up calling for me. I had to hear my family and all my nurses complain over it and pity me and all.

Then he just showed up later. Stood around. Then left. And it's felt like that just is how it's been since.

He just wasted time acting like nothing matters is how it feels.