smurf it.

I am so ready to walk away from this relationship. My SO is a complete dick face. I am just tired of feeling like I am 1 inch tall. He calls me names almost daily and just now when I texted him and told him I wanted to do night classes for hair styling he said no. That he didn't want me to be gone at night when I should be home with them. Excuse me? I am home ALL day,everyday because I am not allowed to do anything fun or have a life at all. I don't know why I can't just walk away from his smurf. I'm a pussy.

Leave, he's way controlling.

You have to decide what your rock bottom is and either wait for it, and let yourself become more damaged. Or you can figure out your self worth, set your standards higher, and start making moves.

You can walk away from this.

I feel guilty? I don't want my kids to have the life I did. I don't want my mom to have to keep us up because I don't work. I keep looking for the easy way out and hope he will cheat or something. I just...hate who I am. Who he has made me,or who he has made me not to be. I feel like a failure because I can't walk away,for myself.

Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" Leave, he's way controlling."

    

Quoting Red Bottom:" You have to decide what your rock bottom is and either wait for it, and let yourself become more damaged. Or you can figure out your self worth, set your standards higher, and start making moves."

 

What about trying counselling?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mother of One plus One:</b>" I feel guilty? I don't want my kids to have the life I did. I don't want my mom to have to keep us up ... [snip!] ... who I am. Who he has made me,or who he has made me not to be. I feel like a failure because I can't walk away,for myself."</blockquote>



If you can't walk away for yourself can you walk away for your kids? They shouldn't see their father treating their mother like this. I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Nobody should be. I'm not judging you, I just want to help you see you need to leave before it becomes worse.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mother of One plus One:</b>" I feel guilty? I don't want my kids to have the life I did. I don't want my mom to have to keep us up ... [snip!] ... who I am. Who he has made me,or who he has made me not to be. I feel like a failure because I can't walk away,for myself."</blockquote>




You described two things.

Not being able to afford it.

But that cheating would make it easy.

So what's the real issue? Money or emotions?

Your kids have two miserable parents at the moment. They didn't do anything to deserve that.

Work two jobs. Work three jobs. What would you want YOUR daughter to do in your situation?

Quoting Mother of One plus One:" I feel guilty? I don't want my kids to have the life I did. I don't want my mom to have to keep us up ... [snip!] ... who I am. Who he has made me,or who he has made me not to be. I feel like a failure because I can't walk away,for myself."

You need to make a plan for yourself and stick with it. If you are unhappy with him don't stay in the relationship.

Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mother of One plus One:</b>" I feel guilty? I don't want my ... [snip!] ... do anything to deserve that. Work two jobs. Work three jobs. What would you want YOUR daughter to do in your situation?"

Outstanding question!

OP, seriously, don't feel guilty. If there's anything you've done wrong here, it's stay with him and allow him to continue treating you this way. You should have put a stop to it the first time it happened. He has NO RIGHT to treat you this way, and you have every right to leave. Just get up and go. Otherwise it's just going to get worse.

Quoting Mother of One plus One:" I feel guilty? I don't want my kids to have the life I did. I don't want my mom to have to keep us up ... [snip!] ... who I am. Who he has made me,or who he has made me not to be. I feel like a failure because I can't walk away,for myself."

You don't want your kids to have the life you did? How about your kids growing up being emotionally abused?
If you can't walk away for yourself; walk away for them.

Quoting Mother of One plus One:" I feel guilty? I don't want my kids to have the life I did. I don't want my mom to have to keep us up ... [snip!] ... who I am. Who he has made me,or who he has made me not to be. I feel like a failure because I can't walk away,for myself."

Wouldn't your mom rather do that for her daughter and grandkids then to have you subjected to this daily?

I wouldn't want her to stay. To AP, I can't afford to leave. I don't work. And I want to leave because I am tired. Tired of being told I'm lazy,that I'm a n***** lover,that I'm sorry and everytime we fight he just tells me to leave. He is tired of it. Tired of what? I just feel like I failed. I failed my kids. Its eaiser to pretend for them.