I'm a single mother too a 4 month old. Her father and I split when I was almost 5 months pregnant. He would rather go party, smoke, and be with friends instead of help me. And He ended up getting back together with one of his ex girlfriends and this is the same ex that was trying to break us up by starting up a rumor that I slept with multiple guys while I was with him. And also that my daughter wasn't his child. Well turns out she told him when I was 5 months pregnant that she was also 5 months along and that it was his baby too. Her daughter is also 4 days older the mine. And ofcourse he believed her lies. And they got together and I cut him out of my life after all that. He told me he wants to be there for his daughter but yet he has done nothing for her. He was the one who left her for another women and her baby. His friends partying and smoking were way more important to him then his daughter. I do not know what to do about him. He's just a mess. And is also on probation for another year. And I don't want my daughter to grow up without him in her life nor be around all the bad habits he has picked up with the chick he is now seeing. He contacted me when I was in labor wanting to be there but I ignored it because I know he'd just stress me out. And he even tried seeing her a couple months after she was born. But he never seems to care and never makes the effort to see her or be there. But he tries to make it seem like he wants to be there so badly, yet he does nothing about it. He just continues to take care of that other baby instead. We recently got DNA tests done. And it turns out he is not the father to the baby that he has been taking care of. He is the father to my daughter though. And yesterday he came over and watched my daughter for me and this was the first time he has EVER seen her. He has been by his current girlfriends side since she was 5 months pregnant and he even was present for that babies birth and has been raising her since day one. My parents DO NOT want him around me or his daughter. He also is not on her birth certificate and my daughter has my last name not his. He evn signed himself as his girlfriends daughters father and her daughter even has his middle name and last name. My whole family is very pissed and disappointed with me for letting him see her. Because he has done all this damage and doesn't deserve to see her. They have helped me support her and I do not want to let them down. But I do not want my daughter without a father. My mom spoke to him and asked why he left us he said "I didn't think we'd work out and I don't want our child to grow up with parents who fight a lot." "I also did not have a father while growing up and I do not want that to happen to my girlfriends baby, that is why I am still with her." Yet he has not been a part of his own daughters life. He is more concerned about his girlfriends baby then his own. Just because his girlfriends babies father wants nothing to do with her or his baby. So he'd much rather have his own daughter suffer without a father? That just makes no sense to me? I have no idea why he wants to stay with her even after she lied to his face and his family. He has no ties to her at all. And he'd rather care for someone else's child then his own? I need some insight and advice. No one knows what I am going through. And I am tired of my family criticizing me and telling me how to raise my daughter and telling me I am being dumb for letting him see her and that I should never have spoke to him. They all want him to sign his rights over. And I agree he should. If he wants to continue to raise someone else's kid and not his own. I just want whats best for my daughter so I am trying to do the right thing here. After all the pain and stress her dad has put me through during my pregnancy. I was willing to be a mature adult about everything and push all the things he's done aside and let him be there. But my family disapproves of all of this. I just wanna know what you gals think I should do? Keep him out of her life like I have been doing. Or let him be there? It is a tough decision to make on my own. Please do not bash me or leave rude and negative comments. I am a new mom. This is all so new for me. I just want my family to understand where I am coming from and why I am allowing him to see her. But I also DO NOT want him to be in and out of her life because that will do a lot more damage to her then him not being in her life what so ever. Thank you for listening and understanding. Now leave me with some great advice and help. I appreciate it all.
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