Baby blues vs ppd men and women

How can I tell the difference? I had preg depression so I'm already on Wellbutrin. But I just cry constantly. I have no issues taking care of the baby. That doesn't frustrate me or stress me out at all. It's just I'm sad. I'm still in a ton of pain from my csection. I hate that I was hospitalized for so long. I hate my delivery. The nicu stay did a number on me. I don't feel at home now that I'm home. I sleep on te couch cause i don't even feel comfortable sleeping with SO. I want to feel affection and love but he seems to be experiencing ppd (if that's possible with men). We are both stressed and traumatized from all this crap we went through. He's afraid to hurt dd cause she's so small and he feels like he doesn't have a bond with her. He only held her two times in the hospital. Once in recovery while waiting for me and once inthe nicu cause I made him. We both feel like we're just going through the motions of life. We do what we need to do like take care of te kids and house and he goes to work and all. But there's just no emotional connection between us because neither of us have the energy to add anything extra to the basic needs of life. Is this just an adjustment period or do we need some professional help? I thought about getting us into counseling. But we have nowhere for te kids to go and I don't trust anyone alone with the baby yet.

Since you just had her, I'm going to say it's an adjustment period. I went through the same thing. I adored DS2 and loved taking care of him but I was weepy all the time. And my delivery with him went exactly how I wanted. DH didn't seem to be concerned about anything at all and quite frankly, I just wanted him to leave me the hell alone so I could spend all my time with the baby. I know a lot of men are hesitant to bond with infants right away and they feel weird around their wives especially if they are breastfeeding because they kind of feel left out.

If your feelings get worse or don't go away in another week or so, I suggest counseling. You by yourself or with DH. You guys can take the baby, it's not like she's going to understand what's going on lol.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Since you just had her, I'm going to say it's an adjustment period. I went through the same thing. I ... [snip!] ... You by yourself or with DH. You guys can take the baby, it's not like she's going to understand what's going on lol. "</blockquote>

It's so frusterating. I just expected to come home and feel Better and it's almost worse. I don't feel "at home" anymore. I hate that I don't want to sleep in my bed. Sam had no issues bonding with lylian. He says he's cared to hurt Scarlytt since Shes a preemie. And he's afraid to touch me cause of the csection. It makes me feel disgusting. We had a scare the other night where Scarlytt choked on milk(pedi said its probably gerd) and turned blue and we had to call ems. I don't think that helped. I think He's more afraid now that he won't know what to do if it happens again. And it scares me too. Since she BFs through the night I'm afraid I'll go back to sleep while she's nursing and shell choke and I won't know. I wasn't half as scared with lylian as I am with Scarlytt. I'm afraid with her being early that she's just gonna stop breathing for no reason. I feel like it'll get better as she gets older and stronger. But I don't wanna keep pushing it off and feel
Worse and worse. I have like no self esteem cause I hate my pp body. Not so much the weight cause the weight is melting off no problem but this huge hideous scar I have. I hate being in pain. I feel gross even when I shower cause of the pp bleeding. I'm all sweaty all the time cause of hormones and tryin to keep the house warmer for an infant. I still have to wear maternity pants cause regular pants hurt my incision. And then on top of it Sam not wanting to touch me doesn't help.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Since you just had her, I'm going to say ... [snip!] ... to wear maternity pants cause regular pants hurt my incision. And then on top of it Sam not wanting to touch me doesn't help."

Remember that everything is going to bother you like 100x more now than it would any other time in your life because of the rapid shift in hormones. Your body just went through surgery - give it time! The wound looks ugly now but soon you won't even notice it, or care. Sam is still attracted to you but he's not going to show it now because he figures with all the stress, sex and feeling sexy are the LAST things on your mind. If he is like any other decent husband[which from what you post he seems like a great guy] he would feel like a dick making any type of comment about your body, good or bad.

All guys always bond with their first better in the beginning. DH was the same way with our first. He took over caring for him when I was in the hospital with PPP. Now with our second he is EBF and really attached to me so DH kind of feels like the 3rd wheel around us. Maybe yours feels the same?

Having a preemie is not easy. They are smaller and more fragile, and you feel like you're a new mother all over again because she's so much different than your first. Time will fix this too. She'll gain weight and grow and thrive. You're breastfeeding which is the absolute best thing you can do at this time.

Hang in there, mama. Your family went through a traumatic event. Even though things are going good now, it's going to take awhile to recover physically and mentally.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Remember that everything is going to bother you like 100x more now than it would any other time in ... [snip!] ... a traumatic event. Even though things are going good now, it's going to take awhile to recover physically and mentally. "</blockquote>

Thanks sweetie. Im just afraid to let it go too long when I should get help so I guess I just needed to know its normal. Thanks  

Dont ignore the depression signs. I ended up with full blown PPD because I ignored it. At first it was just a feeling of disconnect, but then it escalated. It has been the worst expeience of my life and I feel like I've been robbed of these first 5 months of my daughter's life. Talking to someone might be a good idea . It usually takes a long time to get an appointment anyway so it might be wise to schedule one. Then if you dont need it you can always cancel.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Remember that everything is going to ... [snip!] ... sweetie. Im just afraid to let it go too long when I should get help so I guess I just needed to know its normal. Thanks  "

No problem! Like I said, if it gets worse, that's when you get help. But it may subside. Hope you feel better soon.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Addy & Grace's Mom:</b>" Dont ignore the depression signs. I ended up with full blown PPD because I ignored it. At first it was ... [snip!] ... a long time to get an appointment anyway so it might be wise to schedule one. Then if you dont need it you can always cancel."</blockquote>

Thanks. I think I will get an appt to be safe. So far it's not towards the baby. Mostly with being back home and with SO.