I just don't understand (as)

so I've been talking a lot to my bf about my procedure. he finally opened up to his mom and told her everything. he even told her how he reacted when I said I want to keep the baby. all he keeps telling me is how sorry he is and how he wishes he could take it back and everything.

well on Wednesday he went to my follow up appointment with me. my Dr told us both to be very careful because I will be extremely fertile. And that was the day I started my birth control, which she also said wouldn't be effective until the following Wednesday. well Thursday night my bf and I had sex for the first time...towards the end he says "can I come in you?" I for one was shocked. like really?! all I said was "are you sure that is a good idea" then he stops and said "okay your right" and ended up pulling out.
fast forward to last night. only the second time we had sex he does it again "can I come in you" again I was shocked. I just said "okay" thinking maybe he was testing me. but sure enough he wasn't. he can't in me without even thinking twice, then when I said I better go to planned parenthood to get some plan b he seemed surprised and said "why?"

I really don't get what is going through his head. he had been talking a lot about being a father and wanting to marry me. I just don't get it.

any ideas ladies? wwyd?

I'd sit down with him and discuss it when you're not mid-sex. You both need to know exactly what page you're on.

This sounds like a hot mess.

I honestly don't know why you're still with him.

To me it sounds like he feels guilty and/or regrets the decision you both made. It sounds like he thinks that will go away if he "replaces" the aborted baby with a new one. I personally wouldn't let him try to get me pregnant again, what if he gets scared again and decides he wants you to get an abortion again once the guilt dies down?

to me, it just sounds like he doesn't understand when or if the birth control is effective yet....

It sounds like his guilt over the situation is causing a roller coaster of idea and notions of babies and marriage.

I wouldn't do anything rash or make any life altering decisions until enough time has passed that both of your emotions have hit an even pace.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Masturkate TTC:</b>" This sounds like a hot mess."</blockquote>




 

Personally, I would remind myself of why I had my recent abortion in the first place, and quit having unprotected sex!

thanks ladies

I completely understand how u feel. the exact same thing happened to me with my husband before we were married. eventually I asked him why he was doing this and that I was emotionally drained from last time and he said basically guilt. he said he loved me and wanted to make it right and had no idea I would feel so down about it. I made him wait 4 years after we were married to be sure and when I found out I was pregnant this time he cried he was so happy. so I'm not saying wait that long but let him want it before you do it and really want it not just do it to try to make it right.

Quoting Supafly★:" I honestly don't know why you're still with him. "

This!

What a smurfing idiot.

what would i do?

stop having unprotected sex & get plan b.. also tell my bf that getting me pregnant wont replace the pregnancy that was aborted..

often people think it'll fill the void & make it all ok again.. it doesn't.

you've just gone through a life changing procedure, the last thing you need right now is to be pregnant when you're already emotionally drained.

give yourself & your body a break... to heal.

Is it all him? Or are you giving signals too, in no way shape or form am I judging you for anything, I cannot tell you I know anything about this situation because I've never actually been in it, but a few days ago you were talking about wanting your baby back and how it would be easy to get preggo etc, not saying that feeling is wrong, but maybe you both should sit down and talk about a clear life plan. Possibly make a list of individual goals you want to accomplish, and then goals you'd like to achieve together..stay on bc, and possibly get a time frame and plan in mind for when you do want children etc. It might help make the guilt some that you are having and he is having and it will give you something to work towards before you have your kids and give them a healthy upbringing all in one

I'm sorry if that was too straight forward..it didn't come out quite the way I was thinking it