Am I wrong?

Deleted Op.

While the cat thing I think you're completely in the right about...

The rest I'm on the fence about. It's your husband's sister, and your son's aunt, so I think you should have extended an invite. Also, how could she apologize (if she was going to) if you won't speak to her?

I would have done exactly what you did. If they can't apologize then I wouldn't be putting forth the extra effort to fix things. She can come to your house & apologize in person. You deserve more than a petty phone call

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:</b>" I would have done exactly what you did. If they can't apologize then I wouldn't be putting forth the ... [snip!] ... the extra effort to fix things. She can come to your house & apologize in person. You deserve more than a petty phone call"</blockquote>




!!!!!!!!!"

I strongly believe that no one should have to keep company that causes them any type of distress. I don't talk to my inlaws which bothers SO, but I have valid reasons and he has to accept that... I swear in laws just go psycho when their sons grow up lol because mine freaks out over stupid things as well lol

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Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:" I would have done exactly what you did. If they can't apologize then I wouldn't be putting forth the ... [snip!] ... the extra effort to fix things. She can come to your house & apologize in person. You deserve more than a petty phone call"

I totally agree.....

Those poor cats...  

Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" She insulted my mother, cursed at her, called her a whole bunch of names and we were having the party ... [snip!] ... an apology for being such a bitch and she could apologize to my mother as well, she knows how to contact her. I don't know."

I mean, if you've already made up your mind that that's how you want to handle it, that's fine. You know her better than I.

I certainly wouldn't leave an apology on an answering machine, but that's just me. THAT seems way more insincere than over the phone-- and I (again, me personally) would call someone and ask if they were willing to speak in person before I went to their house, if I wanted to apologize in person.

As far as your mom, I don't understand why she was calling her names, because she didn't want to give the cat up? That's low... but... really, it should be between your mom and her if that's their beef... though I did not know the party was at your mom's house. Honestly, I think refusing to speak with her is the part that I find childish. The not inviting, I understand. But speaking with her-- even if that means explaining why you're upset and angry, that's what I think the smart thing to do is. Then if you explain, and she doesn't understand/apologize/wants to keep stirring the pot-- that's her deal. But at least you've done what you can without just dropping it entirely.

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Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" She was mad at my mother because my mother had the cat, I guess? It makes NO sense at all. She didn't ... [snip!] ... you are saying though, and I am not trying to be childish and I surely don't want to seem that way if that's what I am doing."

Yeah, and I understand. If people are toxic, they're toxic.

But... I just see "well, I tried calling her and she didn't pick up my phone calls so now I'm not going to pick up her phone calls"... that's just what is a little off to me. You know? I absolutely understand why you're upset. But doing the same thing she's doing because she did it first.... eh. It just seems like answering her call, and telling her you're upset for X, Y, and Z... and then telling her that you will speak with her when she calms down about the situation and apologizes to your mom... seems like the more adult thing to do. But if you don't want to, and just think that would make it worse, it is what it is.

Honestly the whole cats thing youwere completely in the right about.. With the family idk because I also dont know what has happened in tha past. I know that with my own MIL people think why we have stopped talking to her is petty but its everything else in the past leading up.

I would not have invited my SIL if she did that and honestly I wouldnt be speaking to her either. IF she actually wanted to applogize she could come over.

Wait.

So your SIL's friend got mad at her and refused to talk to her because of the cat? Am I reading that right?\

If so, I can understand why your SIL took this out on you, even if she's in the wrong for doing so.

And if that's the case, I think you both need to apologize. Her for insulting you and your mom and you for messing up one of her friendships. It seems completely ridiculous to have to apologize for that but sometimes, we have to do things we don't like doing.