TTC after

Has anyone experienced Birth Trauma/Rape?
How did you feel when deciding to TTC again?

My birth experience with my younger boy traumatized me. It was awful. They sedated me the second he was out and I was afraid to hold him for a few hours.. Then I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I was dreading giving birth, even considered requesting a csection and closer to the end felt very panicky... I only pushed with her for three minutes but that whole three minutes I was waiting to feel the horrible pain I did with my son... I closed my eyes and just relaxed.. that pain never came, only pressure, then it was over.Now I have faith that if I have another one everything will be ok.

Quoting ~mama~:" My birth experience with my younger boy traumatized me. It was awful. They sedated me the second he was ... [snip!] ... that pain never came, only pressure, then it was over.Now I have faith that if I have another one everything will be ok. "

I'm sorry Mama, but I'm glad you were healed by your second birth!
what happened though, can I ask? why did they sedate you?
you can pm me if you dont want to share publicly.

I'm not really sure, I just know I was in sooooooooo much pain like my body was being crushed and I couldn't move and was begging them to like help pull him out and they wouldn't. I wasn't even pushing very long, and it felt like hours. Then they gave me a shot and I woke up about an hour later.  

It was the complete opposite of my other two births and he was the second one so it wasn't like I was exaggerating how much pain I was in, it was the worst thing I've ever been though.