Quoting Mom of Tristan/Rayah +1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting GL♣PB:</b>" Basically.. My husband was her husbands boss ... [snip!] ... better. I wouldn't be giving my husband a option if he up and did that to us. But I'm a hard ass and my family comes first."
I agree with all of this, but I can also see other alternatives.
Playing the devil's advocate here, but maybe he's just having a crisis of age here. He is realizing that he's in his 30s, has a wife and children, and that his freedom is basically gone, and that is scaring him. He wanted to do something for himself, so he did. I'm not saying it was right, but that could have been what he is thinking.
Is there any way that you could get a job for a little bit to pay the bills? Maybe give him a chance to have a little freedom and play housewife, until he realizes that he needs to put his family first?
I think that you should have someone watch your kids for a night, and the two of you go out to eat, have some free time together, maybe do something fun, and have a serious talk. Let him know that the two of you can still have free time every once in a while, and be a couple, as well as being parents and keeping up with your responsibilities. As a PP said, maybe try to discuss with him and have an open mind, and not go on attack mode.
Just a thought. Either way, good luck!