re: Would your husband do this?

what my male friend had to say about this.


Wow. No I wouldn't leave over that. Hubby feels disrespected for sure. So that needs to be dealt with first. She's annoyed that he keeps doing this with their kids... So instead of trying to pull them out, talk to him about it.

I know he doesn't have a mistress, he's not that type of guy. He's not the type to put a hand on a woman either He knows better then that.. His explanation was that he "thought I was going to break them" I know how important ciggs are for him, just as they are for me. He should know I wouldn't do such a thing.
Like I said before, he's never put his hands on me, so its a total shock to me.
I'm pretty sure it wasn't an impulse because I was having a hard time trying to get them out, our daughter was laying on that side of him. I dug for about 30 seconds until he grabbed my wrist.
It just really bothers me. I don't put up with that crap. Would or will I leave over him doing that? Probably not, If it happens again yes I will.
I believe NO man should put his hands on a woman and I stick to that. Always will!  

Quoting Mommymilkcow:" I know he doesn't have a mistress, he's not that type of guy. He's not the type to put a hand on a woman ... [snip!] ... not, If it happens again yes I will. I believe NO man should put his hands on a woman and I stick to that. Always will!  "

so you dont think hes hiding anything (niether do I fyi) and you dont think it was impluse....so just what do you think it was about?

You think after all these years your man is now trying to strong hand you?

I think that if he isn't the violent type and has never laid a hand on you either then he probably didn't realise he grabbed you so hard. I mean it's not like he hit or pushed you etc.

You say you won't stand for it again which is a good attitude to have however perhaps you should consider he might not stand for your actions again either because I'll tell you something if I had someone forcibly trying to physically fish around in my pockets whilst I was holding my child it would be me putting my foot down. What makes you think you have the right to physically fish around on his person whilst he's holding his baby? If you think his cig packet is going to be scratching your babies face I'm pretty damn sure your nails poking around at the same place whilst he is trying to get away from you are at risk of scratching/poking your child.

My SO would never lay a finger on me! I've been raised and taught at young age not to put up with that smurf either.

I think his excuse is a load of crap. He was afraid you would break his cigarettes so he violently grabbed your wrist? No way. It takes more than a little grab to break a pack of cigarettes anyway. You simply gesturing to pull them out wouldn't have harmed a thing and he knows that.

If I were you I would have stopped right then and there and said, "You can either let me grab what's in your pocket or explain what's going on right this very minute. You will NEVER touch me like that again."

Of course it's too late for that now. Another poster suggested he could have been hiding something and that's what it sounds like to me too. I was with a man for two years and something similar happened. I said the same stuff you did... "He wouldn't cheat, he knows better, etc. etc." But one night we were messing around and I playfully grabbed his cell phone to change the moniker (which we used to do all the time for fun) and he FLIPPED. He snatched the phone out of my hand and yelled at me which he had never, ever done before. Come to find out there were text messages between him and my best friend and the rest is history.

Now you obviously can't just assume anything that grandiose based on the fact that he grabbed your wrist as it would be incredibly unfair to make such an accusation based on such little "evidence." However, I still wanted to mention the above story because to me it seems like you need to start opening your eyes a little more and being extra vigilant at this point. In addition to that you need to tell him he will NEVER lay a hand on you again. Don't ask him not to, tell him not to.

With all that being said maybe he was just being dumb and accidentally grabbed your hand too hard but why even bother to begin with? I put myself in that situation and I would never grab someone's wrist if they reached for my pocket, especially if they were my spouse. That is just such bizarre behavior... There's always another side to the story though so don't jump to any conclusions. All you can do is ask him what the hell happened, tell him he can never touch you like that again, and be sure to pay attention to any discrepancies in the future.

He should apologize to you in FRONT of your kids ( depending on age and not the newborn obviously) so they know this is wrong.