Vent about SO and his "baby mama"

don't quote me please.


my SO has a 2 year old son with another woman. He has visitations by court order every other weekend and every tuesday of every week. This woman has played mulitple games with him.. not letting him take him on his days is a big issue. He's supposedly taken her to court several times for breaking court order, and nothing happens to her. he's asked the police to escort him to pick up his son when she does this, and supposedly they've refused.

Then on other hands, there's been times where she REFUSES to let him drop his son back off on Sunday. Take this weekend for instance. His son is typically dropped back off with her at 7 pm on Sunday. My SO works m-f. She just sent him a message saying, "I'm going to NH today.. I won't be home. I didn't make arrangements for B, so you need to call out of work and take care of him. I don't know when i'll be home."

To me, that seems like some sort of .. neglect? I mean clearly I understand he's in good hands and is with his father... but how is it okay for her to do this? It isn't the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

I guess this is more of a vent, but I'm just highly agitated with this woman and how she treats SO.

He actually bit the bullet the other night and tried to have a nice convo with her letting her know we were buying a house.. and that i'm pregnant, he didn't even get to the pregnancy, because the minute he mentioned living together, she flipped out and started insulting me because my daughter's father is not involved in her life. remind you she's currently married to a soldier in afghanistan, but is living with / dating another man she met online. She moved in with him a few weeks ago without telling SO.

its friggin bullsmurf. she knows she has your SO wrapped around her finger.. so yes, her son is cared for.

tell him to grow some balls and get this hammered out.

Sounds like her and SO's ex need to meet and bitch to each other. His ex is all the same, but their son is 7, she down right refuses SO to take his son if I'm with him  

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" its friggin bullsmurf. she knows she has your SO wrapped around her finger.. so yes, her son is cared for. tell him to grow some balls and get this hammered out."

I agree.

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" its friggin bullsmurf. she knows she has your SO wrapped around her finger.. so yes, her son is cared for. tell him to grow some balls and get this hammered out."

seriously. i've told him so many times. and he keeps telling me i don't understand.. that i don't get it because i have my daughter 24/7 .. blahblah.. he asks what i expec thim to do.. and i told him take her to court every single time. no matter the results. take the court order everywhere, if she refuses to let the kid go, then call the cops immediately and ask for an escrot.. if they say no, then call the court and file another date. if HE was breaking the court order, he'd be in trouble.

i hate to sound.. "selfish" but i'm really not okay with anotehr woman having such a big part of our "relationship".. we can't plan our weekends with his son, because she will change everything ... decide he can't come.. decide he has to be home earlier or what have you.

Quoting ℓise ♥:" Sounds like her and SO's ex need to meet and bitch to each other. His ex is all the same, but their son is 7, she down right refuses SO to take his son if I'm with him  "

that's insane. we thought forsure she was going to do the same thing when she found out about me. instead she flipped out in a public place and had her friends show up to yell at SO. lol. what is wrong with some of these women

She's playing him. It's not neglect because she knows your SO will come to the rescue. She's just being inconsiderate. Unfortunately the court systems always favor the mother so he probably won't get much help there.

he needs to keep a journal of everytime she goes against the visitation order and also when she does things like she's done today and then take that to court with him....I totally agree with one of the other posters that he needs to man up and get this taken care of, even if it means hiring a lawyer.

Quoting Kenzie Doll.:" seriously. i've told him so many times. and he keeps telling me i don't understand.. that i don't ... [snip!] ... his son, because she will change everything ... decide he can't come.. decide he has to be home earlier or what have you. "

welll you're totally off base on the "other woman" and having "control" onver your relationship... please dont see it like that... i have a "baby mama" too -- its awful, trust me... our situation is a little different. the "baby mama" was in a position of trust in my inlaws family, and raped my husband as a young teen ager, when she was a an older 20-something. 28 i believe? anyWHO... yes i understand you. let it go as much as possible.. YOU have him... she is a smurf bag dick sucker whore... just chill out lady!

Quoting Supafly★:" She's playing him. It's not neglect because she knows your SO will come to the rescue. She's just being ... [snip!] ... just being inconsiderate. Unfortunately the court systems always favor the mother so he probably won't get much help there. "

True. She's been playing him since day one. She gets 200$ a week in child support, plus he was giving her extra.. and he's paying daycare costs even though she constantly quits her jobs.. and doesn't report it to the state. It's all just so crazy. Earlier in the relationship, he told me I needed to deal with how he does things with her .. i wasnt' content with that answer since overall, it affects me/my family/etc. Wish there was more that could be done.

Quoting *mommy to 3*:" he needs to keep a journal of everytime she goes against the visitation order and also when she does ... [snip!] ... agree with one of the other posters that he needs to man up and get this taken care of, even if it means hiring a lawyer."

he def has one.. he's taken her back to court at least 5 times.. using a lawyer each time to no avail. ;/

Quoting Kenzie Doll.:"

If he's content with paying out the ass and placating to her needs and whims, there isn't much you can do other than suck it up or tell him how unhappy you are. You said you've talked to him about it and he says deal with it - it's up to you whether you want to or not.

Quoting Supafly★:" If he's content with paying out the ass and placating to her needs and whims, there isn't much you ... [snip!] ... unhappy you are. You said you've talked to him about it and he says deal with it - it's up to you whether you want to or not. "

True. If I wasn't pregnant, it'd be a simple answer. I'm sure pregnancy hormones are coming into play with all of this, but nonetheless, completely frustrating situation.

Quoting Kenzie Doll.:" True. If I wasn't pregnant, it'd be a simple answer. I'm sure pregnancy hormones are coming into play with all of this, but nonetheless, completely frustrating situation."

Sounds like it. Is he interested in maybe getting more visitation/custody? If he hasn't tried already.

Quoting Supafly★:" Sounds like it. Is he interested in maybe getting more visitation/custody? If he hasn't tried already. "

He has joint custody. I believe in actuality, that his court order is every weekend and every tuesday.. but he made an agreement with her that she could have every other weekend and he could have every thursday in addition. she took thursdays away from him a few months ago when she got pissed at him. i don't know why he doesn't pursue the every weekend aspect honestly . I know he wants as much time with his son as he can get.