re: Vent about SO and his "baby mama"

Quoting Kenzie Doll.:" He has joint custody. I believe in actuality, that his court order is every weekend and every tuesday.. ... [snip!] ... don't know why he doesn't pursue the every weekend aspect honestly . I know he wants as much time with his son as he can get. "

He's probably getting manipulated. But honestly, it's his problem since he's the one that doesn't push it. I know it's frustrating for you but you're going to have your own child to worry about. Try not to let her stress you out.

Quoting Supafly★:" He's probably getting manipulated. But honestly, it's his problem since he's the one that doesn't push ... [snip!] ... it. I know it's frustrating for you but you're going to have your own child to worry about. Try not to let her stress you out. "

True. I'm not good at this stuff haha. I've made it ap oint to date people who didn't have kids for awhile, because I just hate dealing with the drama. But alas, the things you do for love/family.

This is such a sucky situation. The one who's really getting hurt here is the child. I dont understand how as a mother she doesnt see that keeping him from his dad or getting off schedule and routine and not being consistent is bad for the child. I'm a "baby mama" I guess you could say. My relationship was HELL with my ex. But thats not my child's fault and I NEVER put him in the middle of it, even before I went to court and got custody. Which I only did b/c my ex would threaten not to bring my child back when he was mad at me. I gave my ex more visitation then the court was going to order and I am always civil with him, even if he's not with me because thats whats best for my child. I hope that somewhere down the road all 3 of you can get along (not saying its your fault you're not) and put the child's best interests first.

Quoting *mommy to 3*:" This is such a sucky situation. The one who's really getting hurt here is the child. I dont understand ... [snip!] ... down the road all 3 of you can get along (not saying its your fault you're not) and put the child's best interests first."

absolutely. I had made plans to "meet" her" and allow her to meet my daughter/etc.. so she should see who was around her son. She blew off the plans to meet. This was after SHE had thrown the fit to meet me to begin wtih. As a mother, I can undersatnd why she'd be upset that another woman is near her child... which is why i was willing to meet her and provide her with some comfort there. She's just... a mess.
she ordered a home visit on him, had him followed at work, had all his friends/family interviewed, etc. He's a good guy, really good job, etc. She should consider herself lucky to have a GOOD "baby daddy."

I'm stuck in an opposite situation. My daughter's father is a deadbeat. He hasn't seen her willingly since Christmas of 2011. Owes me 8000$ in child support. We actually have another court date in a fwe weeks, and he is being prosecuted by the state for contempt of court with child support. ;/

My Ex owes me ALOT of back child support too, and he has been convicted of DUI twice. He lives with his parents though so i never worry about the safety of my son. Plus he is a good dad when my son is there, he's just an irresponsible person. I actually really liked his last g/f. She was great with my son, he loved spending time with her. She was sociable to me. I introduced myself to her one day while they were dropping him back off and I guess it suprised them both. But who he dates is none of my concern (I am happily married), my ONLY concern is how that person treats my child and how that person presents themselves to my child. I wish all "baby mamas" understood this. Some of them do have legitimate reasons to keep their kids away from their ex's or their new so's, BUT some of them do it just for spite or jealousy. And that makes me sad

Quoting *mommy to 3*:" he needs to keep a journal of everytime she goes against the visitation order and also when she does ... [snip!] ... agree with one of the other posters that he needs to man up and get this taken care of, even if it means hiring a lawyer."

I agree with this.

I have a friend that is in this issue. His ex. is in total control, and usually never wants her daughter. She's more interested in her new current beau.
After months of him telling what she does and doesn't do of their agreement I just can't help but spazz.
Record all this. Keep all texts. Have friends and family members watch and help be witness and than bring her ass in...

I hope things get better for you guys. I can only imagine how frustrating that truly is.

Quoting *mommy to 3*:" My Ex owes me ALOT of back child support too, and he has been convicted of DUI twice. He lives with his ... [snip!] ... their kids away from their ex's or their new so's, BUT some of them do it just for spite or jealousy. And that makes me sad"

i'll be the first to admit that when BD and i broke up, i held a lot of hostility and didn't want him taking my chidl alone, etc.. but i obviously had to get over that and deal with it. unfortunately, he never had enough ... commitment to being a father to even take her. he's never had an unsupervised visit..

i hear SO many stories about women who have GREAT baby daddys.. but they just refuse to let them be there for their child. it's sickening.

Quoting Sue_Brown:" I agree with this. I have a friend that is in this issue. His ex. is in total control, and usually ... [snip!] ... witness and than bring her ass in... I hope things get better for you guys. I can only imagine how frustrating that truly is."

It's unfortunate that courts usually don't do anything when the mother isn't following court order. I'm hoping that he will do all of what you said and bring her back to court again.. i know it costs money to continue to file the paperwork, but overall, she needs to know she can't get away with it.

Quoting Kenzie Doll.:" It's unfortunate that courts usually don't do anything when the mother isn't following court order. ... [snip!] ... again.. i know it costs money to continue to file the paperwork, but overall, she needs to know she can't get away with it. "

True, it is hard. At times the only thing that can work is if you can prove/show she's being an unfit mother. Frustrating.
But everything saved/people to back you up the better.

Quoting Sue_Brown:" True, it is hard. At times the only thing that can work is if you can prove/show she's being an unfit mother. Frustrating. But everything saved/people to back you up the better. "

Very true. I guess we shall see if my SO steps up and starts sticking up for himself .

Quoting Kenzie Doll.:" seriously. i've told him so many times. and he keeps telling me i don't understand.. that i don't ... [snip!] ... his son, because she will change everything ... decide he can't come.. decide he has to be home earlier or what have you. "

I wouldnt tell her anything if you have things planned, keep it between you and your man.. oh and btw she sounds like a bitch.. sorry...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kenzie Doll.:</b>" that's insane. we thought forsure she was going to do the same thing when she found out about me. instead ... [snip!] ... she flipped out in a public place and had her friends show up to yell at SO. lol. what is wrong with some of these women"</blockquote>

  a lot!