Family Guilting Me Over A Name

Long story short, I named my son Ehren Riley (First and Middle). They're both names that have been in my family for several generations. When my husband adopted my son a year ago, we "gifted" him my husband's (and father-in-laws) middle name of Lyle. Ehren Riley Lyle.

Today at a birthday party, one of my cousins started bothering me about when we were going to have more kids (this happens at every family function since my M/C two years ago), and then the topic came up of my son's two middle names. He and his wife started telling me how crappy they think it is that Ehren has two middle names and the rest of our children will only have one. I just told them that was the point, that he has that special gift from daddy. He was old enough when the adoption happened that he partly understands it. He knows that daddy signed papers promising to always love him and take care of him, but he doesn't know that he is not his real daddy. We plan on telling him one day (which my cousin also doesn't agree with), but I don't get why my cousin and his wife find that so horrible?!

I'm wanting others' opinion on this... am I really that mean for planning on one middle name for my future children, or are my cousins just being smurfs?

They sound like ass holes

I'm pretty sure your future children won't feel left out if the only have one middle name

I say.... Smurf Em.

smurfs, i think its a cute idea

I have one kid with two middle names and two kids with one middle name only.

Technically, with the name being hyphenated, it's one name.

I'd tell them to piss off, I like the name.  

Tell them to shove it sideways. If they are that worried about naming babies, tell them to name their own. I think it is a sweet idea and I think it underlines his connection with your DH.

Thank you ladies. I made sure when I was there, I really stood my ground. Then when I got home, I thought, why did I even let them question me?! And then I just started to feel really down. I won't change my stance , I am just really interested to hear some "outsider's" opinions on this.

All my kids have 3 middle names. I was given 3 middle names. Tell them to stick it! What you guys did was a very special thing!

I think they are smurfs and I think it's a really cute, special thing between your DH and your son. I love that idea.

I don't agree with not letting him know that he isn't his biological father. The adoption would have been a perfect opportunity to let him know. It could have been like "a different person helped make you but now daddy is signing these papers to promise that he will love you and take care of you forever". But to each their own.

<blockquote><b>Quoting I AM TRON:</b>" Long story short, I named my son Ehren Riley (First and Middle). They're both names that have been in ... [snip!] ... this... am I really that mean for planning on one middle name for my future children, or are my cousins just being smurfs? "</blockquote>


I think its a wonderful gift. Your other kids wont care at all. However, let me just correct one thing... he IS your son's REAL daddy. Just not his biological one and as long as he understands that when you explain to him someday he will be fine.

Quoting Skyelynn---38 wks:" <blockquote><b>Quoting I AM TRON:</b>" Long story short, I named my son Ehren Riley ... [snip!] ... REAL daddy. Just not his biological one and as long as he understands that when you explain to him someday he will be fine."

That's what I meant  

I love what you did. I wouldn't pay them any mind.

Quoting MommaSav2:" I think they are smurfs and I think it's a really cute, special thing between your DH and your son. ... [snip!] ... but now daddy is signing these papers to promise that he will love you and take care of you forever". But to each their own."

We had considered it, but we didn't think he was old enough to understand that concept without being really confused. =\ I think he would get it now, but we have decided to wait until he asks more about the adoption, or when we celebrate the 5 year mark... which ever comes first. =]