Quoting Morgan Sanders:" Thanks, it helps a lot. :/ I definitely have a lot to figure out. I've already gotten to the point where ... [snip!] ... and stable environment with ONE parent, than a crazy, alcoholic never- know- whats- gonna- happen- next one with two parents."
If you pushed for you and him to stay together he would probably leave anyway but just pretend that he does stay.
When domestic violence shows up it is almost ALWAYS there to stay. Then abuser has to be very committed to change and it often dose not show up so early. In his situation it might only be from drinking till he is blacked out.. he might not do that if he was sober.... but anyway
He is not sober and will not be! Do not let your self think he will be unless he joins a program or goes into treatment. He is not ready to stop and that is what he said so please believe him. He wants to keep drinking and it will keep bring out this temper.
Being raised in a domestic violence situation rather it is verbal or physical is extremely damaging. Think... were you raised in a situation like that, I hope not, but sadly it is a cycle.
"Children from violent homes have higher risks of alcohol/drug abuse, post traumatic stress disorder, and juvenile delinquency. Witnessing domestic violence is the single best predictor of juvenile delinquency and adult criminality. It is also the number one reason children run away."
I know this is not how you dreamed it to be. And your whole life is not going to be what you dreamed. But you deserve so very much better. Someone who loves you and your family and wants to give you the world. You will find him. You are young... it takes time. I found mine when I was 29.
You will have a lot of very hard times but also a lot of very happy times... You can do so much with your life and give your love to someone who deserves it.
Don't be scared you will be OK! I know you will
and I think your having a boy