Anxiety over tearing again

With my first, I had a pretty large baby, and in comparison I'm a small person (5'1") and I ended up being induced, had a 21 hour labor and 4 difficult hours of active labor and ended up with a third degree tear that took at least 3 months to feel mostly normal, and this might be TMI but at least 6 months to wear a tampon and be intimate with my hubby again. They had talked about doing an emergency c-section but I was stubborn and they did a vacuum extraction instead. Looking back, I probably should have had the c-section. I am now 32 weeks pregnant with my second, and terrified of the same thing happening this time around. If this baby happens to be even bigger, I could be in for some pretty serious pain and possible incontinence if I tear again. I'm thinking about asking my midwife today if I could have an elective c-section. What are your thoughts? Has anyone had a serious tear with the first child but not the second? Keep in mind, I'm not talking a little normal tearing, I'm talking all the way back to my anus, yea... not pretty.

I tore the first time
And
Didn't the second!

Good luck mama!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Megan Keyser:</b>" With my first, I had a pretty large baby, and in comparison I'm a small person (5'1") and I ended up ... [snip!] ... the second? Keep in mind, I'm not talking a little normal tearing, I'm talking all the way back to my anus, yea... not pretty. "</blockquote>




I had a huge tear with my daughter on the inside and all the way up my cervix. My dd is 4 months and it still hurts to have sex. It took months for it to heal. I couldn't even let the doctor go up there for my pp checkup so I had to reschedule it. And I really want another baby but I'm also afraid of tearing like that again

I tore and had an episiotomy with my first and didn't tear at all with my second. The nurse did a perineum massage on me with oil before I delivered, so I would definitely talk to your midwife about that.... I really think it's what helped me not to tear.

Quoting -Kaysay-:" I tore and had an episiotomy with my first and didn't tear at all with my second. The nurse did a perineum ... [snip!] ... before I delivered, so I would definitely talk to your midwife about that.... I really think it's what helped me not to tear."

How bad was your tear, if you don't mind me asking? I would be "ok" with a small, easily repairable tear, but I don't think massage will prevent a third of fourth degree. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen. :/ I would kick myself this time if I had a c-section and ended up with a smaller baby, but I'd be incredibly relieved if I had the same or a larger baby. It's a very difficult decision, but I think I might still do an elective c-section just to avoid the situation. My husband is going away to basic training for the Air Force a month after my due date, and I don't want to be recovering from a massive tear all by myself. Plus... If given a choice I'd rather have a healing wound on my abdomen rather than my girly parts.

Quoting Megan Keyser:" How bad was your tear, if you don't mind me asking? I would be "ok" with a small, easily repairable ... [snip!] ... tear all by myself. Plus... If given a choice I'd rather have a healing wound on my abdomen rather than my girly parts. "

I don't remember (I was young), but it was enough to get a lot of stitches.

Honestly, I think it's something you should just talk to your midwife about. I don't think elective c-section is ever okay. If you get a chance, read more about massage, as it has shown over and over that it helps prevent tearing. There's lots of things you can do beforehand and during labor to prevent it as well. The risks of an elective c-section to the baby are WAY worse than tearing.

well me they cut me to avoid tearing and heal faster

I feel the same way. I had bad tearing with my daughter and recovery was terrible. AND (tmi) a week after I came home from having her one of my stitches got caught on my panties and ripped it completely out. It took close to 8 months for my area down there to feel normal again   I'm 18 weeks and dreading this birth  

I forgot to add that my doctor also used the vac on me. Pretty much without asking for no reason. I had been pushing only 45 mins. He came in, looked at me and said, "Are you tired?" Of course Im going to say yes. I had been in labor for 12 hours. Next thing I know he is using the vac on me. At the time I had no idea what it was or what the outcome was going to be because he had used it on me. Earlier on that day he had said he wanted to hurry up and get my baby out so he could go home for dinner. He ended up having to come back at 1:00 in the morning. Yeah, I switched OB's this time and they will not use a vac on me UNLESS it is necessary!!

I can definately understand your apprehension. I had a horrible delivery with my 1st - pushed for over 2 hours, vacuum and forceps both used, a 4th degree episiotomy and 156 stitches. I was so swollen down there they packed me with ice the first 24 hours and was in the hospital 4 days. It was a horrible recover and I too had problems for months. My 2nd delivery was a breeze - just a superficial tear and 8 stitches. I did not have any other stitches with any of my other 4. We tease my son that he sure paved the way for his brothers and sisters, lol. Good luck...I am sure it will be fine.  

Quoting friendlygirl626:" I can definately understand your apprehension. I had a horrible delivery with my 1st - pushed for over ... [snip!] ... 4. We tease my son that he sure paved the way for his brothers and sisters, lol. Good luck...I am sure it will be fine.  "

thanks, I'm leaning towards not having the elective c-section. My mind keeps jumping back and forth because I can't help imagining the worst-case scenario. He is breech though so I might not have a choice if he is stubborn and doesn't flip. Lets hope he flips these last few weeks so I DO at least have a choice! lol

wow reading all this is mAKING ME scared now.. i had a 2nd degree tear it wasnt bad just a few stitches i stopped takin the pain pils the day i left the hospital so it hurt like a bitch... but reading about 156 stitches OMG. how did yall poop??? because i remember when i pooped it hurt so bad and i wasnt torn all the way to my butt.... i pushed for 45 mins and i was 1 push away from them using the forceps the doctor said ok give us one big push and if shes not out we will have to use forceps and bam she came in that push. i have been nervous bout tearing again but seeing this just wow.

Quoting aubrees-mommy:" wow reading all this is mAKING ME scared now.. i had a 2nd degree tear it wasnt bad just a few stitches ... [snip!] ... out we will have to use forceps and bam she came in that push. i have been nervous bout tearing again but seeing this just wow."

Sorry, not trying to scare anyone! I talked with the midwife and she set me up a consultation with the doctor just so I can talk about having a c-section. She helped me feel better about a vaginal birth though, she said she's known a lot of women who even with a terrible tear the first time, they didn't tear the second time. I'm leaning towards having a vaginal birth if I have a choice. However, somebody is being stubborn and won't turn head down.   I found some things i can do to encourage him to turn, so wish me luck!