Feel like I'm failing as a parent - long

This may be a bit jumbled and I think it's more of a vent but I also am looking for help/tips on what to do.

So, I have a 3 year old and he's very smart but I don't think he gets enough stimulation just being at home all the time with either DH or me (we both work but opposite schedules). I signed him up for basketball thinking it will be great to get him started in an activity. Well, he hated it and after two practices and one game (that he refused to play in) we let him quit. I feel like smurf about it because that is not what we want to teach our son but there was no way to make him play without forcing him and he would just be on the court crying the whole time. I feel like he's different than all the other kids he has play dates with. He's shy, he talks constantly at home but he'll never answer a question straight, and especially not if anyone but DH and I are asking. I've tried sitting with him and working on writing letters and drawing shapes or using a preschool work book but he doesn't want to have anything to do with that. He knows/can identify all colors and shapes and numbers to 30, and has known all of this for over a year but feel like he hasn't progressed since then except for his speech. I don't know what to do. Do we just wait till we can start him in pre-k next August and hope that he'll listen to the teachers? I don't know when a behavior needs to be punished. For example, he'll pout and get upset about the stupidest things and I don't know what to do to teach him that there's no reason to be upset! DH will ask him normally to come over and get his cup and he'll pout like he's in trouble or something. DH thinks that time outs for that type of behavior will help, I feel like that's not the right way to handle it but what IS the right way?! I feel like I need to take a child phsycology class or something because I have no idea how to show him how to act. I just feel like he doesn't act the way I think he should and I know that it's wrong to think that way because every child is different. And at the same time I don't know how to parent a child that acts like this. I'm very confused and upset about it because obviously I want the best for him and to be nurturing to him and I just have no idea how.

I don't think you're failing. He's only 3, and at that age, my daughter went through a very awkward shy period.

As for the work books, Dd had no interest in them what so ever until she started pre k. It took a while for her to adjust, but she loves her teacher and behaves well at school.

And right now, Dd is a HUGE whiner. She whines about absolutely everything. So, when she gets whiney or pouty, I tell her that I can't understand her and to talk normally. At first it made her whine more, but once she learned she wasn't going to get her way, she started talking normally after i remind her that I "can't understand what she wants when she talks that way".

Quoting [♥]Mrs. Morgan:" I don't think you're failing. He's only 3, and at that age, my daughter went through a very awkward shy ... [snip!] ... get her way, she started talking normally after i remind her that I "can't understand what she wants when she talks that way"."

Thank you. I wonder too if we just have too high of expectations. It's hard when I see all these other kids his same age and they all seem more advanced than him. Not more advanced in intellegence, but just the way they act. I've never been around young children.

It could be his personality or school may fix that. When my son was 2 he was exactly like your son. He does full time daycare and part time preschool. It has helped tons but he is still mostly antisocial. Don't let him quit sports either. My son did the same when I put him in soccer last fall. He would have his fits, refuse to play all that jazz but now he's asking to play soccer this spring. Its part of the growing process.