help getting over divorce

I really feel like I should be in a support group... My name is betty and I want to admitt sometimes I miss the pretend life I used to have. You may not understand..but what I miss is what I pretended was real. I get sad because I miss it but know it was never real which means I can never go back.  

We've been separated for about 2yrs..divorced since oct.
We had problems forever...I loved him and thought maybe he'd change . Maybe after our son...but he grew more distant...I tried..he didn't....he deployed...lied and cheated...so I said no more.

I hate that I love him...that I miss parts...he wasn't a great dad...still isn't...

I refuse to go back no matter how badly I want to .....its hard to be stronger than your heart...even when all commom sense knows its best.

I understand exactly what you are saying.

I don't miss my husband, I miss who I wanted him to be. All the dreams, hopes and goals I had for US. But I know they would not, will not, nor ever were real.

I hate the fact, that I don't HATE my ex husband. After everything he's done to me, and put me through, I can't hate him because in my mind, I remember the fantastical dream of HIM I had.

I fell in love with a beautiful liar, and our marriage on the inside, was horrible, but in my mind, it was perfect.

And now that I've made myself look crazy.   I'm Maddie.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Vile Tramp:</b>" I understand exactly what you are saying. I don't miss my husband, I miss who I wanted him to be. All ... [snip!] ... on the inside, was horrible, but in my mind, it was perfect. And now that I've made myself look crazy.   I'm Maddie. "</blockquote>


Welcome to the crazy club lol

I hate when I think maybe...maybe another chance....but I know all it will be is better lies...more manipulation...not good for my son. It would be me thinking and never trusting...possibly cheating myself cuz I know or think he is. And that is not who I am...I don't cheat..and I don't want my son to think I condone such...

I just have to trust and pray that there is someone out there right for me.....but I wonder often where are you?

For now life is better...not money wise at all but as a family...( living w my dad) it is better for me and my son.