IF you spank...

IF you spank, how do you do it?

Do you just throw your hand in a fit of rage and smack as close to their butt as you can get?

Do you hold their hands and make them turn around and spank?

Do you turn them over your knee, bare bottomed, and spank?

How do you do it? Is it effective FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD? I'm at a loss for my kid. Reasoning, getting on his level, removing him from the situation, time outs, nothing works. If he decides he's not going to listen, that's it, he's not going to listen. I'm going to try some other methods first (I posted yesterday or whenever about them), but if that doesn't work, I want to know how you effectively spank a 4 year old.

*I have stances for and against spanking, so don't preach to me, but if you have alternatives that haven't been mentioned, please feel free to share.*

If she is getting a spanking I make sure my hand is open and its not hard. You never hear that "smack" sound after it. She rarely gets one but when she does it is usually very effective in correcting the behavior then we sit down and talk about it.

Quoting Jennybananna:" If she is getting a spanking I make sure my hand is open and its not hard. You never hear that "smack" ... [snip!] ... rarely gets one but when she does it is usually very effective in correcting the behavior then we sit down and talk about it. "

So, in your opinion, it doesn't need to hurt to make an impression and be effective?

I don't spank hard it's just to get their attention because they are so wild lol I just pop their butt or their hand then tell them what they are doing wrong.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" So, in your opinion, it doesn't need to hurt to make an impression and be effective?"

this is definitely true its more of an emotional thing than about the pain that it causes.

Are you trying to actually hurt him with it as punishment? Or just.get his attention? Because I have found that clapping works to get my LO's attention.

Quoting Summer+[two]:" this is definitely true its more of an emotional thing than about the pain that it causes."

What if there is no emotional reaction or "scare" if you will to a spank that causes no pain? It doesn't phase him.

I hold his hands and make him turn around. Although, I can't remember the last time I spanked him. Now just the mere threat makes him straighten up.

Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" Are you trying to actually hurt him with it as punishment? Or just.get his attention? Because I have found that clapping works to get my LO's attention."

No, I'm not trying to hurt him. I've been doing gentle ones and there is no effect. He doesn't care. He doesn't want it to happen, but doesn't care when it does.

I do clapping all the time. He must think there is an enjoyable event close by because that doesn't phase him either.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" So, in your opinion, it doesn't need to hurt to make an impression and be effective?"

Absolutely not. With my daughter its more of an attention grabber and she knows if she gets a spanking mommy or daddy means business. Sometimes just a simple if this continues you will get a spanking works. I admit I lost my temper once and I spanked her pretty hard. Her and I both cried and I told her I was very sorry and that it was very wrong for mommy to hurt her. I will never spank if I dont feel I can control myself. I will walk away and count then come back.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" What if there is no emotional reaction or "scare" if you will to a spank that causes no pain? It doesn't phase him."

If he doesn't care about it emotionally then pop his leg hard enough for it to hurt. If the only thing that works is pain then try it. Dont do it often though or he will get used to it and won't care. Yelling usually works for my kids but i know most people don't like to yell lol

Usually when my daughter gets in trouble she'll run from me, so if i can catch up to I'll smack her on the leg/butt or I'll grab her by top of her arm to hold her still and spank her. Most of the time she behaves afterwards or she'll quit whatever she was doing that got her in trouble.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:</b>" No, I'm not trying to hurt him. I've been doing gentle ones and there is no effect. He doesn't care. ... [snip!] ... it does. I do clapping all the time. He must think there is an enjoyable event close by because that doesn't phase him either."</blockquote>




Have you tried whispering?

Quoting brodyzmom:" I hold his hands and make him turn around. Although, I can't remember the last time I spanked him. Now just the mere threat makes him straighten up."

yea now most of the time me threatening to spank them works.

Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:</b>" No, I'm not trying to hurt him. ... [snip!] ... there is an enjoyable event close by because that doesn't phase him either."</blockquote> Have you tried whispering?"

I haven't, but that's on my list of new things to try. That, and "time-ins" are next.

I just can't take it. We went into the store for FIVE SmUrfING MINUTES and he couldn't even contain himself for that long. WTF?! He is 4 years old and I NEVER tolerate anything but good behavior so IDK why the hell he can't behave. I've been so stressed out that I just throw him in the car and scream. It's obvisouly not effective for either one of us, but nothing works.