re: porn

Quoting Lindsay1591:" it hurts a lot makes me feel like im not good enough i just dont feel the same about him and dont trust ... [snip!] ... to watch it w him b4 i knew about this but now it seems like it would hurt more to watch it w him idk but u have good points"

same for me... for 2 and a half years all my SO did was lie to me and i felt like i wasnt good enough or he didnt want me but the one thing you need to realize is its NOT YOU hes not lookin at it because of you hes doing it because he just likes it.. my SO has watched porn since he was younger so its just something he likes doing and is use to.. hes snuck it so many times done it while i slept done it right next to me in the bed LOL.. and it hurts me when he sneaks it or lies because all i ever wanted was him to be honest and all he did was keep lieing and saying "ill stop" "i swear on this relationship ill stop baby please trust me" and every single time he would just still do it...hes even gone low enough to do it while i was baking cookies like when i was away from the pc for 5 mins... its crazy.........i thought the exact same thing you thought that if i watchd it with him id freak out or cry or get upset.. the main thing is TO TALK be honest tell him exactly how you feel even if you have already and tell him u want to watch it with him.. start off watching stupid stuff like beastility or something nasty.. or watch cartoon porn.. then start watching what he likes..the first time i watched it with him it shocked me that i didnt feel insecure or weird.. i felt like i was watching it with a buddy or something not my boyfriend.. so you never know it could make it better. now when i watch it I LOVE IT i feel so much better i feel so care free we watched it 5 hours straight the other night lol.. and he wasnt hard we just watched it like it was movies... then we had sex afterwards so it COULD help.. it may not but its worth a try . because he probably wont stop   i know it hurts but its true.. i know mine never will atleast. and honestly it made me feel better because yes the girls are PRETTY most of them.. i mean beautiful but they have messed up vaginas or wierd lookin boobs it will make u feel so much better. im fat and pregnant and it makes me feel better LOL. once u watch it you may see that its not as bad as you thought... and honestly theres nothing u can do to stop him unless he wants to ive changed my pc password he doesnt even have a phone.. but he would just find other ways like use his dads phone or something so no matter what u say or do as long as he still wants to do it he will do it. i told my SO we can watch it every single day if he wants i dont care what time or when to just tell me and we will watch it.. i thought he would ask me everyday but its ben like a week he still hasnt tried watching it..

SO wont watch porn with me.. he says i ruin it for him.. i ask to many questions and i analyze it to much according to him that it just kills the mood

Quoting JessicaMatlock :" SO wont watch porn with me.. he says i ruin it for him.. i ask to many questions and i analyze it to much according to him that it just kills the mood"loooo

looooooooooooooooooool.

lol.. i dont even care if he watches it i just tell him if he has to watch it next to me put head phones in.. i just dont understand porn and what makes it so great.. lol he will never get a girl that looks liek a porn star and he will never be in a porn.. hes to heavy and small.. lol

Quoting JessicaMatlock :" lol.. i dont even care if he watches it i just tell him if he has to watch it next to me put head phones ... [snip!] ... great.. lol he will never get a girl that looks liek a porn star and he will never be in a porn.. hes to heavy and small.. lol"

thats how i feel. as long as im in the room or atleast he tells me he watching it i dont care.. and ive said the same thing to my man LMAO because the whole time we watch it hes like ew that girls nasty or something im like shut up if she was in your bed u wouldnt even know what to do.. i dont get the point of porn either but oh well.. ive tried watching guys wankin or something but it doesnt do anything for me..

Quoting JessicaMatlock :" lol.. i dont even care if he watches it i just tell him if he has to watch it next to me put head phones ... [snip!] ... great.. lol he will never get a girl that looks liek a porn star and he will never be in a porn.. hes to heavy and small.. lol"

whoops i read that wrong lol

playing with thier self gets me off.. not because it does but because i really just dont want to have sex right then

i think porn was fine before my SO decided to ruin it lol. i personally dont look.
its not cheating. do what you both feels right to you.

id watch porn to get ideas..but i dont want to look at another guy's privates.  

so do u think porn is the same as just lookin at naked pics of girls? even girls that post their pics on fb, not a paid professional.

ive never had this kind of problem with anybody else before. and i used to watch porn with one of my exes. i just dont understand y he needs that smurf when he has me. and to do that behind my back and then tell me im sexy just seems kinda fked up to me. i wish this didnt bother me i have a choice to make...leave him or try to work through it AGAIN

Quoting Lindsay1591:" so do u think porn is the same as just lookin at naked pics of girls? even girls that post their pics ... [snip!] ... just seems kinda fked up to me. i wish this didnt bother me i have a choice to make...leave him or try to work through it AGAIN"

I have been through this over and over again. I have been with DH for over 10 years. When DS was a baby I discovered the porn. One time he sent me on an errand and I walked in and caught him red handed. He had convinced me to leave so he had his time. I know it's not cheating but to me thats how it feels. It devastates me. I don't know why I feel this way, I just do. He has and had promised over and over that he would stop. He didn't and I don't think he ever will. He gave me ultimatum like "if I can take pics of you then I won't need porn and will look at those instead." LIE. "If you put out more than I won't need porn" LIE mind you unless I am sick I rarely turn him down. Now I have found out that it was more than just porn. He had on at least one occasion contacted girls on craigslist looking for fun. He has profiles on adult websites. I believed my DH when he promised me it wouldn't happen again. i shouldn't have. 10 years and it is still a problem, it's tearing me apart, I feel like I was never good enough for him. and I fear that it is going to ruin my marriage. Fix it now!!! Dont wait! At this point for me it's not about the porn its about the lying, the hiding, the turning to it instead of coming to me. From the beginning he always lied and hid it, he never took into account my feelings. Even saying things like "I don't care how you feel it's what guys do." I think his reaction, his complete lack of regard for me is what ruined it. DH is the only one I have been with so I can't compare to any previous experiences.

Quoting Lindsay1591:" Do u think its ok to look at porn when in a relationship or is it a no no? whats your opinion?"

It's a no no for me.
I have personal and religious reasons for thinking this.

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart". -Matthew 5:28

^Said by Jesus himself.

I believe we will always find others attractive.. God made so many beautiful people in the world. But there is a difference between finding someone attractive and lusting after them.

Saying that, I know not everyone believes as I do and that's fine. But this is how I believe and I would not want to be in a relationship with a man who felt differently then I.

Quoting EnnaBennaBanana:" It's a no no for me. I have personal and religious reasons for thinking this. "But I tell you that ... [snip!] ... so many beautiful people in the world. But there is a difference between finding someone attractive and lusting after them."

This!!!!

I am not religious but I have to agree.

Quoting Lindsay1591:" Do u think its ok to look at porn when in a relationship or is it a no no? whats your opinion?"

no, my husband and I don't look at porn. I never have. My husband doesn't watch it even when he is deployed. It's not our thing

It's not a problem with my husband and I. I don't mind if he watches porn. It doesn't make me feel insecure. After all, he is with me when he could be with any other female out there. I am the mother of his child, his wife, his best friend, etc. and we have a good sex life so yeah, it doesn't upset me that he watches porn. Now if we never had sex and he watched porn nonstop then yeah, I might have a problem. It wouldn't be because I'm insecure though. I know he thinks I'm hot, lol. I get chased around by boners practically every day   It's annoying even.

I had a simliar problem with my fiance, i found out he was watching porn when he told me he stopped because "he didn't realize how it affected me". Pfft. He lied to me for exactly a year straight about watching porn and how he "quit cold turkey" and i caught him in the lie and flat out told him it was over. However, after many discussions, i decided I would keep trying and learn to trust him again. I knew that he loved me, and that although he lied to me, he didn't want to, and that he was addicted to the porn. Majorly addicted. To the point where he would be sexual with me at all because he turned to porn for everything. (stress reliever, lust, etc). But he hasn't watched porn in months and finally our sex life has returned back to normal. It's really up to you, I don't like porn either but I didn't mind him watching it, until it affected us. Thats where i draw the line. If he doesn't respect you enough to stop watching porn, and its affecting your guys sex life, then something serious needs to be done. Good luck!<3