Am I with the right person?

I was on facebook and thought this was amazing and true and wanted to share...  



During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

That is lovely, and true. We have been through some stuff. There have been lots of times when i have questioned my love for him but ultimately that fuzzy OMG i love them so so much my toes hurt stuff does come back, I think it goes in cycles   we are 10 years this year

I believe love, the kind that lasts, is 100% a choice. Those "butterflies" aren't going to last forever.

I needed that.  

Very true. My SO & I have been together 17yrs. It's not always easy. Adding kids after 10yrs was the hardest thing ever.

I have to agree with this. I found somebody, and I believe I do love him, but not like I have ever loved any other male before. This time, I didn't get that whole giddy school girl thing, I didn't get super clingy.. instead I've looked at it logically. "Would we do well together?" "Would he be there for me?" .. maybe it's because it's the first male since having my daughter, but that's how I've gone about this 'relationship'. When he moves here, we aren't jumping into anything either. He knows that too how I look at it, but he has fallen into the deep end of love with me - but he's prepared for just a really good friendship as well. But I really think things could work out well simply because of how I'm looking at it.

Quoting Juliette:" I needed that.  "

I'm glad it helped ya  

Quoting Booger & Bubba's Mommy:" Very true. My SO & I have been together 17yrs. It's not always easy. Adding kids after 10yrs was the hardest thing ever."

I love hearing about relationships that has lasted more then 5 years, it takes a lot to keep a relationship together. its nice to know there are people out there thatt don't just give up when times get hard  

Quoting ♥ Letters to Alice:" I have to agree with this. I found somebody, and I believe I do love him, but not like I have ever loved ... [snip!] ... just a really good friendship as well. But I really think things could work out well simply because of how I'm looking at it. "

I met my husband on an online game and only after a week of him moving out here, we got married. now 2 kids later after 2 1/2 years of marriage we are still going strong. maybe taking it slow and being friends first may lead to more   good luck to you and hope everything works out!!

Oh I love everything about that!!

My favorite saying ever is "a marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person"... You have to choose to put the work into a marriage, into always finding that spark again.

DH & I got married a few months after we met. We had 3 kids in a 4 year span. We moved super fast! We choose to make time for each other & we choose to put the work in. We just had our 6 year anniversary & we are more into each other than we have ever been  

<blockquote><b>Quoting .:Stacy Renee:.:</b>" Oh I love everything about that!! My favorite saying ever is "a marriage requires falling in love many ... [snip!] ... we choose to put the work in. We just had our 6 year anniversary & we are more into each other than we have ever been  "</blockquote>




Like I told the other girl, I love hearing success stories because they are encouraging, I hate when people just give up on their relationship when times get hard. When you love someone, they are worth fighting for and as long as you both are in it together, the relationship can grow stronger. Happy late 6 year anniversary   lol

Quoting Lin Brown:" <blockquote><b>Quoting .:Stacy Renee:.:</b>" Oh I love everything about that!! My ... [snip!] ... for and as long as you both are in it together, the relationship can grow stronger. Happy late 6 year anniversary   lol"

Thank you!

& I completely agree. A few years back, we hit an extremely rocky patch & at the time I truly felt like we were headed towards divorce. Fortunately we both had a huge wake up call one night & we both decided that what we had was worth fighting for. I'm so thankful we did!

Quoting .:Stacy Renee:.:" Thank you! & I completely agree. A few years back, we hit an extremely rocky patch & at the ... [snip!] ... both had a huge wake up call one night & we both decided that what we had was worth fighting for. I'm so thankful we did!"

that is awesome! i'm happy for you guys, glad everything worked out!!  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lin Brown:</b>" I love hearing about relationships that has lasted more then 5 years, it takes a lot to keep a relationship ... [snip!] ... to keep a relationship together. its nice to know there are people out there thatt don't just give up when times get hard   "</blockquote>




I'm not going to say its always easy. At one point (10yrs ago) we broke up for just under a year. Since we have been back together though its been okay. We have our struggles but we work on it.

We aren't even married not do we plan to. We are committed to eachother & our family & don't feel the need for others to define our life & love.