re: Boyfriend wants a Vasectomy

Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" And again, she should be considering his feelings too. If he does not want any more kids, she should respect that. That's his body, and she has every option to not stay. "

Ok that would be where comprimise comes in... "it's his body" doesn't make it the end all say all of who's values matter more. Both opinions should be considered not just his because it's his body he wants to cut, he chose a relationship with someone who wants more children, her feelings as well as his should be considered.

Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" He doesn't need to consider anyone's feelings. It is HIS body, therefore HIS choice. If he doesn't ... [snip!] ... or not he's in a commited relationship, then he shouldn't feel obligated to do so just because some woman tells him he should."

I am considering his feelings I am not in any way demanding a child but like I said if he is ok with adopting why cant he be ok with us having our own child?....

Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" He doesn't need to consider anyone's feelings. It is HIS body, therefore HIS choice. If he doesn't ... [snip!] ... or not he's in a commited relationship, then he shouldn't feel obligated to do so just because some woman tells him he should."

That some WOMAN is his girlfriend that he's in a relationship with.. She's not some random ass female he just got with a couple weeks ago.

Just because they aren't married doesn't make their relationship any LESS valuable.  

Quoting J u l i a .:" AGAIN.. I said she should consider his feelings. Lol. I do think not considering her feelings is wrong ... [snip!] ... her feelings is wrong and making such a permanent decision that would effect the BOTH of them is should be talked about. "

She can still have kids later on if she wanted to. They could harvest his sperm should he change his mind. But if he wants to do this NOW, then it's his choice. Not her, and she should not have a say so in it. They aren't married, and not tied to each other.

Quoting Mamma Boo!:" I am considering his feelings I am not in any way demanding a child but like I said if he is ok with adopting why cant he be ok with us having our own child?...."

Because he doesn't want any other kids? Some people just don't want them. He doesn't need to justify his reasons. If he doesnt' want a kid, then he doesn't want a kid. Period.

My dad never wanted biological children because he hates infants.

So he adopted a bunch of teenagers. Nothing wrong with that.

Quoting Mamma Boo!:" I am considering his feelings I am not in any way demanding a child but like I said if he is ok with adopting why cant he be ok with us having our own child?...."

|Honestly hun your opinion should matter as much as his and you need to sit down and have a serious discussion about it. neither of you are wrong for feeling the way you do but relationships are about comprimise and meeting half way. Sit down and tell him how you feel, and listen to him as well get his reasoning and come to a solution that works best for you both. Good luck

Quoting BoogsMaMa:" Ok that would be where comprimise comes in... "it's his body" doesn't make it the end all say all ... [snip!] ... wants to cut, he chose a relationship with someone who wants more children, her feelings as well as his should be considered."

Not really. It's his body. He can do what he wants with it, and if she has that much of a problem with it, she is free to leave. If my SO wanted a vasectomy and I wanted more kids, I'd be in the same boat, and I'd have to deal with it too. His body, his choice. We don't make women sit around and give birth because the man wants to keep his child. Why should he have to not get a vasectomy because she wants more kids?

Quoting J u l i a .:" That some WOMAN is his girlfriend that he's in a relationship with.. She's not some random ass female ... [snip!] ... just got with a couple weeks ago. Just because they aren't married doesn't make their relationship any LESS valuable.  "

Good god. Would you like it if someone told YOU to have a baby when you didn't want to? Didn't think so.

I'm pro-choice for women and men. Neither sex should HAVE to have a baby and should be allowed to take whatever precautions they want.

Plus vasectomies are reversible and it's possible he can have kids later if he wants to. Her problem isn't her problem, they aren't even married.

Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" Because he doesn't want any other kids? Some people just don't want them. He doesn't need to justify ... [snip!] ... My dad never wanted biological children because he hates infants. So he adopted a bunch of teenagers. Nothing wrong with that."

  

Jesus you 2 take it to a whole other level. 1. Marriage doesn't make your significant other's opinion any more/less valuable, and it definately isn't a binding commitment anymore than a relationship (divorce is common). She isn't saying she wants him to have kids, she wants to keep the option open. She isn't forcing anything she wants a comprimise. Her opinions and feelings matter just as much as his, married or just in a relationship makes no difference. Without that in a relationship the compromise and communication a marriage would never come about.

Quoting ♥ darah ♥:" Good god. Would you like it if someone told YOU to have a baby when you didn't want to? Didn't think ... [snip!] ... reversible and it's possible he can have kids later if he wants to. Her problem isn't her problem, they aren't even married."

Nope. And I stated that.. But I wouldn't tell my SO i'm having my tubes tied smurf what you think that's so inconsiderate and he'd feel the same way.
No one SAID he SHOULD have a baby if he doesn't want another one that's HIS personal decision I just stated it was WRONG of him to NOT consider her feelings...

Why do they have to be married to work together and make important decisions as a couple? Marriage is NOT the issue here nor is it important that they aren't married.. The only PROS of them NOT being married is it would be easier to move on if they so happen to break up over this. Other than that there isn't much of a difference between being married and being in a completely committed relationship.. If my SO and I got married tomorrow the only thing that would be different is my last name and a ring on my left ring finger.

Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" She can still have kids later on if she wanted to. They could harvest his sperm should he change his ... [snip!] ... NOW, then it's his choice. Not her, and she should not have a say so in it. They aren't married, and not tied to each other. "

That's where they would be compromising.. Saying he shouldn't consider her feelings at all is dumb.. Sorry.

You probably don't even realize that if he were to harvest his sperm and change his mind later doing that would be CONSIDERING her feelings so thank you for proving my point.

Quoting BoogsMaMa:" Jesus you 2 take it to a whole other level. 1. Marriage doesn't make your significant other's opinion ... [snip!] ... makes no difference. Without that in a relationship the compromise and communication a marriage would never come about."

        

THIS times 1000000000000000000!

Quoting BoogsMaMa:" Jesus you 2 take it to a whole other level. 1. Marriage doesn't make your significant other's opinion ... [snip!] ... makes no difference. Without that in a relationship the compromise and communication a marriage would never come about."

What kind of compromise do you want when it comes to this? If he wants to do this, and she doesn't, how are they going to compromise? The only 'compromise' is he doesn't do it and they use other birth control, and that's not a compromise when it comes to something like this. If she was pregnant and he wanted that baby, but she didn't, everyone would be telling her that it's her body, and her choice. I say the same thing. It's his body. It's his choice.

Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" What kind of compromise do you want when it comes to this? If he wants to do this, and she doesn't, ... [snip!] ... everyone would be telling her that it's her body, and her choice. I say the same thing. It's his body. It's his choice. "

This. Yep.