re: Boyfriend wants a Vasectomy

Quoting The Doctor:" Maybe he thinks that it's more kind to take in a child that's already alive and needs a good home than ... [snip!] ... it. What you have to decide is whether having another child is worth ending the relationship over if he doesn't want another."

That is true, well its not worth ending it. I guess the future will tell whether or not we will decide to have a child together or not! Im up for adoption but yes i would of also like to have my own biological child..

<blockquote><b>Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:</b>" It's his penis and testicles... If he wants a vasectomy and doesn't want more kids, then maybe you should respect that... "</blockquote>




 
I wanted more kids, but DH got a vasectomy. Honestly, he made the right choice.

Quoting Mamma Boo!:" So my boyfriend has told me he was going to get a vasectomy, well I always wanted one more child and ... [snip!] ... up and get one.... i told him a child wouldnt be right now but in the next couple of years. Am i in a loss in this situation?"

Well.. it is his body.

Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" You said it was wrong of him to want to do this when she didn't. It's not. I read everything you said. ... [snip!] ... I read everything you said. That's the part that you said that bugged me. It's not wrong to do what you want with your body. "

If he's in a relationship with her and wants to be with her he SHOULD consider her feelings!

Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" You said it was wrong of him to want to do this when she didn't. It's not. I read everything you said. ... [snip!] ... I read everything you said. That's the part that you said that bugged me. It's not wrong to do what you want with your body. "

Married or not, he did make a commitment to her i.e. a relationship which believe it or not is a commitment and it is wrong for him to not consider her feelings in the matter, especially since you are so adement on his decision being the right one. NO, relationships like marriage also need comprimise. If no compromise can be made then the relationship may end, but that's about it.

Quoting Mamma Boo!:" That is true, well its not worth ending it. I guess the future will tell whether or not we will decide ... [snip!] ... will decide to have a child together or not! Im up for adoption but yes i would of also like to have my own biological child.."

Then I would sit down, have a serious conversation with him, and ask if he'd be okay with putting off a vasectomy for 5 years or so, and revisiting the conversation then. That way you both feel like you're being heard, you know? And maybe your mind will change in 5 years, maybe his will, or maybe neither will.

Quoting Mamma Boo!:" That is true, well its not worth ending it. I guess the future will tell whether or not we will decide ... [snip!] ... will decide to have a child together or not! Im up for adoption but yes i would of also like to have my own biological child.."

Talk to him about getting a reversible vasectomy. That way if he changes his mind, he can get it reversed. I think they do those.

Quoting Mamma Boo!:" That is true, well its not worth ending it. I guess the future will tell whether or not we will decide ... [snip!] ... will decide to have a child together or not! Im up for adoption but yes i would of also like to have my own biological child.."

You could get a donor too.
It's not the end of the world.

Quoting J u l i a .:" If he's in a relationship with her and wants to be with her he SHOULD consider her feelings! "

And she shouldn't consider his?

Yes, it's good to consider someone else's feelings. But not at the expense of your own values, morals, thoughts, and feelings. There's a line. And if that's his line-- that's his line.

Quoting J u l i a .:" If he's in a relationship with her and wants to be with her he SHOULD consider her feelings! "

But that does not make him doing it wrong. She should respect and consider HIS feelings in not wanting children.

Quoting BoogsMaMa:" Married or not, he did make a commitment to her i.e. a relationship which believe it or not is a commitment ... [snip!] ... like marriage also need comprimise. If no compromise can be made then the relationship may end, but that's about it. "

And again, she should be considering his feelings too. If he does not want any more kids, she should respect that. That's his body, and she has every option to not stay.

Quoting The Doctor:" And she shouldn't consider his? Yes, it's good to consider someone else's feelings. But not at the ... [snip!] ... at the expense of your own values, morals, thoughts, and feelings. There's a line. And if that's his line-- that's his line."

And again... I stated that in my original POST! Lol. You can't take ONE thing I said and overrule it over everything else that I said, everything you are TRYING to tell me I already said to her.

Quoting The Doctor:" Then I would sit down, have a serious conversation with him, and ask if he'd be okay with putting off ... [snip!] ... both feel like you're being heard, you know? And maybe your mind will change in 5 years, maybe his will, or maybe neither will."

I did talk to him about how I would like to finish up college which is in 2 years so i hope it gives him plenty of time to think about it. But he was trying to go for a consultation this week for his vasectomy..

Quoting BoogsMaMa:" Married or not, he did make a commitment to her i.e. a relationship which believe it or not is a commitment ... [snip!] ... like marriage also need comprimise. If no compromise can be made then the relationship may end, but that's about it. "

He doesn't need to consider anyone's feelings. It is HIS body, therefore HIS choice. If he doesn't ever want more kids, whether or not he's in a commited relationship, then he shouldn't feel obligated to do so just because some woman tells him he should.

Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" But that does not make him doing it wrong. She should respect and consider HIS feelings in not wanting children. "

AGAIN.. I said she should consider his feelings. Lol.

I do think not considering her feelings is wrong and making such a permanent decision that would effect the BOTH of them is should be talked about.