Someone tell me which of us is wrong!

My husband and I got in a fight this weekend over something stupid and I'm not sure which of us is in the wrong? We've been TTC for about 4 months now and two months ago I had a chemical which was a huge heartbreak and it made it even worse because he had to start going out of town for work which makes trying a little difficult. This past month was negative which I'm not suprised since we didn't get to really try while I was ovulating. So anyways, this week (I'll be ovulating the end of the week) he's working closer, only about an hour and a half away but his coworkers still like to stay so they don't have to wake up early. I asked him if he would come home at night so we could try and he said it's a waste of gas money and then he has to get up super early so I asked if he would at least Wednesday night so we got ONE time in and he said I'm taking all the fun out of it and that's not how he wants to make a baby. He doesn't realize that you can't just go at it on weekends, there's like a tiny little window for most women.

Was it wrong of me to ask him to come home even though he'd have to get up really early and drive? Do you think that "takes the fun out of it?" In the past I've gotten a postive OPK on friday/saturday so we might be fine, but still, I just want to give it 100% this month - it's really important it happens within the next couple or we might have to stop for a few months.

Neither of you is "wrong"... it just seems like you're more invested about TTC and he's more laid back. Neither is "right".

i think you are putting too much presssure on him making it not fun. and he does have a point, its a waste of gas money and he is working hard, he needs the sleep. it will happen when it happens.

I can see where you're both coming from Trying does take the fun out of sex sometimes.

I think your husband has a good point though, gas is expensive.

<blockquote><b>Quoting karenanne:</b>" i think you are putting too much presssure on him making it not fun. and he does have a point, its a waste of gas money and he is working hard, he needs the sleep. it will happen when it happens."</blockquote>


 

Quoting loser mom:" I can see where you're both coming from Trying does take the fun out of sex sometimes. I think your husband has a good point though, gas is expensive. "

And are babies! Save the money for when you do get pregnant. (IMO!)

I do kinda think it takes the fun out of it but I also understand where your coming from too. Maybe talk dirty to him, make him want to come and have sex

i agree is takes the fun out of it. My husband and i tried for almost 2 years off and on. and it was like a chore, my husband didnt mind of course..but it wasn't like fun sex. plus i'd only let him be on top, i'd lay there with my legs in the air, everything. i never got pregnant.
I got pregnant the month we stopped trying. i didnt look at the calendar..didnt know when i'd be ovulating, i was on top, and i got up to pee afterwards. the next day i realized i had fertile mucus and that one night was the only night around that time of the month that we had sex, and it got me pregnant.
i won't ever "try" so hard again. just have fun and go with it.

Quoting October2011:" i agree is takes the fun out of it. My husband and i tried for almost 2 years off and on. and it was ... [snip!] ... time of the month that we had sex, and it got me pregnant. i won't ever "try" so hard again. just have fun and go with it."

exactly. dont try so hard! me and the hubby never actually "tried" it was always ok, lets just have sex and see what happens. we got pregnant both times the first month

I can see your concern but I think I have to agree with your husband on this one. I wouldn't want to conceive a baby that way either. Besides who says it will even work? With the much pressure on him, your husband may not be able to "preform". lol Just let things happens as they may. Trying too hard may keep you from getting pregnant too. If it's meant to be, it will happen.

Good Luck!

Quoting BlueEyes30:" My husband and I got in a fight this weekend over something stupid and I'm not sure which of us is in ... [snip!] ... to give it 100% this month - it's really important it happens within the next couple or we might have to stop for a few months."

TBH I agree with your husband, it wasn't too much to ask but he doesn't want to TTC like that. If you didn't want to TTC like that it would suck to be pressured into it. Just let it happen, it's only been 4 months.

I sooo agree that it is taking the fun out of it. We had a really easy time with our first two, this whole "trying" thing is new to me and I feel like such a failure or like I'm not trying hard enough.

I do need to lighten up, but I'm worried because if the due date gets into winter next year, he'll be back to out of town and I don't want him to miss out on the newborn stuff.

Quoting BlueEyes30:" I sooo agree that it is taking the fun out of it. We had a really easy time with our first two, this ... [snip!] ... if the due date gets into winter next year, he'll be back to out of town and I don't want him to miss out on the newborn stuff."

I know exactly how you feel.

Quoting BlueEyes30:" I sooo agree that it is taking the fun out of it. We had a really easy time with our first two, this ... [snip!] ... if the due date gets into winter next year, he'll be back to out of town and I don't want him to miss out on the newborn stuff."

why would he miss out on the newborn stuff? he can take paternity leave

Quoting karenanne:" why would he miss out on the newborn stuff? he can take paternity leave"

No, he never would - with our last he dropped me off from the hospital and went back to work! He's a working addict! Which I both love and hate about him   But in the summer he works closer to home and winter they have to travel so he's only home weekends.