lack of communication

Sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to be pissed off too, as it will upset his delicate balance of happy to brooding. Such as this morning, I'm tired too. But he's stomping around the house, obviously pissed off about something, but he won't tell me what. Until he does, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, and I don't dare ask him or he'll explode in my face. My youngest is still sleeping and I'm just not ready for it this morning yet. Just now, he expressed his displeasure by avoiding me, even though I know he was about to leave for work, and when we kissed goodbye, his lips were soft with no pucker, as if I were kissing a bowl of pudding there. Subtly telling me, "I'm angry with you and I'm not going to tell you why" oh it makes me so mad sometimes! he bottles everything up until he's about to burst. He goes from being just fine to a thundercloud soaking the house with his negative energy. I don't know if I kept him awake last night, he's pissed off that there are dishes on the counter from last night, or some other thing that I've failed to notice. He is an OCD clean house freak, and I'm little more lax (not slobbish) housekeeper, so we butt heads on this all the time. I clean everything, I'm just not into doing a whole detail job on the entire house every single day, which is what I think he wants. If I disrupted his sleep, well, there's not alot I can do about that, I mean, for goodness sake, no one needs 12 hours sleep and an fing nap every single day. Everyday, he lies down at about 2:40, right before our oldest gets home from school, as if I'm going to be able to keep the house quiet for him at this time of day. Pisses me, and who cares if I'm reeling from having gotten my usual 6 hrs a night and would love to lie down myself, no he will look at me and say, "I'm taking a nap, and off he goes". Can you tell he's pissed me off this morning, and he is gone to work and thus has no idea. If I tried to talk about it with him, he would just turn it around as if I was the one who had no right to be angry and I should simper and fawn and be a good little housewife type. I am not a housewife, I am a woman who wants to go back to working 40+ hrs a week, I want him to stay home and take care of the kids. I love being here for my kids, but being home all the time is just not the way I was raised. And now that we're down to one vehicle, and we live 5 miles from the nearest gas station even, I can't go anywhere and it's driving me bonkers. Anyway, thanks for listening.  

Sounds like my DH
If he's pissed off then its the end of the world,if I'm pissed or upset then I'm wrong
He takes naps all the time and if he gets woken up hes crabby,but anytime I try to nap he lets LO come wake me up and doesn't stop him.

I usually just shrug it off and ignore him tantrums until he feels like an ass and apologizes for overreacting

Ignore his ass when he gets home. Men are so sucky when it comes to sleep deprivation or Anythjng like that. I hate when my husband falls asleep in the couch for a nap it even in the e ending falling asleep at 8:00 on the couch. I'm just as tired if not more right now cause I'm pregnant. I can't even take a shower without him letting my daughter into seeing me. I told him last night just cause she wants to come in doesnr mean she has too. I would like at least 10 minutes to have a breather. But nope never get that. I'm trying to figure out why we need them. Lol! Sometimes they are quite useless and don't help with Anythjng. I'm the OCD one that likes a clean house and my husband is complete opposite and he makes a mess. I refuse to clean up after his ass cause I have more then enough to deal with. Lately he has told me that I don't do his laundry every week. The next time he says it too me he is going to get a rude awakening and he won't have any clean clothes. But I'm vindictive that way.

I'm pretty sure all men are like this in one way or another. Just start being that bitch as you have the rights to be upset as well.

Quoting *PeanutButter*:" Sounds like my DH If he's pissed off then its the end of the world,if I'm pissed or upset then I'm wrong ... [snip!] ... stop him. I usually just shrug it off and ignore him tantrums until he feels like an ass and apologizes for overreacting"

Oh I know it, except mine never seems to figure out he's being an ass and thus I just have to swallow it and pretend it never happened.

<blockquote><b>Quoting motherofboys:</b>" Oh I know it, except mine never seems to figure out he's being an ass and thus I just have to swallow it and pretend it never happened."</blockquote>




Tell him!
When my DH throws his tantrums like a 2 year old he storms off to the bedroom and cools down then will text me apologizing and smurf

Quoting Mom of Tristan/Rayah +1:" Ignore his ass when he gets home. Men are so sucky when it comes to sleep deprivation or Anythjng like ... [snip!] ... sure all men are like this in one way or another. Just start being that bitch as you have the rights to be upset as well."

Thankfully, he won't let me so much as touch his laundry, lol. Except in the extreme case where he's working too much to do it himself. he works an evening job at Walmart and he's a substitute teacher. This week he actually subs everyday so he will be tired (it's only monday and he's already being an ass though) so he will be pressed for time.
After 10 years of this, I just feel fed up at times and just want to take my kids, walk out that door, and never look back. I know I won't, but boy it can be tempting at times. But, right now, I would literally have to walk, lol, seeing as he has my truck and his car is out of commission. It sucks being poor. Having to swallow my pride, apply for food stamps, never knowing if we'll be able to fix what needs to be fixed. Living in an old house that is just too small. It gets to me after a while. I feel kinda trapped, and I don't know, maybe I'm having my own almost mid life crisis here, but I feel stuck. I can't find enough funding to finish school, so at the rate I'm going, I'll be a SAHM till my kids are grown, never be a teacher, and essentially do nothing with my life. Why does college have to be so damned expensive anyway. I need to work towards my bachelor's which requires a 4 year college, and the price difference between community college and a university is just too much right now on our limited income. Financial aid is not enough, and I don't fully understand scholarships, nevermind the fact that I can barely leave the house. Sometimes I wish we didn't live on the farm and just lived in town so I could actually get out of the house, lol.
You can probably tell a lot has been building for a while, I'm not really the type who speaks of my 'dirty laundry' to others, but a girl has to let it out sometime. hehe

Quoting *PeanutButter*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting motherofboys:</b>" Oh I know it, except mine never seems to ... [snip!] ... my DH throws his tantrums like a 2 year old he storms off to the bedroom and cools down then will text me apologizing and smurf"

Mine's old and set in his ways, and to top it off, he has a bit of a superiority complex that I just can't seem to get passed. I did get him to stop leaving nasty little notes, and when he takes his vindictiveness too far, I do give him a dressing down. It's a good thing I'm a strong woman who knows how to put a stop on things, otherwise things could have escalated into a very emotionally abusive relationship. I don't do those, seen enough of those in my life. When he steps over the line, I tell him, I'm not afraid to speak my mind if he's being too heavy handed with his words or attitude. I could see if he were in a relationship with a different woman, who had not seen this kind of thing before, and did not know how to fight back, how things could get extremely bad. He can be just like his dad sometimes, stubborn, inconsiderate and well, asslike. Sometimes I just want to shake him into submission, lol. A woman can only accept so much, and everyone needs a sounding board to get their feelings and frustration out, but that sounding board hits back when things get mean.  

OMG this sounds just like my SO lol I love that man to death but damn he can drive me up a wall! You perfectly described my SO with the tantrums and me with my feelings lol except he's not OCD, I'm the one who bitches more about seeing smurf a mess around me and he's more like eh..he doesn't let it get to him haha

Quoting motherofboys:" Sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to be pissed off too, as it will upset his delicate balance of ... [snip!] ... 5 miles from the nearest gas station even, I can't go anywhere and it's driving me bonkers. Anyway, thanks for listening.  "

I think the majority of girlfriends feel this way lol. It's like when he knows you're pissed off, he turns it to him being pissed off so it's all about him. Well that's how I feel.