my baby daddy may not be my baby daddy...

ok please do not judge i cheated im a horrible person i get that-- i didnt realize until today that when i cheated on my bf with my ex it was around the time i got pregnant until today, my mom pointed it out to me. im 29 weeks my bf has bought ALL of the babys stuff and everything. i did tell him the day after i cheated that i had cheated on him and told him who and everything although it was wrong i was honest and told him the truth about everything.. then i became pregnant and we always just assumed shes his... idk now that my mom has brought it up. i was with my bf for 3 years never was too worried about condoms and birth control since i was told id never have kids, 6 months befor i became pregnant had surgery removing thousands of ovarian cysts wich is what was stopping me from having children. my mom said" you were with him for 3 years then 6 months after the surgery the one time you cheat on him a month (maybe month and a hlaf later) become pregnant, maybe its not his"... the only thing is my ex said he had a visectomy.. not 100% if he did or not, men lie. said the county he lives in offers free visectomies if the male has had 3 or more children already. anyways im not sure if i should bring this up to my bf he knows i cheated so that wont be a surprise but should i tell him im worried he may not be the dad? or just wait and see? what about the things hes already bought give them back or just pay him back idk what to do or say ..

Wow, that's tough. I think it's great that you told your boyfriend. I know that couldn't have been easy. Has your boyfriend expressed any concern that the baby isn't his? Does he know how close the timing was? I honestly don't know what I would do, but I wish you the best.

Id get a paternity test after the baby is born. Both guys deserve to know.

I wish you luck!

I wouldn't tell him, especially not if you don't remember exactly when you cheated. Do you know the date?

Maybe ask the ex if he has any documentation from the visectomy? If he does then there would be no need to be concerned or bring it up to your SO.

my bf hasnt really shown any concern about it. he knows the exact day bc i told him the day after that the night befor i had gone to the bar and all that.. hes excited about the baby he had twin boys but the mom of his twins was doing drugs and one died and hes extremly excited to be having a girl. he loves her. im not sure how to handle this. my happy little family may not be so happy or a family..

<blockquote><b>Quoting pants88:</b>" my bf hasnt really shown any concern about it. he knows the exact day bc i told him the day after that ... [snip!] ... to be having a girl. he loves her. im not sure how to handle this. my happy little family may not be so happy or a family.."</blockquote>


What was the date you cheated? When was your last period? When's your due date?
Did you have a period after you cheated?

i have asked him when we were dating but hes 10 years older and he got it done when he was late teens early 20s and said he didnt keep the papers all those years.. i have felt horrible all day thinkin about it. how would i ever make this right with my bf if shes not his i cant imagine hurting some one that much. one night of stupidity could cause years of heartach..

He already knows you cheated and came up pregnant soon after. It's probably already crossed his mind. I would just tell him you just realized the timing and get a PT after the baby is born.

Quoting Will☮Creedence:" <blockquote><b>Quoting pants88:</b>" my bf hasnt really shown any concern about it. ... [snip!] ... What was the date you cheated? When was your last period? When's your due date? Did you have a period after you cheated?"

i dont remember the date. my last period was in july, i know i cheated after my period and i didnt have another period since. i was pregnant after...

I think it's in everyone's best interest to know the truth.

Your boyfriend knows you cheated and became pregnant soon after, right? Does he not question paternity because he knows your ex had a vasectomy (supposedly)?

I think that you were so honest about the cheating, you should also be honest and voice your concerns to him. He knows you cheated, so he should know there is a chance it's not his, and you really should talk to him about it imho. He might still want to raise the child if it's not his. It really depends on the relationship you two have I suppose. It's a tough situation though, good luck and I hope everything goes well.

<blockquote><b>Quoting pants88:</b>" i dont remember the date. my last period was in july, i know i cheated after my period and i didnt have another period since. i was pregnant after..."</blockquote>


Is there any text messages or anything from when it happened that would indicate what day it was? If you are due april 9 then your last period was likeee July 2 or 3 and I think the estimated date of conception is July 18ish
Anyway, if it was very early july, very end of July or early August then its probably not his but if it was any time mid july there'ls a very good chance.

Quoting loser mom:" I think it's in everyone's best interest to know the truth. Your boyfriend knows you cheated and became ... [snip!] ... and became pregnant soon after, right? Does he not question paternity because he knows your ex had a vasectomy (supposedly)?"

he dont question it, to me anyways. never has. i dont know if its because of my ex's visectomy.. i really think im going to call my ex tomarro.. drs offices should have papers like that saved in a file he should be able to get a copy and show me. if he dont then ill tell them both that theres a chance shes not my bfs. is that an appropriate way to go about it or no?

you're 29 weeks so that means you had to have gotten pregnant in the middle of July(because I'm 30 weeks and I ovulated around the beginning/middle of July) when was your period suppose to be due? and when did you find out your due date?...I mean, did the doctor measure the baby to tell you the due date or are you going off of a due date calculator?