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<blockquote><b>Quoting Wonderstruck ♥:</b>" So i have 2 kids with BD - whom I was with for 5 years. Broke up, now i have the kids all week, he sees ... [snip!] ... including a DV with me. Just got out of jail for 45 days for violating a no contact order & eluding the police. TIA"</blockquote>




Were/are you married?

Quoting ThreeLittleBirds:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Wonderstruck ♥:</b>" So i have 2 kids with BD - whom ... [snip!] ... jail for 45 days for violating a no contact order & eluding the police. TIA"</blockquote> Were/are you married?"

Never was married no.
& I'm currently not married either.

Then there shouldn't be an issue. The only way it would affect you would be if you were still married and got pregnant with someone else. Then he could claim adultery and they could make you get a paternity test. But generally if.you aren't married its not the courts business.

How're you thinking he'd use the baby against you? (like, what thoughts have brought you to ask the question, i mean)
Cause..i'm not seeing any way he could..

Honestly, I wouldn't see a problem with the current SO and baby. They're not his, and in no way can he really use this against you.

If anything, if you file a CS order with the court and visitation, he may be getting LESS time because of his history and recent offenses against you (If you possibly intend to lessen his time with the kids). With that being said, Child support is directly tied into time spent with the clildren, so if you need more money, less time is less money.

But in your situation there already being a visitation schedule in place, they most likely will adopt what's current and go with that. It's less hassle for them (they like easy) during the mediation.

Quoting KNZ.:" How're you thinking he'd use the baby against you? (like, what thoughts have brought you to ask the question, i mean) Cause..i'm not seeing any way he could.."

The only real way he could do that was (please OP don't take any offense!) OP was using drugs, harmful to herself/the baby, either her or her SO were in an abusive relationship. But then ALL children would be affected by the court and custody etc (CPS!).

Quoting KNZ.:" How're you thinking he'd use the baby against you? (like, what thoughts have brought you to ask the question, i mean) Cause..i'm not seeing any way he could.."

Idk i just feel like he'd use the argument

"She's having another baby with a guy she barely knows" therefor making me seem irresponsible in some way shape or form?
BD & I had/have a no contact order (im not 100% sure if it's over with now, it was placed by the state two years ago when he got his DV with me)

I'm not going into court money hungry looking for hundreds in CS.
Just some help with diapers / food / clothes for his kids obviously.

Quoting bulbasaur!:" The only real way he could do that was (please OP don't take any offense!) OP was using drugs, harmful ... [snip!] ... her or her SO were in an abusive relationship. But then ALL children would be affected by the court and custody etc (CPS!)."

But that's a whole different story than just "using the unborn baby against her".

Quoting bulbasaur!:" The only real way he could do that was (please OP don't take any offense!) OP was using drugs, harmful ... [snip!] ... her or her SO were in an abusive relationship. But then ALL children would be affected by the court and custody etc (CPS!)."

& none of that applies to my situation  
No offense taken btw ;)

Quoting Wonderstruck ♥:" Idk i just feel like he'd use the argument "She's having another baby with a guy she barely knows" therefor ... [snip!] ... going into court money hungry looking for hundreds in CS. Just some help with diapers / food / clothes for his kids obviously."

oh yeah, you don't have to explain yourself with CS, ha, i've been there, don't worry- no judgements here  

but no, i mean, if he did try to pull something like that, it would just make him look petty and immature. what you're doing with your life 'n future kiddos now is none of his business (obviously within 'safety' reasons, you know what i mean  )
Dude tried to use the fact that i had a previous son at age 16 against me, and they just looked at him like he was the biggest smurf on the planet.
but yeah- the fact that you're pregnant again wouldn't have any relevance on setting up CS for your other kiddos.

Quoting Wonderstruck ♥:" Idk i just feel like he'd use the argument "She's having another baby with a guy she barely knows" therefor ... [snip!] ... going into court money hungry looking for hundreds in CS. Just some help with diapers / food / clothes for his kids obviously."

Does he give you any money already?

Quoting KNZ.:" oh yeah, you don't have to explain yourself with CS, ha, i've been there, don't worry- no judgements ... [snip!] ... the planet. but yeah- the fact that you're pregnant again wouldn't have any relevance on setting up CS for your other kiddos. "

PHEW.


My mom was making it seem like me even dating was the worst possible scenario for trying to get custody & CS arranged LOL.
I've been going back and forth between keeping the baby or abortion because I don't want something that isn't here yet to affect my two kids who are alive and here and need me. (No offense to any pro - lifers)
I guess part of me is scared smurfless of three kids, and I don't want it to negatively affect my 3 year old and 1 year old.


Ramble over . LOL

Quoting bulbasaur!:" Does he give you any money already?"

No he doesn't.

Quoting Wonderstruck ♥:" PHEW. My mom was making it seem like me even dating was the worst possible scenario for trying to get ... [snip!] ... me is scared smurfless of three kids, and I don't want it to negatively affect my 3 year old and 1 year old. Ramble over . LOL"

aw, no, a court isn't going to care if you're dating or pregnant! don't stress over that.
we're WA state too and when we were going through custody, my dude was living with a chick he'd just met a couple weeks before (and my daughter was going there for visitations) and the court gave no smurfs, ha.

i'm sure you'll make the best decision for your family, but don't let the court stuff scare you!