Aunt wants to take my 2yo to see grandma?

Hello. First post...

Well I have a predicament here. My daughter's paternal aunt has been asking to take my daughter (21 mos) to see her grandmother who lives about 2 hours away. She said to her uncle that she wanted to take her daughter and mine to see their grandma for the first time when she got her drivers license. She's also asked me before if she could take my daughter to see her grandma (adding- you could come too) which implies that she wanted to take her alone (maybe I'm overly implying?)

The aunt is a wonderful person and watches my daughter during her visits with my BD and I have respect for all their family and fully intend for my daughter to have a relationship with all of them in the future.

However, I just don't feel comfortable with it right now. I kind of feel a little offended that she wanted to take my daughter when she gets her license to her uncle... (and i feel bad inside for feeling so)Kind of like she assumed she could. I feel like the trip would be too much of a hassle for her to take at her age, and that she wouldn't comprehend it. She's hard to take on long road trips... and I kind of don't trust a new driver (in general) to take a 2 hour trip.

I understand her family's p.o.v. not seeing her yet, and everything. But i feel like the aunt should go herself with her daughter first, and then on maybe the second or third trip, me and my daughter go as well. I would NEVER let my daughter go alone at her age, and I would feel uncomfortable not knowing anyone... you know?

UGH! What would you do? Am I horrible for feeling this way?

I wouldn't let my child in a car with someone who only just got their license period. The distance is way too far for a new driver in my opinion. I almost died in a car accident at 17. I was not the driver. I am very careful and have very strict rules about cars.

Quoting kate & tilly:" I wouldn't let my child in a car with someone who only just got their license period. The distance is ... [snip!] ... opinion. I almost died in a car accident at 17. I was not the driver. I am very careful and have very strict rules about cars."

I agree. I just feel bad saying no, like I'd offend her or something? It's just her new driving/ i don't trust their car... and my daughter's age.

Like when she's verging on end of 3 to 4 fine, but not quite now.

I won't let my daughters ride in a car alone with experienced family members, let alone someone who just got their license! I'm very over protective though and they don't go anywhere without me or their dad with them. You are not bad for feeling like that though. Just explain to her your feelings, she's your daughter so she really can't get mad at you.

Quoting ~Mommyof3girls~:" I won't let my daughters ride in a car alone with experienced family members, let alone someone who just ... [snip!] ... bad for feeling like that though. Just explain to her your feelings, she's your daughter so she really can't get mad at you."

What would you do in my situation?

no way jose!!!!

<blockquote><b>Quoting bulbasaur!:</b>" I agree. I just feel bad saying no, like I'd offend her or something? It's just her new driving/ i don't ... [snip!] ... driving/ i don't trust their car... and my daughter's age. Like when she's verging on end of 3 to 4 fine, but not quite now."</blockquote>




Don't feel bad about it. She is your child and you have a right to protect her. Just explain that you really aren't comfortable with it yet but maybe in a few years.

just tell her your daughter isn't ready for a trip that long and far away from her mama yet

Quoting Dr. Angelface:" just tell her your daughter isn't ready for a trip that long and far away from her mama yet"

Yeah, and even if I came (which I will go) I would have to say no at this point in time... :/

I guess i just feel bad because I can empathise with her grandma (in not seeing grandkid) and her aunts intentions on bringing them both to see her. I want my daughter to know that side of her family, but obviously I don't feel comfortable with it now. I just don't wanna seem like the bad guy.

I've had my daughter visit my own grandparents 2 hours away,but I've always had me and also my mother to help the trip along (seriously, it's hell). And have had a bed and a place to stay, a nearby hospital, etc. Ready there.

Being a single mama I feel it's different if it's my BD's side and people i've never met and a place I've never been.

Quoting bulbasaur!:" What would you do in my situation?"

I would just explain to her that you're not comfortable letting her go for that long away from you. I mean it's a two hour drive there and two hours back, plus however long they visit, you're looking at at least 6 hours minimum with your two year old away from you. That's a long time for her. Let that be the main focus over her driving...that way maybe she'll understand without getting upset/mad/defensive.

Quoting ~Mommyof3girls~:" I would just explain to her that you're not comfortable letting her go for that long away from you. ... [snip!] ... for her. Let that be the main focus over her driving...that way maybe she'll understand without getting upset/mad/defensive."

Thanks   It's just explaining her this AFTER she asks me to come along too.

Quoting bulbasaur!:" Thanks   It's just explaining her this AFTER she asks me to come along too."

Tell her that your daughter isn't ready for a trip that long yet? I know my oldest two (4 and 5 now) couldn't sit in the car more than 20 minutes when they were that age. Going on our first family vacation as a family of 4 to Florida was pure hell (15 month old and 3 month old at the time) We had to drive at night so we'd get most of the driving out of the way while they slept.