post your story
posted 27th Jan
so i was just thinking, i'd like to hear your story of how you ended up being a single mama. im a single mom.. it's hard at times. i just like reading other poeples post to see what they have to say about the daddy of their kid(s) im going to post mine, and if you want to feel free to post yours, i'd like to read it. and if you have anything you need to vent about to me, then do it! im here to listen(: i think telling other people how you feel is a good stress reliever, i get sad, mad and angry a lot for the way my baby daddy did me and my son mainly, and it helps to write it out and talk to people about it with the same siutation! so feel free to post girls!(:
so this is mine...
so me and my baby daddy whose name is jerry met over facebook, don't judge(; lol. i was soo attracted to him, country guy, lifted truck, had tons in common. he just seemed perfect. well we ended up dating, making love, and i ended up pregnant. i remember taking the pregnancy test over at his sisters house, where he lived. everyone was so excited! running around, happy, i was happy/nervous/scared lol. and i could tell he was too! when we got some alone time together, he kissed me, told me how happy he was to be having a baby and couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me! he was calling everybody, telling them, kissing on my belly, and everything! it was really sweet. so my very first appointment, him, his mama and my mama all came. he also came to the appointment where i got my very first ultrasound, he said he was fixing to cry cause he was so excited to see his baby on the screen! he stayed with me 3 months of my pregnancy, thennn me and him just couldn't stop arguing, it was for a lot of reasons. we just got into fights about the littilest things. but a lot of the things mattered to me. like i was pregnant and he wouldn't even feed me. i would sit at his house hungry! he would also always leave me to go off and go coon hunting while i was in bed. it kinda just made me sad, and also being pregnant i was very hormonal, as every girl is when they are pregnant! well basically we broke up, told him i was coming to get my stuff from his house, he didn't wanna give it back.. it's still at his house actually lol. we didn't have any contact at all till i finally found out what i was having. me and his mama still had some contact and i had let her know what i was having which was a handsome little boy! well she asked me do i want her to tell jerry what the baby was, i approved and told her she could. that day he started calling, texting me and saying so we are having a boy? me and him met up, we talked and everything. i thought everything was back to normal, going good again, maybe we just needed a break, you know? well the next day i texted back, no answer. called, texted, called, texted.. no reply. he left again :/ after that we had no contact again till i had my baby (november 27th, 2012) then he kept calling wanting to see him, and everything. oh forgot to mention the time when we broke up he was also claiming the baby wasn't his and that i had got pregnant before we dated. sooo me as a dummy, approved and told him he could come see him the next day. this was actually 3 weeks later, so he didn't see cooper till he was 3 weeks old. the day he came to see cooper was atually really great, he arrived, brought diapers, formula, wipes, some clothes and pacis for cooper. he cried when he first saw him! he fell in love with him. after that we started hanging out, going to church, letting him see cooper. well i had ended up spending the night at his house, which the next morning i woke up to hear his phone buzzing away. soo i picked it up and he had been texting a bunch of different girls the same day we were together ( we had got back together) telling them how sexy they were, that he was their baby and all that... sooo i asked him "jerry are you single" he replied back saying "yeah, unless im hanging with you" so dumb!.. but anyways i told him maybe it's time we see different people cause it's clear he wanted to. he begged not to. i strictly told him he could see his son anytime he wanted to! cause i wanted him to be in his sons life. well the next day i tried calling him asking him does he still wanna see his son? no answer. i kept calling for an answer. he finally texted me replying back with "you need to leave me alone, im going to block your number" well he called me, cussed me out, told me i need to be telling my son how much of a wortless mother i am and that im nothing but trash, and a bitch. sooo after all that i found out about a week later he was dating a 21 year old woman (he is 17) and she already had a little girl. well he had said she was pregnant with his baby and that they got married. i had saw on his facebook where he put up a picture of the girls baby that isn't his and he put "my babygirl" i started crying like crazy, that really hurt me because how can he want something to do with a child that isn't his but not his own? soo we got into it, argued all that stuff.. i finally told him i hope him and that girl have a wonderful life. and ill be praying for him.
soooo a few days later, smurf happend again, he had been going around telling people that cooper was some guy name billys baby. i have no idea who that is lol! then he tried saying it was my friend thomas browns baby, then a guy name chris. it pissed me off! i told him to go for a DNA test but he didn't won't to! soo like me and his mama started talking, she called me up one day and said jerry and her do not speak anymore. that he doesn't won't anything to do with her since she wants something to do with her grandson! she went and took the insurance off his truck, told him off!! she told me she wants me to go for child support on him cause he needs to man up! me and her are really close. well a few days later he had been calling my kid ugly, saying it wasn't his. i went CRAZYYY. nobody gonna call my kid ugly! his mama told him off again, told him he best not call that baby ugly ever again! well him and her no longer speak, and me and him don't. he hasn't seen his child since christmas. i guess it's better off this way... he will never change, but i leave everything in Gods hands and hope for the best. i seen his mama about 2 days ago and i love her! he has turned his back on his whole family just because of some girl, and just because they love cooper? it's bs, but it is what it is!
i would really like to hear your story... i know this is long, sorry lol! but respond back with your story(: or if you even wanna respond back with how long you and your baby daddy have been together that's fine too, i love reading about couples who are still together! it gives me hope that maybe one day ill find a good man for me and my son(: so post away!
posted 27th Jan
BD1 was a15 year old kid who didn't want the responsibility.
BD2 is a 24 year old kid who doesn't want the responsibility
posted 27th Jan
OP, you should file for child support. The state will provide a DNA test. quote
I have 3 kids & live in Oregon
posted 27th Jan
Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" BD1 was a15 year old kid who didn't want the responsibility. BD2 is a 24 year old kid who doesn't want the responsibility "
really sorry to hear that! they will regret it all in the end! they are the ones really suffering.
posted 27th Jan
Quoting B( o )( o )BS!:" OP, you should file for child support. The state will provide a DNA test. "
i am looking into that! i deff wanna go through with the DNA test just to proove him wrong. he knows the kid is his, but i guess he is just being stupid and doesn't wanna take responsibility.
posted 27th Jan
BD was 22 years old but living in a 12 year olds body.
I was 17.
After getting me pregnant he blocked my number and wouldn't talk to me until I filed for child support two years later. Then he wanted to be buddy buddy :-D
He was an over privileged spoiled brat who threw away a masters degree and a good career to go and party and get into hard drugs and blame everyone else but himself for his decisions.
Now he's still a piece of smurf dead beat. Just 27 now instead of 22. He has seen my son 3 times in 4.5 years.
posted 27th Jan
Dh and I decided to get back together so I am no longer a single momma. I was though, for five months. After having LO, I became a total smurf with DH. He eventually got tired of it and left me. I got really upset and blamed it all on him, I thought nothing ever was my fault so I cut all communications with him. He would sometimes call my mom and beg her to talk to me and convince me to let him see LO but of course, I was hearing none of that. My mom eventually got tired of it and said she wasn't getting in between our mess. We stopped talking for three months and then somehow he got a hold of me. By that time my attitude was a little better and I decided to hear him out. We remained "friends" for a couple of months. I always told him I wanted to lay down and watch the airplanes come and go so one night, he set up a picnic/dinner outside an airport. We eventually got kicked out but it was about the sweetest thing anyone had done for me then. We got back together and a year and a half later we got married.
Thinking about it now, I don't blame him. I would had broken up with myself. I sometimes still look at him and apologize. I'm just glad that he wasn't like "smurf her" and moved on. He's honestly the best I've ever had in every aspect.
I have 1 child & live in Texas
posted 27th Jan
Quoting A&J. ♥:" Oh my. BD was 22 years old but living in a 12 year olds body. I was 17. After getting me pregnant ... [snip!] ... his decisions. Now he's still a piece of smurf dead beat. Just 27 now instead of 22. He has seen my son 3 times in 4.5 years."
wow! im really sorry. yours kinda sounds like mine, he dropped out of high school, has no high school education or a job but yet i guess he plans on supporting 3 kids. i hope you can find someone who will treat you and your kid good!
posted 27th Jan
Had a oops pregnancy with a fwb who turned out to be married with a kid. Its awesomequote
posted 27th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting A&J. ♥:</b>" Oh my. BD was 22 years old but living in a 12 year olds body. I was 17. After getting me pregnant ... [snip!] ... his decisions. Now he's still a piece of smurf dead beat. Just 27 now instead of 22. He has seen my son 3 times in 4.5 years."</blockquote>
I really hope you meant he was a12 year old living in a 22 year old body. Haha. But seriously, sorry he's such a POS. My older daughter's dad is too. Drugs are #1 in his life.
I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Michigan
posted 27th Jan
i was 18 and he had just helped me get out of a really bad situation (i was basically being kept somewhere against my will, cops were involved, and he was the one that drove 4 hours to pick me up and called the cops.)
he then took me on a canoe trip and we had sex. i got pregnant. i was on the pill but it happened anyway. the first few weeks he was happy bought me flowers took me to apts. ect.
then we found out it was a boy. he then got really distant, started treating me like crap. if i wanted to go grocery shopping he would make me go to work with him (he worked at a walmart supercenter) i would do my shopping then have to walk around the store or sit in the car until his shift was over.. it was the middle of winter in maine so there were times it was negative degrees out. and i was having complications so i couldnt walk around a lot in the store)
i had to force him to go to the hospital the day DS was born.. he said he didnt think i was actually going to have him that day so why bother going.. i told him if he didnt come then the baby was getting my last name and he wasnt going on the certificate.. sure enough DS was born that day!
he stayed living with us for 3 weeks but would not do anything with the baby, i had to force him to hold him long enough to wash bottles but he ended up putting DS in a swing and watching a movie.
he broke up with me 3 weeks after DS was born.. he changed his status on FB and didnt say anything to me (keep in mind we lived together) so all evening i was getting calls from people asking if i was alright and if the baby was ok ect.. but i had no idea why untill around midnight when i finally got online.
about 2 weeks later he left for basic training and didnt see DS again until he was 9 months old. then left and refused to come to his birthday. but then threw DS a second party a month later for his parents (he only did it cause his dad asked for it) didnt see him again till DS was around 16 months but ignored him the whole time. then DS and i moved to CA (we were all in ME) he tried calling and being nice around DS's 2nd bday but it was only cause he thought i would sleep with him again. i kept trying to make the texts about DS but he kept trying to make it sexual.
here we are and DS turns 3 in April and we havnt gotten a single text, call, letter or anything since that last April when he was texting.
he has admitted that he would give up custody in a heartbeat if i asked. the state is going after him so i do get CS. he has a (almost)1 yr old daughter with someone else and she just won full custody. he says he will fight till the death for his daughter but would willingly give up DS...
ohh well its his loss.. i have a amazing fiance that loves DS like his own.. even his family all consider DS as one of the grandkids (4 total now including DS)
posted 27th Jan
wow reading your story kind of reminded me a little of mine.
I met my BD last October (2011).. I was living in at my dads in Brooklyn at the time. Had to live there because my family has some difficulties and we had no where else to go. It was really hard because ive never lived with my dad besides when I was about 6 months old. So my brother and I were staying at his apartment with him, my stepmom & 5 year old sister. We each had a couch to sleep on but its a really small apartment and it was not comfortable for all of us. I am grateful to them for letting us stay there though. Anyway while living there I got a job in Manhatten and would take the train to and from work. One night I was walking home, I walked past this bar and BD was standing outside. As I was walking by he said "hey beautiful" I said hi thanks and continued on my way. He then said "wait come back" so I turned around and talked to him for a while and exchanged numbers. I didn't have any friends in Brooklyn at the time and I was lonely so I was excited to meet someone. I got home and he called asking if I wanted to come back to the bar and have a drink with him, I declined as I was so tired. So the next night we ended up meeting there and hanging out. We talked for a few hours and I went home. We ended up spending every day together from there on. About a month and a half later my dad told us we needed to move out because the landlord was freaking that so many people where in the apartment. At the time my mom was living in a small studio apartment in Staten Island because that's all she could afford. Her landlord specified only 1 person was to live there. So what happened was my brother went to stay with her and basically hid from her landlord. I didn't know what to do so BD offered that I could move in with him at his dads apartment. So I did. At first things were great. In the middle of January we went to Arizona to visit his mom and sister because his sister had a baby. We stayed there for 3 weeks. While out there I found out I was pregnant. We were both really happy. Him and his mom tried to convince me that we should stay out there. I did not want to, I had only just met his mom and I wanted to be near my family during my pregnancy and when the baby was born. My mom and I are super close and this was going to be her 1st grandchild so I just couldn't do that to her. We came back to Brooklyn like we had originally planned. BD promised me he would find a job and get us an apartment. Well that didn't happen. He had done some drugs before I got preg, only socially though. Well when we got home I found out he had been doing them without me knowing and he continued to do them.We fought constantly. His dads apartment was a basement apartment with no windows, there was rarely any food, and because BD didn't work we had to eat what little his dad would buy. I would always be so angry because whatever money he came across he spent on drugs mostly, and gave me a little for food. Stupid me I stayed there for months believing him when he told me everything would be fine but in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't. My mom had even offered to get an apartment with us so we could all afford it. Well he wasn't having that. So finally in June when I was around 6 months pregnant I told him I was going to stay at my moms (she moved to a different place where I could stay). He told me he was going to detox and then would find a job. YEAH OK.. anyway I stayed with my mom the remainder of my pregnancy and didn't see him until my last dr appt the monday before I had my daughter. They decided to schedule an induction for wed 9/26. He asked if he should come at 6 that night when I was going in and I told him no because I was only supposed to start off with cervidil and that would be for 12 hours. So I told him to come around 10am Thursday 9/27. I had no idea that I would start to labor on my own 2 hours after I arrived at the hospital wed night. Im glad it worked out that way though because I had a stress free labor with just my mom there. Thursday morning I started pushing around 845am. We didn't call BD because there was no service and I didn't want my mom to miss anything by going outside, also I didn't care if he came or not. Well he ended up walking in 15 min before I had her. I honestly wish he hadn't been there at all. He gave me such a problem because I gave the other ID bracelet to my mom instead of him. He didn't deserve it and I needed my mom to have access to the hospital the most incase I needed here to bring me anything on non visiting hours. So he saw us the day she was born and the next day. We came home the 29th. He then didn't see here for 3 weeks and when he finally did come I wouldn't let him see her. I gave him a set time to come and he showed up late. He freaked out and threatened to take me to court. Blah blah blah hes a moron.. So now my babygirl is 4 months old (today!!) and he's only seen her like 5 times. He was continuesly harassing /me about what im doing and not to bring guys around her (like I have time to date? lol) In the beginning of December he told me he was going to some job program that you dorm at? Uh I knew it was rehab but he wouldn't tell me. So he went, didn't hear from him for a few weeks and then he called Christmas Day and finally admitted it was rehab. Ive heard from him a couple times. He actually called yesterday to tell me that this Thursday he gets a day pass and wants to come see here. I told him he can come but not without bringing me diapers and wipes. I really don't want him to see her at all but I want to look like the better person when it comes time for court. I am taking him to court for full custody he just doesn't know it yet lol...
Sorry that was so long. I tried to make it as short as possible. I left a good amount out lol.... and I totally here you on the being sad & mad sometimes. I wanted so badly to give my babygirl a family and it makes me sad that we couldn't. But I am so happy because I don't have to share her with anyone =P and she has all the love she could possibly ever get here with me. We live with my mom and brother and they both adore her too <3
posted 28th Jan
I was 18, and started hanging with BD. I had met him when I was 14, but we never really hung out.
He was 21. It was Summer. We drank, smoked, and partied all of the time.
We never had protected sex, and we did it anywhere from 1-5 times a day lol.
Well, I ended up pregnant a month later. Told him, he denied it, accepted it, denied it, accepted it, blah blah.
He was emotionally abusive. He kicked me in the stomach around 25 weeks. He apologized and bawled his eyes out, and I stupidly took him back.
He continued to be emotionally abusive.
When I had DD, it seemed he changed. He stayed at the hospital with us, he helped as much as he could, he constantly gushed about how much he loved us. It was awesome.
I found out 3 days after she was born that he had been in a full blown relationship with his ex-girlfriend and I my whole pregnancy.
I took him back, again.
We were on and off until a little over 2 months ago, when I finally got fed up and told him it was over.
Since then, I've talked to a couple of guys. I'm talking to a guy now and so far I really like him. I'm glad I finally took that step and left for good.
BD is the only one with regrets. He still wants me and I have NO desire to talk to him at all. It was definitely for the best.
posted 28th Jan
Quoting Kenley's Mama*:" wow reading your story kind of reminded me a little of mine. I met my BD last October (2011).. I was ... [snip!] ... has all the love she could possibly ever get here with me. We live with my mom and brother and they both adore her too <3 "
i really enjoyed reading yours story(: yours does remind me of mine too! i think this is all for the best. i mean of course, i wanted my son to know who his real dad is.. but you know that doesn't always happen and we have to go on in life! our kids will have a great life. but i am glad to hear yours does want to see her. i wish mine did, but that's ok. he has plenty of love and he will always have his mommy!
posted 28th Jan
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" I was 18, and started hanging with BD. I had met him when I was 14, but we never really hung out. He ... [snip!] ... BD is the only one with regrets. He still wants me and I have NO desire to talk to him at all. It was definitely for the best. "
so sorry to hear about him being abusive! that's so aweful. but i know what you mean, it's hard cause you really love that person. it's like no matter what they do your so emotionally attached to them. i guess it's because you have a kid with them and you will always have that connection! but im glad you have found someone you like(: i hope he will treat you and your baby great girl!