I know we're a family, but I paid for this. It's MINE.

I've spent all day preparing to leave SO.

I have no friends. I have no family. I've been turning in job applications for a second job. I've contacted a few people through CL to rent a room. I figure it'll just be LO's room. I'll sleep in it with her...

I have love for SO..I just don't feel I love him anymore.
It's been like that for the past year....I've just been hoping it'd change. It hasn't. We don't argue or fight constantly, maybe once every couple of months and it's always the same thing....it comes back to the same argument with him. When I was a SAHM, we would bicker about small things, but then it'd always come down to him saying "Well, you don't like it, leave. This is MY house". That's what bothers me. It's HIS home. Never mind the fact that I was a SAHM with our LO..it came down to he bought this, he paid for that. So I got a job. It's the same argument still though...only he makes MORE than me. I can't win.

We got into a fight on the way to work actually. He suggested we carpool. I said sure, thinking I'd just drop him off at his job at 12PM. Long story short, it was the other way around, he took the car and dropped me off at my job 2.5 hours early....I was irritated because I had no reason to be at work that early. So I told him it was a stupid idea, it escalated to him bringing up "Well it's MY car"....so I got out of HIS car....and walked the rest of the way to work.

I know leaving is financially stupid, but I just want a place to call my own. Even if it's just a bedroom in a strange house filled with my daughter's things.

We never discussed breaking up, he just told me to "Quit smurfing talking about it and just do it already"...so...I'm going to.

He never came back to HIS house last night. Nor this morning. I hope I don't see him tonight either. No phone calls. No texts. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this, where your SO thinks because he pays for things, you don't really have a say? What happened? I'm worried because to rent a room for a month, it's around $500 and half of utilities....I'm only part time. How pathetic is it, I'll have to spend everything I have to have one bedroom to myself? I don't know what I'm doing anymore...If I wasn't so damn selfish I would leave LO with someone and live in a car for free. At least it would be MY car. This will probably ruin my child....

Id move in with family. I was in a situation like that... Id leave...  

It is super smurffy of your SO to treat you that way. Your job was to care for your little one. I would point out the cost of daycare and let him know that is what you would be paying. I honestly think you need a better plan than to just leave and rent a room in a stranger's home. It isn't safe for you or your little one. Tell your SO he can take HIS car but you are going to stay in YOUR home.

It sounds like he's using money to control you. He probably doesn't think you'll actually leave...so good for you! If you made the decision together for you to be a SAHM, he has no right to hold that over your head constantly. You don't need that. It sounds like he's trying to make you dependent on him (or just convince you that you are) as a means of making you stay.

Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" Id move in with family. I was in a situation like that... Id leave...  "

I don't have any....other than my daughter.

Keep your chin up Momma. If you feel this is what you need to do, if it is what is best for LO and yourself, then you need to do it! Just keep telling yourself that renting the room is just temporary, until you can afford to get an apartment for you and LO. You can do this, just keep a positive mind! Good luck!

Do you want your child thinking this is the way a man should treat a lady?


There is no shame in the struggle of starting anew. Just because 6ou have a crummy job now doesn't mean you can't get better. When I left my stupid ex-husband suddenly, I had NO job. I started a great career, and have a super life now. You can do it if you put your mind to it.

instead of a strangers house, could you see about a hotel somewhere?
If you can afford it.. it'd probably be safer for you and your LO.

<blockquote><b>Quoting pilot Jess:</b>" Do you want your child thinking this is the way a man should treat a lady? There is no shame in the ... [snip!] ... suddenly, I had NO job. I started a great career, and have a super life now. You can do it if you put your mind to it."</blockquote>




      This!!

Quoting Monica♥YASDYARDFR:" It is super smurffy of your SO to treat you that way. Your job was to care for your little one. I would ... [snip!] ... home. It isn't safe for you or your little one. Tell your SO he can take HIS car but you are going to stay in YOUR home. "

That's just where the argument begins though. It's like he never refers to anything as "ours". I do. In fact, our whole savings...well..MY whole savings account is only accessible to me. The whole thing is so frustrating. My whole first half of my work shift yesterday I spent trying not to cry cause I was so pissed.

Quoting pilot Jess:" Do you want your child thinking this is the way a man should treat a lady? There is no shame in the ... [snip!] ... suddenly, I had NO job. I started a great career, and have a super life now. You can do it if you put your mind to it."

Thank you, I hope I'm that lucky. Did you have any help? I'm not worried about the lack of companionship or anything. I can do just fine on my own, but it's going to be so hard financially...I also depend on his family to watch LO while I work, so I hope this doesn't blow up on me.

It's hard starting over, but just know it won't be crappy forever. It may be hard for a while, and you may struggle but it'll all be worth it in the end.

Good luck. I'd be leaving, too. Smurf that.
And hey, do what youve gotta do. Even if it's in someones attic, kwim?

Quoting Courtney; [37 weeks]:" instead of a strangers house, could you see about a hotel somewhere? If you can afford it.. it'd probably be safer for you and your LO. "

I think a hotel would be more expensive. There's no way I can afford that, although I will look into that also. The only ones I know in this area are really nice hotels. So I'm assuming they're probably out of my price range.

Quoting BG Secrets:" Thank you, I hope I'm that lucky. Did you have any help? I'm not worried about the lack of companionship ... [snip!] ... going to be so hard financially...I also depend on his family to watch LO while I work, so I hope this doesn't blow up on me. "

I would into getting assistance and help to pay child care, he also has to pay child support. You can do it, just put your mind to it. Are you guys married?