re: i am a horrible person

Quoting POCOYO:" i married him because its the thing to do, you have kids you get married so your kids dont ask why their last name is different than yours."

There's your problem. You DON'T just marry someone because you made children with them. They would be more confused as to why mommy and daddy hate each other than about their last name being different. I don't think you should just submit to him sexually though, if you don't want to have sex with him, you don't have to. You should look into counseling though, even if it's just for you I think it would help you a lot.

Quoting Dr. Angelface:" well in my case i hope its that he is over stressed and over worked and that is a big part of his lack ... [snip!] ... in order for things to change. but i'm accidentally pregnant with our 2nd child right now so i can't do anything right now."

when i had one i wanted to leave i was able to leave, but then number 2 came along and i was just stuck.
i show interest in his life, he doesnt in mine.(mainly because i never leave my house and have no friends)
have you asked him whats wrong? i ask late at night when hes really tired and he jsut lets it all out

Quoting POCOYO:" when i had one i wanted to leave i was able to leave, but then number 2 came along and i was just stuck. ... [snip!] ... and have no friends) have you asked him whats wrong? i ask late at night when hes really tired and he jsut lets it all out"

he never wants to talk about it. he acts like no sex for 6 months is no big deal and makes up excuses that are outside of himself. it sucks because he is a great husband in every other way but i just want more out of our personal relationship. sometimes i worry the chemistry just isn't there....
before we were married we had sex almost every day.........as soon as we were married this downward spiral started......so it has been going on since the first year we were married. it will be 9 years soon.

Quoting I AM TRON:" There's your problem. You DON'T just marry someone because you made children with them. They would be ... [snip!] ... him, you don't have to. You should look into counseling though, even if it's just for you I think it would help you a lot. "

Yes to everything you just said...kids notice that you aren't affectionate with each other. Kids can sense all of the emotions you think you are protecting them from.

btw, he also does this thing where he will grope me and act all lovey dovey when we are in front of people but when we are alone he never does it. he kisses me like i'm his sister and tells me i'm cute all the time but never sexy .

so confusing.