Deciding to keep baby after so sure on abortion.

To start, I am a mommy to three wonderful kids! I never thought I'd consider an abortion. When I found out I was pregnant in December I cried and was so scared of having four kids so young. Especially since my youngest was seven months old. I thought for sure I could not raise another kid. But time was flying by and eventually it was feeling too late to get an abortion once I was passed 9 wks, (was considering the pill, as the actual surgery was not an option). So my man decided we should keep it. Although I was devastated at first when I learned I was pregnant, I am now very excited. I'm so worried that my feelings for this baby won't be as strong, since I'm living with this constant guilt that I even considered ending my child's life. Has anyone ever gone through this? I want to love this child so much but I feel awful for my initial reaction. What will I say to my child when they are older? Or does all that guilt vanish when baby is here?

Sorry if this isn't the right board to post in!

I did with my third. Spent the whole pregnancy regretting that I didn't.

It never fully went away for me. There are still times where I do regret not going through with it but I do love her. I do intend on telling her at some point in the future but my kids are being raised to not view abortion in a negative light so it likely won't faze her much.

I think for a lot of women who have an unplanned pregnancy, that option runs through their mind at least once. If anything, the feeling of guilt will probably make your feelings for your child even stronger because you will be so thankful you didn't go through with it. If that makes any sense...?

No you will bond just fine and love the child as much as your others. The guilt will fade. When I was pregnant at 17 it was either my drunk ass 22 year old bf's baby, or the result of a rape. So I strongly considered it but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The guilt faded very quickly, especially when she started kicking and getting hiccups every day   You'll be fine! And then tell him to get a damn vasectomy! 4 is plenty LOL

I never considered abortion, but have been in your shoes. my 4th was unplanned and very unexpected. my youngest was only 4 months old. I was scared and unsure. I was afraid we couldn't do it. we were barely getting by as it was. but we made the most of it and now that she is here, I can't imagine my life without her. I know I didn't offer any advice, but I just wanted you to know it happens. good luck!

Oh goodness you do have alot on your plate...how old are your other children?

Quoting Mrs. Reynolds:" No you will bond just fine and love the child as much as your others. The guilt will fade. When I was ... [snip!] ... she started kicking and getting hiccups every day   You'll be fine! And then tell him to get a damn vasectomy! 4 is plenty LOL"

yup.. hubby got his vasectomy the day I went in for my 6 wk post partum... lol

Just the fact that you feel guilt about thinking about it shows you love your child.
I don't mean that statement as a pro choice sounding one but as a "you clearly live this baby or you wouldn't be worried about that feeling."
I'm pro choice but you've made a decision to keep it and love it which is exactly what I see in this post, your love for this child.
Don't fret about it and you don't ever have to tell your baby that you considered abortion.
Good luck!

I considered abortion for my unwanted pregnancy. I decided to keep her though since I found out at 12 weeks and the ultrasound was a baby moving around...changed my mind and plus BD wasn't talking to me offered to pay for the abortion then wouldn't answer his phone. considered adoption too but if I was carrying a baby and pushing it out, I wanted to keep it, lol. We are fine, I don't feel guilty at all for considering my options. It was an unwanted pregnancy I hated every minute of it, cried every night and was not prepared at all. I have a happy, healthy 13 month old beautiful daughter and I don't regret keeping her or feel bad for wanting to abort her. The fact is that I didn't and when she's older I won't lie to her, she was unexpected. Unwanted was the pregnancy but once it was over I felt so much better. Having 3 kids almost 4 sounds scary to me, but people do it they have big families and if you guys are strong and can handle it, once that baby is here he/she will be so loved. good luck!

Quoting J+D=4:" yup.. hubby got his vasectomy the day I went in for my 6 wk post partum... lol"

YUP that's what mine is doing! lol

<blockquote><b>Quoting Colton's Mommy ♥:</b>" I think for a lot of women who have an unplanned pregnancy, that option runs through their mind at least ... [snip!] ... for your child even stronger because you will be so thankful you didn't go through with it. If that makes any sense...?"</blockquote>




I never thought of it like that, loving this baby even more because of keeping it! thank you, really does change my perspective a bit.

I planned on getting an abortion when I found out I was pregnant. I had an appointment set up and everything. But me and SO changed our minds and my son is now 6 months old. I love him to death would do/give anything for him. I can't imagine my life without him now. That guilt went away for me after a few months, and any guilt I may have still had from time to time went away completely as soon as he was born and I got to hold him.

Quoting Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy:" I did with my third. Spent the whole pregnancy regretting that I didn't. It never fully went away for ... [snip!] ... point in the future but my kids are being raised to not view abortion in a negative light so it likely won't faze her much."

This!

I know what you mean. <3 I hope it gets better for you.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Big Booty Heaux™:</b>" Oh goodness you do have alot on your plate...how old are your other children?"</blockquote>




My kids are 4 1/2, 2 1/2, and 8 months.

I think that its ok to consider all your options, and you shouldnt feel bad for it, but i wouldnt tell your LO later that he/she was unwanted, or that you regret your decision. Its ok to say they were unexpected, or that it was a big decision, but why tell your kid that they werent as special as their siblings. Theres no reason for it unless they ask. Its a small secret to keep, that wouldnt hurt you to keep, but might hurt them to know.