re: breast feeding...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bangtail:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... are you helping the breastfeeding cause by putting down women who want to breastfeed their own way? My body, my choice, right?"</blockquote>




The simple fact that she is uncomfortable doing it because she's worried someone else would be turned on by it is the perversion.

And uh... I never put anyone down. I give 0 smurfs if or how someone breastfeeds. The belief society has that breasts are for men's enjoyment and you should feel shame if you have the audacity feeding your child in pubic is what I have a problem with.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bangtail:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & ... [snip!] ... men's enjoyment and you should feel shame if you have the audacity feeding your child in pubic is what I have a problem with."</blockquote>


In a way, I agree. However, the idea that boobs aren't wholly sexual really is a relatively new concept in this country. So going from one extreme to totally comfortable will take some time. Maybe if we made those women who only feel comfortable bf'ing in private like they are doing something good instead of antiquated, they will eventually get comfortable enough within themselves to bf in public. The breastfeeding push really took off again in our generation after generations of women were taught that it was strange and/or low class. One of the original purposes for a wet nurse was because high class women were above feeding their babies. These ideas are 100% antiquated but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't afford women some understanding. In my personal experience, it is women who judge each other most harshly, while men couldn't really care less. So it's our job to change that. I don't think that judging a woman's choice of bf'ing helps in opening the dialogue.

Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bangtail:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & ... [snip!] ... men's enjoyment and you should feel shame if you have the audacity feeding your child in pubic is what I have a problem with."

I do agree that woman should be more comfortable BF but I think it's a whole different ball game when it comes to doing it in public. I not only worry about a perv seeing it and taking it somewhere that it has no business being, but some woman don't/haven't had their children exposed to things like this. I am not only uncomfortable doing it in public cause their may be pervs out there but also to respect the women that may not be on the level of thinking it's a natural thing for some reason. If I had a wrap and was covered then I think it would be ok, but to just have it out in the open...idk if I could do that?  

Quoting M. Johnson:" I do agree that woman should be more comfortable BF but I think it's a whole different ball game when ... [snip!] ... If I had a wrap and was covered then I think it would be ok, but to just have it out in the open...idk if I could do that?  "

I don't think that's a healthy attitude about other people's kids, it's furthering the problem. If that mother has issues about a normal healthy thing then that is her problem to confront her own issues and deal with it. You'd be doing her children a favour by feeding your child in the healthiest way.

To think bf is wrong is really off. That's like saying a certain disability or race is something you don't like, so you expect all those people to hide so your children don't see it. Can you see how messed up that is?

Smoking is unhealthy and dangerous, people do not hide that in public. Eating lots of processed 'food' is unhealthy, people don't hide that from kids. Feeding formula is unhealthy, people don't hide that.
Yes breastfeeding is the most natural healthy thing and that should be hidden for fear of offending kids who mostly likely wouldn't even notice :/

Quoting Mama*AtoZ:" I don't think that's a healthy attitude about other people's kids, it's furthering the problem. If that ... [snip!] ... the most natural healthy thing and that should be hidden for fear of offending kids who mostly likely wouldn't even notice :/ "

Hon, I'm not saying hide it from the child. I'm just saying it's not my place to decide what you want your child to be taught, or how they learn it. That would be like me coming into your home saying your kids need to learn this because I believe in it.
I'm just saying that it's not my place to force an image on someone's kid that they may not want them to see, is all. Weather I think it's a beautiful natural thing is one thing, but someone else may not feel that way...ya know?
Oh but on another note, formula isn't unhealthy. It's not as good/healthy as your milk but it's not UNheathly. My daughter couldn't drink my milk from 3 months on cause she developed a sever case of being lactose intolerant. She had no choice but to drink a soy base formula. So it's not that it's unhealthy...your natural milk is just better.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama*AtoZ:</b>" I don't think that's a healthy attitude about other people's kids, it's furthering the problem. If that ... [snip!] ... the most natural healthy thing and that should be hidden for fear of offending kids who mostly likely wouldn't even notice :/ "</blockquote>



Camel toe is unhealthy and people don't hide that either. Of course, it is a full functional and completely natural body part so we should respect their right to show it.

Seriously, though, you aren't doing someone else's kids a favor by putting down their mother's choices and/or opinions at such a young age. That's not your place. If you were to say something to my sons (who were breastfed, though not for more then about three months each), I'd slap the milk outta you. It isn't about offending them, it's about respecting the fact that not all kids have been taught anything about bf'ing. I'm not saying that's right and I'm not saying that you should avoid bf'ing in public because of it. However, expect some stares from kids. I can guarantee my sons would stare. I'd try to catch it and talk to them about it but I can still promise they'd at the very least be intrigued because it isn't something they're exposed to hardly if ever. You don't need to be the one saying something to those kids.

Quoting Bangtail:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mama*AtoZ:</b>" I don't think that's a healthy attitude about ... [snip!] ... because it isn't something they're exposed to hardly if ever. You don't need to be the one saying something to those kids."

     exactly! It's not that we're not saying we wouldn't BF in public if we had to or agree that it shouldn't be done period, just that it's not your place to impose our thoughts/belief's/boobs on other peoples kids.
Which leads back to the whole point on me starting this post. Would you feed in front of your own child, and if so how would/did you explain it to them when they asked about it?
My 5 y/o daughter has already been asking me about why my breast's are bigger than hers? Which threw me for a loop cause she's not seen mine since I stopped taking a shower with her at like 1 1/2! But when she hugged me one day, the question followed. I finally broke down and told her it's cause I was prego and explained that the baby is going to be feeding from me like a cat/dog/or any animal does when they're born. (we live in the country around a lot of farms) But now I'm thinking I didn't quite handle that in enough detail for her. Idk....

<blockquote><b>Quoting M. Johnson:</b>"      exactly! It's not that we're not saying we wouldn't BF in public if we had to or agree ... [snip!] ... live in the country around a lot of farms) But now I'm thinking I didn't quite handle that in enough detail for her. Idk.... "</blockquote>



I did, but my son was only 2 1/2 at the time. I've never showered or anything with my sons but they have both asked what my boobs were and I just have them age appropriate answers (something girls have and boys don't) until they were old enough to understand. My sister has two daughters and she just told them that theirs will grow in when they get older until they were old enough for "the talk." My sister's daughters are three years apart and she would breastfeed in front of them and they would all pretend to breastfeed their dolls. I think it's pretty normal and they grow out of it.

It all just boils down to how you feel and how you think your family will feel, if that matters to you.

Quoting Bangtail:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mama*AtoZ:</b>" I don't think that's a healthy attitude about ... [snip!] ... because it isn't something they're exposed to hardly if ever. You don't need to be the one saying something to those kids."

I think you're confused. I never said i would have a problem with a child looking nor that i would talk to them about it. I said there is nothing wrong with feeding your baby in public and i would not avoid feeding my child just incase some weirdo out there doesn't want their child to see it. They are the ones with the issues that they need to deal with, i'm the one doing something normal and healthy and necessary.

Quoting M. Johnson:" Hon, I'm not saying hide it from the child. I'm just saying it's not my place to decide what you want ... [snip!] ... She had no choice but to drink a soy base formula. So it's not that it's unhealthy...your natural milk is just better. "

It's not the case that formula is the norm/standard and breastmilk offers something better, that's one of the myths that contributes to awful bf rates. Breastfeeding is the biological norm and not doing it increases a lot of health risks for mother and child.

Quoting Mama*AtoZ:" It's not the case that formula is the norm/standard and breastmilk offers something better, that's ... [snip!] ... to awful bf rates. Breastfeeding is the biological norm and not doing it increases a lot of health risks for mother and child. "

I wish you were in every BF thread.

Quoting FaithLovesPussyCats:" I wish you were in every BF thread."

I'm already hated on here for my support of unconditional parenting/non punitive discipline, talking about bf aswel is just too much for this site  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama*AtoZ:</b>" I think you're confused. I never said i would have a problem with a child looking nor that i would ... [snip!] ... They are the ones with the issues that they need to deal with, i'm the one doing something normal and healthy and necessary. "</blockquote>



Yeah, I think I read it wrong. It appeared to me that you were basically saying you were going to take it into your own hands to educate and/or berate other people's children.

The problem with this issue is that you have super passionate people on both sides, and I think you have mother-guilt in the middle. Sometimes the women I see on here speaking about bf'ing (on both sides) are passionate to the point that they're insulting and make it sound like the rest aren't mother enough or are too in-your-face.

I think just breastfeeding wherever you have to has the natural side effect of teaching others. I had never seen a single person breastfeeding before i became a mother, that is really sad. It was confusing, awkward and difficult. I once had a lady at church stop me when i was on the way to the bathroom with my newborn (gross) and tell me that i should feed him on my seat as it's a great thing. I really appreciated her saying that. The biggest thing of all that helped me was when DS was 6 weeks old and i took him to our first mom and baby group. I had massive oversupply and would spray milk everywhere, DS only went 45 mins between nursing and i was a nervous wreck stressing about what to do. Another mama openly breastfed her 14 month old and another her 9 month old, it was one of the biggest 'reliefs' i've ever experienced. I felt so comfortable, supported and empowered to be able to meet my baby's needs being around those women. I've known others to feel the same way when i openly talked about things or bf my child in public. I think hiding away is not just horrible for the mother and child but has a negative impact on society. There is nothing wrong with feeding in public so if anyone has a problem with it then they need to deal with their problem. Like i said, some people might not want to talk about race, gay love or disability to their children but it sure as hell doesn't mean any minority should hide in fear of offending someone with abnormal issues. The breastfeeder should continue and not hide in shame for the minority with screwy opinions, they should carry on as normal and it will continue to benefit society. Hiding for the minority only serves to increase them to the majority. Doing that just says 'yes, your opinion on BF being wrong is probably correct so i should hide for your comfort', that's a horrible message to send out  

I would, and I do currently breastfeed our youngest in front of our three year old. For a few months our oldest breastfed along with our youngest lol, she weaned herself at nearly three years old. It's just not a big deal to us. Heck the other day our oldest pointed out that my husband has small nipples like hers.